My girlfriend has an issue that really bothers me. She has a dozen other guys that she likes to hang out with. She claims they are all just old friends and I have nothing to worry about because she is faithful to me and these other guys just like her as a friend. Yes, that all sounds fine and good except for the fact that I don't fully buy it. I believe she intends to be faithful, but I am certain that some of these guys, if not all of them, are only interested in getting in her pants. After all, I am a man and I know what they want! I even saw emails a guy sent her that said he thought she was hot and couldn't stop thinking about her. I confronted her about it and she said I had nothing to worry about and that I was NOT going to tell her who her friends could be. It makes me feel disrespected to know that she hangs out with these guys even though she knows I'm uncomfortable with it. A couple of them are ex-boyfriends and she has never introduced me to any of them! I feel excluded.
2006-11-30 13:45:16 · 14 answers · asked by nn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've asked her to invite her "friends" to our house so I can meet them, but she says it would make them feel uncomfortable because she has told them that I would get jealous. I wouldn't be jealous if she could display to them, in my presence, that I am her man. When she hides me from them, it makes me feel as if there is a secret between them that I'm not allowed to be a part of. Trying to discuss my feelings on the subject only makes her angry and she refuses to talk about it. She tells me that she is beautiful and popular and that everyone wants to be near her because she is fun and that I will simply have to learn to accept that she will have many male friends. Male friends is one thing, but secret male friends, who I'm not allowed to meet is something else intirely, in my opinion. If there is nothing to hide, then why not bring them over to the house and let me get to know them too? We tried couples counseling, but she quit when the counselor told her that her behavior was wrong.
2006-11-30 13:57:12 · update #1
Yeah, I would be a little worried. Ask her what she is missing in you that makes her prefer the company of other guys that you can't meet. I have mostly male friends but that is because they are easier to talk to and give me real answers on guy stuff and I am fully willing to include my honey if they should invite me to go somewhere and if he doesn't want to go or can't then I don't go. These are friends that I have had before I met him so he knows that if I wanted any of them it would be them I was with and not him. Ask yourself if she is cocky and feels like you should be lucky to have her and will take whatever she dishes to have whatever time you can have with her. If so, realize your worth, evaluate the situation and proceed from there. Do you spend more time worrying than you do loving with her? Write it down, pros and cons and weigh it out.
Hope it helped.
2006-11-30 13:56:51 · answer #1 · answered by betterthanhers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow I totally see your point here. Do this though. Start hanging out with her and her guy friends. If she doesn't like that then you know you have a big problem. That isn't being controlling. If you and she are an exclusive couple then she should want you to be with her in the things she does. (not everything but you get the idea) If she WANTS you to be with her then you will understand that you just need to be doing things with her more.
2006-11-30 13:51:21 · answer #2 · answered by alicesarbonne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you one thing, that as a man you probably already know -- men are never just friends with women. Especially the single ones. They always want more. Always. Always. Always. Now I can say that as a woman only after experiencing the truth of it myself. When I was ever with a man I didn't really love or didn't make me happy, my guy friends were my respite. But once I met the right man, my guy "friends" knew it, and they fell away one by one. Now I only have girl friends, and a few guy friends, but NO SINGLE ones.
She's insecure and her guy friends make her feel special and sexy. Eventually she will either have sex with one of them or hook up in other ways. Trust me.
2006-11-30 13:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
honey let me tell ya somethng no girl will tell ya. out of all her male friends, there is one of them that is in love with her, (we all have one of those) and that one will be there when she is mad at u, when she needs to talk, for anything she needs just to be around her, she might not know he is in love with her and then again she might have a clue he does, and she will use him when ever u ****** up. so u need to find out which one he is and watch ya back. now she has the right to have male friends, unless u both agreed not to. and i dont see that happening. so all u can do is watch ya back. oh n we know u guys have the same thing. but the ex boyfriends being her friend I dont think is a smart move. maybe she just isnt the one for u.
2006-11-30 13:52:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run! Don’t walk…. It will only turnout bad for you in the end. You should be all the man she needs. Find someone that only wants to be with you. it will be hard enough to keep that relationship from going down the tubes without a bunch of guy friends up her butt.
2006-11-30 13:55:50 · answer #5 · answered by Sad jester 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she keeps you separate from these guys, then there is something going on! if she hung out with them & brought you along, then i wouldn't see anything wrong with her hanging out with them without you at other times. so, if she isn't willing to change this, well i would probably end the relationship now rather than later. odds are, something will come of her relationship with one of these guys. thats just the way it is. i don't blame you for being uptight.
2006-11-30 13:48:00 · answer #6 · answered by christy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dude, get your own life and stop worrying about hers. I (did) have the EXACT same problem w/ my girlfriend until she found out that I dont really care because I have my own life and if she does cheat (its easy to tell when someone cheats), she will be kicked to the curb immediately. Learn from me.
2006-11-30 13:49:41 · answer #7 · answered by AD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your fighting a losing battle, friend. Time to find some "friends" of your own. Some exotic stripper if possible. Then bang 'em. THAT should get her attention one way or another.
2006-11-30 13:48:40 · answer #8 · answered by Shadow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-28 02:50:22 · answer #9 · answered by vanderburg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is going to have friends then she should involve you in on the friendship after all you and her are a couple, she shouldn't be hanging out with other guys anyway she obvisiouly isn't ready to be committed to you.
2006-11-30 13:52:22 · answer #10 · answered by luv_meforever_06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋