can not have kids?

Question

Hi.
I can not have kids.This man I have been seeing,who is now talking marriage does want kids.
I told him I can`t.
He knew this while we were only dating,and I felt I had to remind him again.
When I told him he went quiet.I suggested if he wants his own children,he should find someone else.I feel so bad I can`t give him his own.
He said we will work out something when it comes to that point.
I feel he may change his mind before the marriage,and wants a woman that can give him his own.
How can I over come this feeling.I know we do love each other,I`m just so scared.
Thankyou to all reply.

Answer 1

I feel so sorry for you!!! (BIG hugs!!) My mom knows a person that can't have children I think that you should just talk it out with him. Tell him that you are sorry for not being able to have his kids, but that you had reminded him when you where dating. If he can't accept that, tell him that he should just find another person. You told him,and he still agreed to go out with you, and push marriage. So he can ether deal with it, adopt a baby, or get another person. If he get's another person, it's his loss.

Answer 2

What's his age? Honestly if he's over 35 and never married before, he probably really didn't want kids and he's just shocked that you keep bringing the subject up.

If he's in his early 20's and you have a clear criminal or psych record and you know that you both have the potential to make enough money to adopt, then you've already told him and you should hold on tight and keep your lips closed unless he brings the topic up himself. If he does bring up the topic and wants his own kids, then let him go.

Don't keep berating yourself in his eyes for it, though. Unless, you really don't want him to be with you and you want him to let you go.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear that. My best friend can't have children either and she's my age (29).
You told him upfront you can't have any. There's nothing else you can say. It's going to be his choice what he'll do, but if he really loves you, he'll figure out something!!
You can always find a surrogate mother to impregnate using your egg and his sperm. That would make it "his" child. There's always, adoption too. I know that wouldn't make it "his" child, but sometimes you have to improvise. If he really loves you, he'll look beyond this. You shouldn't have to be scared. He has to accept this if he really loves you. It sounds like he does.
Good luck to you both...

Answer 4

This so very common to a lot of women.
.
Women cannot have children for one reason or another
Same goes for the men to -
.
Surragacy is one option -
.
IVF is another - (if its posible with you)
.
If all else you may want to talk about adoption -

Answer 5

Scared of what hon? This man has said he wants to be with you for the rest of his life and he is unconcerned about you being able to conceive. He's willing to look at other options, you should do the same and remember, he loves you :)

Answer 6

There's always the option of having a surrogate mother using your egg and his sperm.

Answer 7

My wife and I had the same disucssion. My wife can not have kids. We are still together now (14yrs), we adopted three brothers (thats another story). It can work..

Answer 8

Try surrogate mothers or another option, adoption.

Answer 9

u can have kids ..find someone to carry ya child for u. they can implant her with ur child. concider it. read about it. see what he thinks

http://infertility.on-health.info/donor/Seragant.html

http://www.egypop.org/7013/infertility-best-matches-33/

http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic45141.html

Answer 10

DON'T FORGET YOU CAN ADOPT