First off, I want to say that I love my mother-in-law. Anyway, It is my daughter's 4th birthday this coming Sunday and my mother-in-law decided to plan a babyshower for my sister in law for the same weekend we had planned our daughters birthday. I thought this was very rude as the baby isn't due until late February. Couldn't they have had this shower after Christmas, since they have the time still? I bit the bullet and decided to have her party on a Sunday at noon. Now my mother-in-law has planned on being in a parade that day and time. I told my husband that I thought this was just to spite me for telling her how I felt about the babyshower. He told me to proceed as planned and let his mother know that it was her business to decide which event she would like to attend, but that we would not change the time, date or place of our daughters birthday to accomadate her, as it is our daughter's birthday.
Am I out of line for feeling this way, or proceeding without her?
2006-11-30 10:52:57 · 18 answers · asked by Mrs. Wizard 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You're not out of line. You rescheduled once, to accomodate her, and if she wants to do something else, that's fine, let her. This birthday is for your daughter, not for your mother in law. I'm very glad to hear your husband supports you in this situation. It's your mother in laws choice to attend. I've been through the very same situation 1.5 months ago, on my daughter's bday. My mother in law didn't make it, and that's not my problem. She can face the questions from my daughter as to why she wasn't there. You can't change her.
I also concur, that sometimes they push you to see if they can get under your skin and upset you. Let it slide. Be cool, and focus on your baby.
2006-11-30 11:09:38 · answer #1 · answered by nlacey0101 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh my if I only had a dollar for all the times my mother n law tried that crap.. Girl have your baby's party have fun and make it a point to boast on the good time and the wonderful gift your mother got your daughter. She will twinch with anger than you just smile and say I wish you could have been there, but I know the parade to you was more important than your grand daughters 4th birthday that she only has once. Smile.
2006-11-30 19:00:39 · answer #2 · answered by sftbllr4lf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plan your daughter's party to accommodate "your" family and don't worry about your mother-in-law.
You may be a bit "sensitive", maybe your mother-in-law didn't plan the baby shower with the intention of ruining your party. Let it go, it's not worth an argument. Be the bigger person and enjoy your daughter's birthday!
Good luck.
2006-11-30 19:35:21 · answer #3 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well happy birthday to your little one. the baby might come early, you could never tell.well have your child birthday party as plan and as her mother make sure that is the best birthday party she will every have .sometime family change plan so don't get mad just have your child birthday party and have a great time it's all about her and her little friend.
2006-11-30 19:05:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you would be in the right position to feel upset, but dont let it carry out and ruin the rest of your relationship with your mother in law. listen to your husband follow your plans as you made them. have a great time. this is for your daughter! all you can do is let your mother in law know when and where and let her make her decision.
dont let your mother in law put you in a bad mood, maybe she is going through something as well? brush her off and move on. you have your life to worry about and lil ones to help grow.
2006-11-30 19:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by bjperez07 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother in law sounds like a rude woman in general, otherwise she would not have gone out of her way to try and plan a shower the same weekend her granddaughter was having her birthday party. Do not allow your daughter to have much contact with this woman, because it seems to me she may have something against your daughter. (like she views her as a smaller version of you) No other grandma in her right mind who loved her grand child, would pull a stunt like this.
2006-11-30 18:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by Bonzai Betty 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not at all, your mother in law is being petty....in the long run it is your daughter that will remember that grandma isn't there and I'm sure your daughter will have questions for her as to why she wasn't there and make her feel like crap....
2006-11-30 19:02:58 · answer #7 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a great husband! What a good man to step up like that! Good job, honey!
Ok, I agree with him totally, don't do anything else because yes, this is your baby girl's party and you'll have it no matter what she decides to do! She's the one being petty and she may live to regret this! Stick to your guns!
2006-11-30 18:56:16 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are out of line at all. I would proceed as planned and put it all behind you.Hope your daughter has a very nice party.
2006-11-30 19:06:09 · answer #9 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope, you are 100% correct. Don't cater to this woman; if you step up now, you'll probably have a LOT less problems in the future. You're doing a great job, keep at it.
: )
2006-11-30 18:57:00 · answer #10 · answered by Ade 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋