it's been a month since my boyfriend broke up with me and i'm still struggling through this breakup because i loved him, well actually i still do love him which is why it's so hard to get over him...i think he will always be a part of me no matter what but how can i move on with my life? what should i do? should i talk to him? he said when he broke up with me that he still wants to be friends but i can't handle JUST being friends with him cause ever since i met him i liked him so i've NEVER been JUST friends with him..when he told me he still wants to be friends i said i can't handle being friends with him...what should i do? my best friend thinks i'm over reacting and that i should be over him by now so i feel like i can't talk to her about it...who can i talk to so i can get some of my feelings out? i really need your help! please no mean or rude answers!
2006-11-30 11:11:48 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey, I know just how you feel. There are some men in this life that just take a long, long time to get over. I'm sorry this happened to you. Try an online help group, or write your feelings out. DO talk about your feelings, DO get out there and meet new people, and know that there are many others, just like me, who are going through the same thing. I don't think you're overreacting. You've been traumatized and it takes time to heal.
2006-11-30 11:15:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the 'just friends' thing. It's a rarity anyone ever truly means that, and even more rare for someone to actually put effort into that. It's merely a sentence used to soften the blow, and make the person on the receiving end of the breakup, feel some self-worth.
That out of the way, there's not much you can do (unfortunately) to speed the recovery process. There are several bonehead things you could do to mask your emotions, but ALL of them will wind up making it harder in the long-run, though in the moment they'll seem to help. Avoid stupid things you wouldn't usually do.
Friends are great for support, but we all get tired, bored, and frustrated with hearing the same stuff over and over. It's lame that we're all like this, but it's often true.
If you can't suck it up and get past this on your own, you still need support. Try a different friend, just let them know you need to vent or talk, but don't bog them down. Try your parents (oddly enough). If both of those options have been excercised to their fullest, try a local support group. This option may actually help the most, because there are people who are going through the same thing. This allows you to relate to them better, and move forward. Even when friends want to help, there's very little - if anything - that they can do, unless YOU can relate to THEM in that situation.
2006-11-30 11:24:00 · answer #2 · answered by MantisDream 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say it takes half the time of your relationship to fully be over your ex. So if you went out for a year it would take you 6 months. But, it all depends on the person. I believe that at first you can't be friends with someone your in love with after a break up. And I know that's the one thing we all want but its so hard and in the run it makes it that much harder. Not sure how old you are or if this is your first break up. But a broken heart is no fun. I was with my ex for 5 yrs and it took me almost 2 years to be fully over him and almost 3 years to be able to hang out with him again. At the start I tried to be friends with him but I find myself leaving every time crying more. For a whole year there wasn't a day that I didn't cry. It takes time, talk about with people, write about it. People will give you so much advice but your the one that has to be ready to listen. And when your truly over him you'll realize that everything everyone told you was true. But you just have to be ready and everyone is different so everyone will move on from a broken heart at different times. And remember everything happens for a reason
2006-11-30 11:25:50 · answer #3 · answered by HLyn1681 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only been a month. You're being too hard on yourself sweetie.
You need to give yourself time to heal from this, and please let me tell you from experience, you should cut off contact with him at this time until(or if) you get to the point where you think you can handle being JUST his friend.
As far as your friend goes, she doesn't feel what you're feeling, so she doesn't get it right now.
Just know that you CAN move on and you will feel better. It takes nothing but time. There is no magic pill to take to get over someone. I wish there was, I could have used them a couple times myself.
Listen to music that makes you feel better, be around ppl who are supportive of you and not judging you, go out and do things to stay occupied. It will get better.
Good luck.
2006-11-30 11:18:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be friends with him if you have feeling for him. My recommendations are taking time for yourself. Do not focus so much on the problem...let it go. I bet you are beautiful, smart and have many goals in life...if he doesn't want you I bet there are 10 other guys that do want you.
Listen to these tips below:
1.) Work on getting over him ( no negative thought...just let it go)
2.) Spend lots of time with Family & Friends (keep distracted)
3.) Keep yourself busy (do hobbies, exercise, ect)
4.) Think Positive (laugh, watch funny movies, clips, stuff)
5.) Do not date anyone until you are soooo over your ex (I made the mistake of doing this and it only creates more problem...trust me)
It normally takes more than a month to get rid of love...and even then you won't ever stop loving him...you just need to learn how to move on...time is all it takes...be patient...think positive...and SMILE...things could be a lot worst...but they are not.
BEST WISHES TO YOU!!!
2006-11-30 11:20:42 · answer #5 · answered by Bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take months It seen like you still have feeling for him I'm sorry to hear that but you need to move on and wait before you start dating again you need to find something to do with your time take a vacation meet other people what do you really you really want to do well do it, go back to school find something good to do write about you and your, use to be lover .and if you made any mistake you need to think about when you first meet him what was the first thing you did and you would never do again. it take time
2006-11-30 11:20:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey go have some fun with some friends just don't do something u'll regret. If you love him then you already know what guy type you will marry and wait on him. If you can't love yourself and take of your self then how can you love another person. I had this problem with my finance and he loved porn more and i said take a hike and left it was hard yes but i want a man to love me and not porn or my body and faith.
2006-11-30 11:15:53 · answer #7 · answered by melony f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The average time to get over a break up is 3 months. Hang in there, you can do it. See/do things with your friends. It's tough, but you can do it.
2006-11-30 11:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by Vanity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o k well dont talk to your parents they make it worse and they have no idea how it works these days(dating i mean) since you cant talk to your friend then talk stright to the guy and say i cant handle just being friends i was wondering if we could get back together.......but if you dont want to then that is ok too.....and if he says yes then you have nothing to worry about .....if he says no then try to find another bf............... but the first thing you have to do is get the boy out of your mind and move his things out of your heart................ that is the first step if you dont do this you could screw up your next relationship by thinking of him all the time ....................another thing you could do as a last resort ...........is fake date a guy that your "lover" hates and act like you like him ......like kiss him around the guy and say that could have been you and hopefully he will come back and if he does then the guy you have been fake dating( well call it ) tell the guy you are nice but i want to break up.......... but if he dosent then get over him and move on ..............................andso i hope you take this advice and apply it to your situation and i hope i helped....tell me if it works e mail me to tell me if you want
2006-11-30 11:32:29 · answer #9 · answered by CrippledFingerz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe if he sees you doing fine without him, he will start looking at u again. if he sees u lookin all sad and wantin him, he grows an ego, if he sees u smilin laughin, n confident, but still nice n civil with him, he will grow an interest. follow me here, i'm serious, it makes a world of difference in how u act, it's always in the personality.....remember those words always in all things.
2006-11-30 11:18:17 · answer #10 · answered by harmonieclark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋