How do I get over losing everything of my mother's from Katrina?

Question

My mother passed very suddenly three months before hurricane Katrina hit, I was seventeen when it happened. Losing her was the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I held on tight to everything she left for me, possessions, and a beautiful horse mural she painted on my room wall which I have always treasured because she and I loved horseback riding. The hurricane destroyed a great deal of what she left behind including family photographs, her jewelry and her paintings and of course, the horse mural was hardly recognizable when I returned home. I've lost so much of her and it kills me, but I feel as though without her and so much of what she left behind I'm beginning to forget her! I'm gradually forgetting things about my mother and it makes me cry to think about how I'll recall her perhaps five years from now. I love her and never want to forget her. And I feel like so much of my life has fallen apart since last year, I just want to be happy and normal, how can I be?

Answer 1

I am so so sorry for your loss.I really felt so helpless when i heard about what the people of katrina had to go through.I could not imagin anything worse im from Australia.I just want to tell you that you are a very strong person.You have had so much to deal with and i cant imagin how much pain you are feeling.It may feel like you have lost all memories of your mum but i think this happens to a lot of people that lose loved ones they forget how they smelt or the sound of there voice but its only because you are always thinking of them and it gets a little hazzy as time goes on it will get clearer.Your mum would be proud of how strong you are beeing. stay strong

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss. There is no way to actually get over losing your mother or the possesions and no matter what anyone says, you are going to grieve until you are ready to move forward. The loss will get easier to deel with. Now it is to fresh. Give yourself time. Here is something that helps me and I hope it helps you to. I lost my grandmother (a beautiful polish woman) suddenly in 1989 from a massive heart attack. I cried, grieved, thought, cried and grieved again and even now sometimes I still feel the loss. I missed her something horribly.Sometimes I could smell her fudge cooking in my house. Well it really hit me when I had my daughters. They would never get to meet her, so I took a picture of the last time I had seen her and placed it out in my house. I told my girls all about her, the many stories about her cooking and favorite sayings of her. the silly things we did together. We even go outside and look for the brightest star and say that is great grandma looking down at us. The girls never met her but they feel like they have. In the meantime, telling the many happy stories about her has kept her memory alive and keeps me remembering all the good times we had.

You will be lost in sorrow for sometime, but trust me you will never forget your mother. Write a journal about everything you can. About all your great memories. describe how she looked and what you to did together. Write and draw a picture of the horse mural and remember no matter what your mother is still with you. she is filled in your heart. you will be able to tell your children about her. The sorrow will slowly subside and the happy memories will return. You will find yourself saying something and think I sound like my mother.

Best of luck to you. I hope I helped some.

Answer 3

First of all, I want to say how sorry I am for your loss. I hope you are alright and feel really bad =( The best thing I can think of is that you should never forget your family no matter what. Even if there is no photo, it may make it harder the love of your mother shall never be replaced. You need to add people to your life in order to move on, I would suggest going out to eat and dating and nice young man, you can also get a pet... they calm people when humans are stressed and emotional. I have a horse myself, I love them, I also have fishes and planning on getting a cat. You should go shopping for yourself... this is also helps make people feel good. You may never forget what happened but sometimes that is a good thing to not forget and grieving helps. I believe I read there was a pill out to remove bad memory's and remove emotional pain.

This is something I wouldn't suggest but it has been studied for people who have been through VERY dramatic situations, something such at yours. Once again I am sorry for your loss. If your are in definite pain and need help I suggest you consult your doctor for a counselor and for depression medication.

Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 4

I just lost my mother also, and it is a hurt that goes on hurting..I know we all love our parents, but there is nothing like a mother's love. It is so sad that a lot of her things are gone also...Too someone else they would not mean anything but to a loved one they are worth a million dollars..They can never be replaced...I think we do not forget the people that die we store them away and they come back out from time to time as things remind us of them...You will never forget her..It is probably so painful right now, and maybe time will heal some..But a mothers love is non replaceable..I hope you the best, Talk to God, He is our comforter..He is never too busy..We don't even have to ask of anything he already knows what we need...I wish you luck..Just be the person your mother would want you to be and she will be proud

Answer 5

Just realize that you cannot take it with you in the end so maybe the total loss is to give you the opportunity to start over fresh.

We all have tragic losses, sometimes children, sometimes parents, sometimes our health. Dealing with it is probably the most painful part of life, but if we do not go down with the loss we learn, we grow, we help others who have the same kinds of loss. Even without pictures you will NEVER forget unless you get Alzheimers.

Answer 6

My dear child!! How awful. You aren't supposed to get over something like this, you are supposed to grieve and long for her. This is NORMAL. You need to be set up for grief counseling to learn how to deal with your feelings. You may think you are forgetting things about your mother, but you will be amazed at how suddenly you will remember something you thought was forgotten. Different things will pop up and surprise you at the oddest (sometimes not the best) moments. I am so sorry that this happened to you, and I hope you will find someone to help you through this (a counselor).

Answer 7

Aww sweetie, I am soo sorry. Really I am. Maybe after you get yourself together, you could start to write a journal of things about your mother. I know you can't get back the stuff ruined in the hurricane, however, if you could just write - start slowly, memories will come to you as you write. I really hope the best for you. I hate what you've had to deal with. Good luck sweetie and if you ever need someone to talk with, you can contact me.

Answer 8

Dear Suzie,

would you have us believe that your entire relationship with your deceased mother was based on things? What about remembering her as a person? I suggest you get a journal and write down what you remember about your mother from the day you recognized her as your mother until the day she died. Write down why she was wonderful, was she a good cook? Did she do things to benefit humanity? Describe her physically and psychologically, and describe the way she loved and cared for you. When you have completed your journal, leave pages where you can add later recollections. As you grow older, you will be able to refer to your journal if you forget things. Also, be sure to interview her relatives and friends.

Answer 9

Im sorry for your loss. You will never forget your mom. Just think about the good tmes you had together when she was alive. All the material things of course meant alot to you,,,but as long as you keep her in your heart and know shes watching over you,things will be ok.

Answer 10

I lost both of my parents. I agree with the last posts..start writing a journal (her favorite sayings, favorite recipes you can remember, things you did together, even down to her favorite perfume or music).
I can assure you that no matter how old you are when you loose a parent, you still feel like an orphan. It is difficult but it gets much, much easier with time... trust me.
Good luck and take care of yourself!