At our wedding, each of our guests is getting a 6 oz steak and chicken breast. I'm a vegan, so I will probably have pasta and tofu or something animal friendly like that. And my fiance thought he would just get a larger cut of steak and skip the chicken for himself. My parents think we are saying we're better than everyone else by eating something different. I say, "it's OUR DAY!" And besides, it's not like, we're feeding our guests the fried chicken and mashed potatoes buffet ya know? Any thoughts?
2006-11-30 10:31:15 · 33 answers · asked by prepschoolforeternity 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
[If it's your day then don't invite other people. You should not be making political statements on a wedding day.]
Wait? What the hell does this mean? lol
2006-11-30 10:38:25 · update #1
Thats absolutely crazy. The bride and groom can have a better meal than the guests. It is YOUR day remember. My buddy recently got married and he had steak and lobster for his meal - I was his best man so I had the same. The guests had chicken. Trust me - not one guest is going to whisper "did you see they have steak and lobster? They must think they are better than us..." Absurd!
2006-11-30 10:34:08 · answer #1 · answered by Mike 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, please don't ever use the logic "It's my day, I can do what I want." That is how bridezillas are created, and how a lot of people's feelings are hurt and offended by your actions. If you can't back up your decisions with more than "it's my day," then you're making the wrong decision.
Second, you having a vegan plate is fine, so long as you are offering vegan/vegetarian dishes for other guests. As for your fiance having a larger cut of steak and no chicken...that isn't okay. You should not get "special food" just because you're the bride or groom. Whatever you have is what everyone else should be given the option of having.
Why don't you include on the RSVP cards a place to request their meal? They can choose from chicken, a steak, or vegan. That way, you can have your vegan food, your husband can have his steak without chicken, and no one can complain that you're being pretentious.
2006-12-01 06:24:48 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not really sure why you would serve a steak and a chicken breast all in one meal - seems a bit much really - not sure if this a typical american thing. Here you have one kind of meat or main item and then veg with it - seems a bit wasteful and an odd combo. For being a vegan having something different is fine so long as that option is available to other guests. But just just get a larger steak and skip hlaf the food could be seen as a bit 'off'. But then I'm british and we do things differently.
2006-11-30 10:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by minotaur 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont' think anyone will notice anyways and I agree with you - it is your day. Your vegan, so they can't expect you to have steak and chicken now can they! lol Your friends and family shoudl understand this more than anyone. (Will there be a vegan or vegetarian choice available for others who share your views? That may be soemthing to consider and add.) Also, who's really going to be eyeing your grooms plate and seeing he has a larger steak than everyone else - seriously!
Just note, you may want to grab something quick to eat or pack a snack because I ate nearly nothing at my wedding!!!
Don't stress on the details. Every single wedding I've been to has been fun and turned out "perfect" - even if not exactly as planned! When you look back on this date 10 years from now, the food will be the last thing that mattered. You'll remember the smiles and tears, laughs and happiness.
2006-11-30 17:26:18 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question sounds pretentious, but once you've explained it, I don't think the situation is pretentious at all. For all your guests know, your then hubby could have asked for no chicken (how will they know he's got a bigger peice?). And in regards to your meal, it doesn't sound at all like you're telling your guests you're better than them. My guess is that most of them know you're a vegan, and also that most of them aren't. As a result, it's either a different meal for you, or a vegan meal for everyone. My guess is that they'll have more of a problem with the second option!
At my wedding my hubby and I decided on no alcohol (due to recovering alcoholics in the family), and one of my cousins kicked up a big stink about it and his whole family nearly didn't come as a result (this was the day before). I think do what you want to do. It's not like you're totally shunning you guests - you are looking after them.
Enjoy your day, and congratulations!
2006-11-30 14:06:49 · answer #5 · answered by * tj * 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is rude to consume something OF BETTER QUALITY in front of your guests, that they cannot have. Give them the vegan option and bigger steak as well, if that's what you want to eat! (What, your groom can't wait until the honeymoon to order whatever he pleases at a restaurant-- he has to eat a big steak in front of others at the wedding?)
Would you serve chicken kiev at the head table and cold cheese sandwiches for all the guests? No, of course not, that would be rude.
Would you serve Dom Perignon at the head table and 3-dollar fake champagne for all the guests? No, of course not, again, that would be RUDE.
These people are your GUESTS and you need to treat them with respect.
2006-12-02 14:15:47 · answer #6 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always suggest to my brides that they do offer other meal choices to their guests, as some others may be vegans also. You never know. Add it onto your RSVP cards. As for the larger steak, guests usually aren't looking at what the bride and groom are eating, the look to see if they are up dancing and having fun. Remember with all the party part you are the ones they look to.
2006-11-30 10:53:51 · answer #7 · answered by ebrinkleywc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a vegan you have to eat something other than meat, and I don't think non vegans would want a vegan meal. I don't think that people will even notice if your fiance has a larger steak. If I saw this at a wedding I wouldn't care, as long as my food is good. Good luck!
2006-11-30 11:12:29 · answer #8 · answered by MISS 84 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the bigger steak would look a little greedy to the guests, if they even noticed. As far as the vegan meal, that is fine. You should offer any of your guests that as an option, in case they prefer that over meat.
2006-11-30 10:33:03 · answer #9 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your wedding. Lets be honest, most people go to weddings to obtain the free meals anyway. Who gives a crap how they feel about the situation. You can eat whatever you want. You are making a huge change in your life and you deserve to do what you want. Now if the guest decide that they want to pay for their meal then they too should receive what they want. This is not a resturant it is a wedding they get what they get!
2006-11-30 10:35:02 · answer #10 · answered by dottie m 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋