I was recently cheated on. I know he is sorry, but he betrayed me and broke my trust. How can he earn that back? Do I give him another chance? Is it possible for him to really have changed as much as he says he has? He confessed everything to his priest face to face. He sat down and told his parents what he did face to face along with his brother and sister. He has taken full responsibility for his actions and is going to counseling to help understand and conquer what he did. Can I ever trust him again even though he says that he is truly the one person in the world that I can trust the most now? Has he truly learned his lesson?
2006-11-30 12:51:25 · 25 answers · asked by saranacstudiosiraq 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Definately! Usually, to unfaithfulness the answer WOULD be no. But it seems like he has a problem that he had identified, and he is seeking help for himself so he could be with you. Definately stay with this man. There is a very high chance of you finding someone else who will be unfaithful as well, but an even fewer chance of someone that is willing to do this to stop.
2006-11-30 12:54:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from someone who used to cheat....
When I was younger, I cheated on a number of boyfriends - I was drunk every time and never thought at the time how much it would hurt the guy I was with (having said that, I only got caught once).
Moving forward, I have now been with a guy for over 3 years and not once have I cheated on him or even looked at another guy like that. I love him so much and I think that when you are happy with someone and feel secure, happy and emotionally satisfied in a relationship, there is no need to look elsewhere.
I do believe that you should give your boyfriend another chance. People make mistakes and he is at least facing up to this mistake!
Warning - don't continuously remind him that he cheated on you (and don't become a green jealous monster). He has apologised, owned up to his mistake and has made a sincere promise to you. The only way to move forward is to get over the past. Having said that, he needs to appreciate that he hurt you and that wounds can take a long time to heal.
Good luck xox
2006-11-30 13:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by Pondering Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't always true that when someone cheats that they will do it again. That is the common theory that most people think. There are people out there who have cheated once or twice in their lives, and learned from it and will never do it again. The whole" once a cheater always a cheater" has come from people who ar scorned and hurt by the scarf of love, and will say that cause they now hate cheaters. If you love the man, I am going to say give him another chance. People aren't perfect, and us men....welll.. not even close, we can be stupid, and ignorant to others emotions because lets face it .....we are men.
2006-11-30 12:56:36 · answer #3 · answered by EternalBlueMemory 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, you know there are so many partners out there that would never cheat. and gosh maybe he will never cheat again, then again maybe he will. And is it really about did he learn his lesson? If he is in a relationship, this is not a test. OHHHH, you can trust him now, did he never say trust in the before. So is this test, for you or is it for him. if, you stay with him, 20 yrs. down the road you will remember this, I'm sorry its permanently embedded into your brain, it will not go away. and its not weather you can trust....it's weather you chose to forgive him. and live with it and move on, it's not easy. to be honest....that *the one person in the world that ....trust* that sends a big red flag up.....scary.....
2006-11-30 13:05:43 · answer #4 · answered by tgdjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only tell by his actions if he has changed. Its alright for him to say he has changed but has he really. I am sorry but I think you are the only one that can make your mind up about cause in the end you will be responsible for what happens.
You have to make a choice on whether you think you deserve that treatment with him being sorry or not. Of course he is going to be sorry he probably slept with a skank and your a princess. It's his own stupid fault and nothing you did could ever be the blame for him cheating.
2006-11-30 12:56:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
weither or not his trust is earned back is 100% up to you, no one here can tell you when he's earned it back. and as far as him taking responsiblity on his wrong actions it depends on who he is and how well he did on being responsible. sometimes a player type of guy will try and be responsible if he can "get some" as a reward, but if this guy is in reality too good to be true and took responsibility for his actions and is truely and deeply sorry AND is in love with you then you should forgive him (but in time, however long it takes for him to earn back your trust) guys like him are hard to come by. but i'd recomend being a little more careful with him. i hope that helps and i wish you the best!
~slacker
2006-11-30 13:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by santaz_lil_slacker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but it will take time...for you to trust him. They say it takes about 3-5 years for the trust to be built back up. Sounds like he is truely remorseful and is trying anything and everything to make things right. Watch his actions...they will tell you if he's being faithful or not...Good luck to you...to the both of you!
2006-11-30 12:55:08 · answer #7 · answered by SoCalBeachGal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody has the capacity of changing. However, you have doubts about him and that is what is important. You cannot control his actions, only your own.
If you don't trust him then you need to make a decision about the relationship. He has betrayed you, so you don't own him another chance. It's all up to you.
2006-11-30 12:54:46 · answer #8 · answered by Laughing Libra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy that you are talking about sounds like could change.if hes going to counselling and has talked to priest and he says hes sorry maybe give him another chance if you still want to be with him.but you might get hurt again.but if you love him then its worth the risk.thats my opinion.but also some guys dont change even if they say the have.i wish you the best!good luck!
2006-11-30 12:56:59 · answer #9 · answered by roxygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ugh, i am going through the SAME exact situation rite now. it's so confusing! it's like, you know you really love the person but you hate what they did. i'm seriously considering giving my ex another chance. you know people do make mistakes and they deserve second chances, we only have one life to live ya know. and it seems like he is truly sorry and is doing everything in his power to try and cope with this situation. i would be slightly cautious, i mean, we have feelings too, but i would give him another chance when you're ready.
2006-11-30 12:56:35 · answer #10 · answered by crzyhottie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋