My boyfriend watches porn?

Question

My boyfriend watches porn, and it irritates me soo much. I hate porn, i think it is harsh and unreal. And i hate that i alone can't satisfy my boyfriend. It does make me jealous that he is getting off while fantisizing about other women. I've talked to him about it MANY times, and i've told him that it really hurts my feelings, and that it turns me off to him. I've tried suggestions like making our own photos and videos, but it doesn't help. He's even watched porn while i was in the next room sleeping. It is not as much as it used to be, but it still bugs me. I don't want to hear "men watch porn, it doesn't mean anything" I want to know if i should be upset that he watches porn even though he knows it really hurts me. I don't know what to do, because he doesn't stop, and i can't stop caring about it. I have a hard time just ignoring it.

I know it's better than him going out and cheating, and i'm getting Better at dealing with it, but i just can't Not hate it.

I've tried to change for him, i've tried watching it with him, i tried not caring, but i CAN'T not care....

Answer 1

To tell your the truth.. This is comming from a man who knows... I lost the love of my lifetime due to jsut dirty pictures off the internet. It ruined my entire life and I lost everything do to it. So yes, you have every right in the worl to be upset with him. If the guy is watching porn then he is pretty much saying to you that you are ugly and cant satisfy him. A man that watches a lot of porn more than likley when you two are having sex he is thinking about the woman on tv and snot seeing the true "REAL" beauty that was right in front of his face... But yea Porn pics ruined my ******* lif and now I wont even as much as even look at a bkini pick. We arent togetehr anymore but still I have to learn from my mistakes and anything I can do to not make mistakes... But you have every right in the world to be upset. What you need to do is tell him if he doesnt stop watching the porn his *** is going to be out the damn door... Seriously... I got ******* put out ove rhta bull **** and well just tell him from my experience a picture can be replaced... I true "REAL" love like I had can not be... So think about that... I mean it... Tell him

Answer 2

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Answer 3

This is a rather complicated situation. However, it's made simpler by the fact that he's a boyfriend and not a husband.

If a guy watches porn and doesn't know you're upset by it, then that's an issue of bad communication. If he finds out you hate it and stops, good for you. If he finds out you hate it a merely hides it, that's not so good. If he finds out you hate it and does it openly anyway, he's an @sshole.

In that first situation, no one is to blame. The second and third situations come down to a complete lack of respect for your feelings. He knows where you stand, and does what he wants with an utter lack of regard for what you may feel or think. Best thing you can do for yourself is to move on. He may be great in every other respect, but he does NOT respect your feelings. Actions speak louder than words, and in this case, his actions are sending a big F.U.

Give him a final chance if you want, an ultimatum if you will. For some guys they'll choose the other option just to spite you. For others, it might work. But don't your boyfriend's obsession with porn ruin YOUR chance for a happy relationship. Don't give him that opportunity.

Besides, by this point he's probably so desensitized to women's feelings from all the porn he's watching, that he figures you don't matter and you're only as good as the blowjobs/anal/sexual act(s) you provide him with. But, unlike the women in his porn, you ARE worth more than a mouth, two hands, and two holes.

Ditch the loser and find someone who will respect you.

Answer 4

I am actually going through the same thing right now...I dont even get mad about it, it just makes me really upset. First, he said that he only looks at it like once a week, but I found out by being on his computer it was more than that. It is starting to effect our sex life because I feel (and it is the case) where he would rather look at porn and get off than be with me. I told my bf that I would do the same things as you, make our own movies, watch porn together anything to get him to WANT to WANT me. I told him that I dont find porn offensive but single guys who dont have a gf to do those things to,should be the only ones looking at it. This was all a few days ago, so I cant really tell you how thats working out but my bf said he would give it a try. Maybe you should tell your boyfriend that it really hurts you and if he really loved you, he wouldnt want to look at porn and hurt you. I'm sorry for what you are going through, I am still going through it too. I love my guy so much he said he would try his best, and I will take that for now. You could always install a porn filter for online, but that may be extreme. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I completely understand how you feel. But, and I hope this makes you feel better, he doesn't like those women more than you. Those women are fake, they are girls he could never get in real life and men quite obviously have an overactive sex drive and it is just fun for them to be able to fantisize about it. I'm sure he wouldn't actually ever think he could have crazy sex affairs like that. And as for him not listening to you, he sounds really insensitive. Obviously, he doesn't care too much about your feelings. Don't give him an ultimatium tho (stop or I'll break up with you) because the truth is he probably won't stop. Just tell him to not talk about it and definitly not watch it around you and try to put it out of your mind. If he can't do that, it would seem as tho he is walking all over you and I know how much that hurts.

Answer 6

Your boyfriend needs to chill on the porn, for good. Not all men watch it. I don't. My brother doesn't. My cousin doesn't. My father doesn't. As far as I know, none of the men in my family watch porn, at least not on a regular basis, and every last one of us is a ''macho'' type. If your boyfriend needs porn, something's wrong with *him*, not you. It has nothing to do with the way you look or the way you feel about yourself. As someone said, it's a mental addiction. It's a problem with his mind, with his power of self control. He can control his thoughts, but he chooses not to. Talk to him about it, but don't nag. Let him know you feel uncomfortable with him watching porn all the time, and that you want him to stop, but try to do so calmly, without starting a fight. Your self esteem is your issue, and yours alone. You need to learn to value yourself, and not to rely on what anyone else thinks of you. At the same time, you may be able to let your boyfriend know that this is something you're trying to work on. Ask him for help. Maybe he could compliment you a little more often. Maybe he could try to be a little more supportive than he is. But ultimately, it's on you. You're worth more than you realize to a lot more people than you probably think. Now you- and you alone- have to realize that. Peace, Drew

Answer 7

There is an interesting self help eBook available on the net: Author Mario Brocallo presumes that watching porn is not necessarily connected to sexual topics ...

Answer 8

you can install NetDog Porn Filter

Answer 9

the fact that he does it and it upsets you, and he knows it upsets you is a problem.......how ever i have to say, and its some thing you dont want to hear, but its a fact - porn is just fantasy, if you really feel like you cant sit and enjoy it with him (like many many couples do) and you know he really likes it, then maybe he's not for you, why should he change for you? you obviously wont change for him.....

Answer 10

Thats messed up. If you told me you would make a movie or take pics, it would have been lights camera action.