how can i create peace with my mom?

Question

im am a 13 year old boy
i always talk back and i cant help it
i get mad her quite quickly
she annoys me like every 2 minutes: do this do that
ahhhh its driving me crazy!!

Answer 1

I have a little story that I love to tell young boys such as your self. One Sunday a couple of years ago I read an obituary in our Sunday paper and for some reason there was one that really caught my eye, and when I read it I started crying, and that's not a common thing for a 60 year old man to do. The story that the obituary told was of a young boy, such as yourself, that was twelve years old when he joined the U.S. navy. This young boy served on three different destroyers during the second world war, all of which were sunk by enemy ships, and the last time his ship was sunk he spent three days floating in the middle of the ocean waiting to be rescued. By the time that he was 18 he had served our country for 6 years, and now tonight I come to YH answers and the very first question that I choose to answer is from some cry baby little boy that has nothing better to do then bad mouth his mom and whine about how she drives him crazy, so to answer your question of how you can create peace between you and your mother I will tell you that first you need to apologize to her for being a brat, and then you need to do some serious growing up.

Answer 2

To make peace, you must lean patience. This is not an easy thing and takes a lot of practice.

First you should start by taking a good look at just what she is asking you to do. Are these things you should have done and did not, like cleaning your room, chores, etc.? If they are, you could scare the heck out of her by getting them done before she asks.

You also need to sit down and talk to mom and tell her first, that you love her, you want to be good around her, but because she bugs you so often, your temper takes over, and last, you want to work it out with her so you can make her happy and not feel pressured all the time.

You can only give this a try, it will then be up to mom to do her part and work with you to make it possible. In life, you do your part and do your best, others may or may not go along.

Also remind mom that you need some time of your own where you don't get bugged by her unless it is an emergency. The key to the whole thing is give and take. You give some, you take some.

By the way, it is pretty normal for a 13 year old to be rebellious. It is a time when you are starting to feel like you should be able to decide what you should have to and not have to do.

Unfortunately, you still have a bunch of learning to do before you are ready to be turned loose on the world. Use this opportunity to learn so you will be ready. Interestingly, not many 13 year olds can see there is a problem and want to do something about it. I'm proud of you.

Answer 3

Well Ive raised my own kids and I have grandchildren your age,so hopefully I can give you a different perspective.Most good parents want there children to be great kids and maybe even be a teacher or an astronaut or maybe even a President.Most of what we ask of our kids is similar to how we were raised.That's what we know in our minds,especially if it worked for us.WE don't have a manual to look at as we try to make our kids responsible,honest ,trustworthy young adults.If your Mom is after you to do your chores clean your room etc. always try to have things like this done before she can ask,and you will be amazed how different she will treat you.We have 11 grandchildren and we are so proud of how our children are raising them.That's when you really know if how you raised your kids was right.I hope this helps a little.Good luck son.

Answer 4

What u are going through is normal.But u need to get a grip on your emotions.If u don't u will really hurt her.You must remember that she loves u and only wants the best for u.You should maybe calmy sit down and talk to her one on one. Tell her that u know u talk back but she just makes u blow it.Tell her u need her help in making things right and if she can stop and name the things that annoy u.Plus apologize to her for the things u said and ask her if u both can start fresh.I mean really what do u have to lose.Good luck

Answer 5

Welcome to being a teenager. Best thing to do is to breathe and count to ten. If you're still frustrated don't take it out on her. Play some video games or find something to break (something that's already junk like a broken stereo system, don't go around throwing plates or anything). If you feel like she's been unfair about something, wait until you aren't mad anymore to bring it up to her, and do it in a calm constructive manner. Don't come in with accusations, because people tend to get offensive, even if they know they were in the wrong. See how she reacts to you talking to her like an adult. Most parents see it as a sign of respect and will try to accomodate you if you are being reasonable. It all depends on what kind of parent your mother is. Good luck.

Answer 6

Perhaps it's only annoying to you because you know what she's going to ask/say before she even asks. And maybe you would like more responsiblities to do whatever you want when you want? And of all people YOU know that you are now becoming more mature & old enough to want and need more respect for responsibilities. And when you become an adult the only way you'll ever receive respect is by earning it...not by back talking but by taking care of your own responsibilities. Yeah it sucks having to hear her bug you ever 2 minutes but you have to understand her side of it. She's your mom she wants to know that you'll come to her when you REALLY truly need her...like an emergency, etc. Trust me WE ALL (even adults) hate doing what others tell us to. The idea is to give respect in order to receive it.
Also look at this way if say she works then she deals with basically strangers all day who only give her half the respect for doing her responsibilities at work. And if she stays at home then she is biding her time until you do become an adult to learn how the process of responsibility and respect works. Don't wait, prove to your mom that you can be easy to get along with..do the chore before she asks...after all I'm sure you know the "do this, do that" is coming and that it's probably worth doing in order to get along. It's unfortunate that we all seem to treat strangers better than we do our own family members...but a stranger is never there or who we turn to in our time of need.
Yes you could say that everyone here agrees that it's normal for you to be a bit "moody" or prejudice against her at 13 y/o..though it's not really a valid excuse. But you know I think your mom is really just looking for a TINY bit of respect and appreciation, after all she has taken care of you since...well all your life, right? Think of it this way..have you ever gone with out a meal, a warm bed, clothes BECAUSE of your mom? It most likely hurts her feelings to have you talk back at her time after time again....wouldn't it hurt yours if someone you really cared about did???

Answer 7

Simple answer to this question. Saying your mother annoys you is a problem. A time out is not a bad idea. Time outs are not punishment. When you feel like you are about to talk back, go do something else like in your room until you can talk to her normally. That is listen to music or go outside. Once you start showing mom respect I am sure you will gain respect. Accept that you have a part in this too. Have to show respect to get respect, That life.

Answer 8

All boys ur age get mad at their mom's. yes it is hard not to talk back. before u do try to count to ten or take a deep breath. one way to make ends with ur mom is to ask her to sit down and have a talk about things. let her know how u feel and ask her if there is a way u can work things out. remember u only have 1 mom. and she will always be there for u no matter what. just go to ur room and think about what u would like to talk to her about. it might not be easy at first but u should let ur mom know how u feel and what is going on. then the both of u can work things out. it would be easier that way before things get way out of hand. Good Luck. Hope u will be able to talk to ur mom.

Answer 9

If you do those things before she tells you to,you won't have to worry about her telling you to do them every 2 min.Whether you like it or not,it is your responsibility to do your chores without being told to do them.And talking back is just plan Disrespectful.Your the son,she is your Mother.You should have a lot more respect for her than you do.You won't be 13 forever,and the things she is telling you to do will some day come in handy when your old enough to be out on your own.The right thing to do is to just shut your mouth and do as she tells you..

Answer 10

Tell her you feel bad when you talk back but it happens and you have trouble controlling it. TALK to each other! Maybe you can come to an agreement with issues that cause the flare ups. Try to be friends! I lost one of my sons when he was almost 19. We TALKED about everything, even sex and stuff. We were best friends and we were really close. I miss him so much and I wish he was alive still. He was mouthy, but he got it honest. He loved me and I never doubted it, even if we had a disagreement. No 2 people can agree on everything all the time.