Does any one know any good blonde jokes?

Question

my friend and i are having a competition of who can tell a funnier blonde joke.

if so, can you type them in?

Answer 1

what do you call a blonde with 2 brain cell? PREGNANT

Answer 2

One blonde was walking down the street, and saw another blonde sitting in a row boat, about 10 feet away. The thing is, there was no water around the row boat, but the blonde was still rowing. So the second blonde stood on a park bench in front of the dry pond, and shouted: "What are you doing out there? Don't you know that it's things like this that give us blondes a bad name? If only I knew how to swim I would come out there and kick yoour butt!"

There were 3 girls. A blonde, a red head, and a brunette. They were all stranded on an island. So they each decided to swim off the island back to New York. So, first the red head went, and made it 10 miles before drowning. The brunette went 15 miles, and couldn't take much more, so she just let herself float to the bottom of the ocean floor. Then the blonde went, and made it to only 50 feet away from New York, so she could see the Statue of Liberty. But then, she felt a cramp in her leg, and started to feel tired, so she turned around and swam back to the island.

I hope I helped. I know a lot more, but I'll post some more later.

Answer 3

: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Answer 4

yea ...
1) did u hear about the blonde who bought an a.m radio it took her two week s to find out u could play it at night!!
2)how do u confuse a blonde?
put her in a round room and tell her to go to the corner
3)how does a blonde kill a fish?
she drowns it
4) 2 blondes were ina parking lot trying to unlock the door to theyre mercedes w/ a coat hanger and 1 blonde said hurry its starting to rain and the top is down!!
5)y do blondes have TGIF written on there shoes?
Toes Go In First
6)y does it take longer to make a blonde snowman?
cuz u have to make the head hollow.
7)a guy is outside watering his plants and his neighbir (blonde) walks outside and looks in her mailbox and walks bak into her house and then does the same thing 5 min later but seems irritated and does that again 5 min later and then agian and finally the guy asks(neighbor) is there a problem and then blonde says my computer keeps telling me i've got mail!!!
and you could go on google and type in blonde jokes and get find a good website.....wel hope this helped and hope u win!! ok bye LUCK

Answer 5

A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guy yells to the bartender: "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?' A deathly silence transcends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next to him says: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with a black belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind man pauses to think, and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Answer 6

I sure can. Here it is:
A blond was walking along,and she saw a brunette jumping up and down chanting "21 21 21 21" the blond asked her why she was doing so. The brunette replied with "21 21 21 21" the blond got annoyed and asked again. She got the same answer. The blond got mad and started arguing with the brunette who just kept saying"21" over and over again. After awhile a train came and hit the blond, and the brunette said: "22 22 22 22".
^_^ there u go! hopefully u haven't herd that one yet.

Answer 7

There was Santa Clause,The Toothfairy, the smart blonde and a dumb blonde on the sidewalk. On the ground there was a 100 dollar bill which one picked it up?

None, Santa,the toothfairy and the smart blonde aren't real and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper. LOL


P.S. the smart blonde does exist though just part of the time

Answer 8

a blonde was having trouble putting a puzzle together so she called her boyfriend. He asked what picture the puzzle was supposed to be. she said it was supposed to be a tiger. He came over a little while later and told her, first, you have to put the frosted flakes back in the box.

a blonde never rode a horse before. she finally went on one, dressed in riding gear, ready to go. She's starting out fine until she started to lose her grip. half of her body is hitting the ground, up and down. she desperately calls for help while bob, the walmart greeter rushes over and pulls out the plug

Answer 9

Go to http://www.ask.com/web?q=blonde+jokes&qsrc=0&o=0&l=dir&sugreqs=6 to read billions of funny blonde jokes!!!

Here's some examples:
1) One day a blonde hits a truck from behind. The guy steps out and draws a circle on the road, tells her to stand in the circle and not to step out. So the guys starts messin' with her car. He breaks her windsheld, she laughs. He turns around an says, "what's so funny?" She says, "nothing." He turns back around mad that she's laughing, so he starts keying her car. She laughs harder. So he turns back around an says, "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" She says, "nothing, nothing." The guy is getting madder so he slits her tires. She's laughing so hard she can't breathe. The guys says, "what is so funny? The blonde says, "While you where turned around I stepped out of the circle 3 times"....


2)There was a blonde and a brunette walking through the woods. The brunette looks down and said, "oh my gosh there's a dead bird!" The blonde looks up and says, "where?"


3) There was a blonde, a brunette and a redhead who were all news reporters going to iraq.

One day the 3 of them got captured by a group of terrorists and were going to be executed the next day.

(next day)

The terrorists put the redhead first in the middle of a circle of men with lots of guns. Scared as hell she thought I have a perfect idea. The commander said "ready...aim..." then the redhead blurts out "tornado tornado tornado!" They all scattered out and she ran away.

They come back aput put the brunette in the circle. "Ready...aim..." With quick thinking she blurts out "earthquake earthquake earthquake!" They all scattered and she got away.

The terrorists return once more and put the blonde in the circle. "Ready... aim..." The blonde, seeing the other reporters schemes, says, "fire fire fire."


4)

Answer 10

Just look in the mirror



that would have been so much funnier if you were a blonde
so forget it

Answer 11

www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

www.northvalley.net/jokes/jokes/jokesblonde.shtml

www.blonde-jokes.info

www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml

www.smilejokes.com





Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?

A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.