my husband's ex has been sending him emails that he didn't want me knowing about. I found out and now he's mad. he says he just don't want her pissed (he's got a 15yr. old kid with her) they haven't wanted nothing to do with him until recently after he settled on child support. I think they just want more money. btw she is a homewrecker the man she's with was married when they started going out.
2006-11-30 10:43:09 · 24 answers · asked by kimmycat 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
btw we have 4 kids together, have been together just over 15yrs. he is my first and only.
2006-11-30 12:10:42 · update #1
no, it's not normal and it's not right for him to secretly be in contact with his ex. and it's not normal for him to get mad at you for finding out. I would be getting to the bottom of this. and fast. he needs to tell you why in the world he's been talking to her behind your back! I understand that they have a child together, and I understand that he needs to help support his child. but the child is fifteen years old! if the child needs something, he/she is old enough to call and talk to their dad.
the only reason I would think that your husband and his ex would need to talk would be about their child. school, grades, sickness, etc. and that should never be kept from you. honestly, what's to hide about that sort of thing? I can't help but think he may be trying to hide more than e-mail from you. you need to confront this man. he has a lot of explaining to do.
I wish you the best.
2006-11-30 11:06:44 · answer #1 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-07 19:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something about the trust thing? I think that it breaks the trust if one person is communicating secretly. I have always thought that once the trust was gone the relationship is gone. But it sounds like your husband for some reson is not comfortable sharing with you that part of his life. Is it normal? I guess the answer would have to be yes. Each of us holds onto secrets, even marriage does not break through that wall. I can't say that it is right, but I can recongize that someone sounds like he is trying to spare your feelings and keep you from being mad.
2006-11-30 14:47:47 · answer #3 · answered by Sergeant 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Secretly - not so cool... as partners he should be talking with you about his ex, and her pestering.
Talk to him about it. At the same time - how did you find out about it? Not to be a poo, but you seem to be watching him behind his back, which isn't a good sign either.
I think the two of you should sit down and have a talk... he seems to have earned your distrust - which is a bad thing.
In an intimate relationship - there are always private things, but there should never be anything that makes one another doubt the honesty of the relationship.
Good luck... I wish you both well. What you're going through isn't easy.
-dh
2006-11-30 10:49:56 · answer #4 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you need to back off! They have a child together! Don't even think about standing in the way of them being able to communicate when they are PARENTS together! I don't care if she hasn't been involved in the child's life in the past or not. There is a possibility that she can be now. You have the power to destroy that relationship between parent and child, and that would make you an evil woman if you did.
You need to make sure he understands that you will not get immature and jealous about him talking to her, but that he needs to be open and honest with you, not sneaking around behind your back. And you need to not give him any reason to feel like he has to sneak.
You can do this! Be an adult and handle this properly.
Caitlyn gave an awesome answer on this! Obviously you don't like her and you want to sabatoge her and ruin her. We don't even know her and you're trying to damage her reputation with us! I hate to think of what your husband has to put up with! That's probably why he's sneaking.
2006-11-30 10:49:40 · answer #5 · answered by lizardmama 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
that's not your concern just make sure that your man sees about his kid and let her know that you are the woman.
in the caribbean when a man had an outside child we just let it flow because if she gets pissed she will use any excuse to keep them from him . Show support but always remember that a dog does not change overnight. Watch and see and if you need to remind her to step back then do.
2006-11-30 10:51:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband communicates with his ex, but not secretly. I think that if someone hides something it means he understand it's wrong. You wouldn't hide anything unless you know that what you are doing is WRONG!!!!! What the heck is he hiding? May be he still not over her?
2006-11-30 10:46:54 · answer #7 · answered by Yana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's hiding it because he thinks that you can't handle him talking to her. If you trusted him, it wouldn't really matter if he was talking to her or not. It sounds like you don't like her and thats probably why he didnt tell you. If he has a child with her they will always be connected together and he has every right to stay in contact with her as he should.
You should say to him - "honey, if you want to talk to her, thats fine.I'm not mad because you are talking to her but because you hid it from me. I dont want to feel like you are hiding stuff from me. I dont want to have any secrets between us."
2006-11-30 10:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by Caitlin 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey your in a total dysfunctional relationship. You actually believe your husband 10 to 1 he's got a honey on the side. I give your marriage tops 6 months. Does it say loser central on your mailbox? It should
2006-11-30 10:50:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
No this is not normal, he is obviously hiding these emails for a reason, Now you need to find out what that reason is.
2006-11-30 10:45:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋