Hello i am a girl who is 12 year of age. I had been with friends after school and one of them had some cigaretes she got from her mother. Well i know its not good to be smoking but both my friends did and so i did too and it was very gross and i not want to do it again. My friends never before have smoked i know either. But bad thing was my friend big sister find out and told on her and on us and we all get our parents called. My mother very antismokeing and she got very mad and my father did too and i told them all what happend and that id never do it again and i mean that! But still they mad and say i needed be punishing so i got spanked and that hurt ALOT and they say i may not ever play again with my friends who get me to do that. Is that fair? I am not so popular in school and my friends important to me and i dont want not ever see them again! How can i get parents to change they mind? I know i did bad thing but is it fair spank me and take my friends from me too!?!
2006-11-30 10:25:49 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This happened to me when I was 13. My parents gave me the anti-smoking talk and I got yelled at very badly. They also never let me see my friends again. Taking friends away doesn't stop smoking. I know you made a bad decision, but everyone has to make their own decision and feed their curiosity. I never really made good friends with anyone in high school after my parents decided to take mine away. When I come home from college, I don't really have much to do. My mom regrets her decision of taking my friends, because they really help your development into who you will become. None of those girls that i was banned from smoke today, and neither do I. It was not our punishments that kept us from smoking, it was our decision to live healthy. everyone must have their first cigarette at some point, and in my case, my first cigarette convinced me not to smoke. The spanking your parents gave you was appropriate, but stealing your childhood friends was not. They need to sit down with your friends parents and have a discussion on how to keep you out of trouble, not just cage you away from trouble. you are growing up and making decisions and your parents need to recognize that. If you are not allowed to make the right decision over the wrong now, you may never be able to.
2006-11-30 10:43:18 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie L 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie, it seems that you are influenced by your friends easily and your parents know it. They just don't want you be be around friends who will pressure you to do something they know is not right. Your parents want the best for you and they only spanked you because they have taught you better and they are just trying to get their point across that they have taught you right from wrong. It's ok not to be popular in school,everyone can't be popular,it's life, and you don't need friends to make you popular. I bet those popular kids are popular because of the wrong things and not what matters, which is education. Be popular and gain friends because you are smart and for being a leader and not a follower. I have a teenager and I know that they make mistakes or get curious at times, so bring up the fact that at least your friend's sister told and that's because she knows it's wrong and apparently your friends knew it was wrong but they just chose to make a wrong decision, at least their mom did call your parents, so that says a lot about their mom, because if she was an unconcerned mom she would have kept it to herself and overlooked it or something. So you could bring up those facts and maybe they will realize that it was a bad decision and that you did learn from it. Good Luck and Don't be following others when they are doing negatives things. You know better and your parents only want the best for you and for you to be your best. Understand them too, it's all a part of parenting. They will get over it, write them a sorry note.
2006-11-30 10:42:07 · answer #2 · answered by mskash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your parents know what is best for you. It may not seem fair right now but later in life you will thank them. Actually, you are very blessed to have parents who care. Too many times parents are too busy to care what their children do. Your are blessed that your parents care enough to discipline you.
I wanted to add that when you grow up you will still have rules you have to obey. If I don't obey my employers rules I will loose my job. If I'm driving and choose to disobey the speed limit I get a ticket, have to pay a fine, have to go to driver improvement class and if I get enough tickets, I will loose my license to drive. If I break other laws I may end up in jail and it wouldn't matter how sorry I was for what I had done I'd still have to serve my time in jail. And it also doesn't matter if I think a law is fair or not, I still have to pay the price for breaking that law.
*** I just had an idea.... What if you do some research and write a 10-15 page report on smoking and what it does to your body and why it is so bad and give it to your parents. ***
*** Another thought....I am sure that your parents remember what it's like to be 12 years old and be punnished. But you do not know what it is like to be a parent. It is a tremendous responsability.
2006-11-30 10:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by tas211 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you knew you were in the wrong at the time, so you were intelligent enough to know the difference, but you went ahead and did it anyway. That is where your parents come in. They know what you said and they understand that your friends pressure on you to do something that was wrong is hard on you, but they love you and have grounded you with your friends for the very reason that you knew you were wrong and still did the wrong thing. If you can understand what I am trying to tell you, you will understand that your so-called friends will always end up getting in trouble over things like this until they graduate to theft, drugs and worse things and if they can they will drag you along with them. Take a look at this situation: if you put one idiot in a room with nine geniuses and leave them in that room for a month, will you end up with 10 geniuses? No, you end up with 10 idiots because it is easier to get along with an idiot who does wrong because he wants to, then to get an idiot to do right no matter how hard it seems at the time. So, do yourself a favor and stop blaming your parents for your error and learn to grow up just a little bit faster than you have been til now. And keep away from the idiots!
2006-11-30 10:33:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say your mum is buying you the new laptop and she thinks you will take it apart, well time will show her that you wont! In time your mum will see that you are not the kid you were before, relax and try not to worry about it. If you have trouble with homework i am sure some guys on this site will be more than willing to help, and you could always ask your teacher at school to clarify things you don't understand. Time passes quicker for adults and they are slow to realise how much a child has matured sometimes...don't worry! ( Im mum to five.)
2016-03-13 01:11:08 · answer #5 · answered by Vernieke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
apart of growing up is making mistakes. but what u have to do is show ur parents that you are ur own person, what i mean is that you dont do things just because ur friends are i always tell my children to be a leader not a follower and u will be surprised of how your peers will respect and look up to u.explain to them that u will start making better decisions when with ur friends. try to keep the communication between you and ur parents open so that they feel that they can trust you.good luck!
2006-11-30 10:35:55 · answer #6 · answered by soshaun 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want to hear this But your parents are right. You may not see it now. But You will. I know because I have been there. You need to get new friends or try to convince the ones you have never to do this again. It a hard habit to break. Your parents are looking out for your health. Please try to see that they are doing this out of love for you.
2006-11-30 10:34:49 · answer #7 · answered by Sugar 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah it´s fair. it´s hell a fair!!!
you deserve it!
your parents care about you and are trying to protect you!
and seriously, how do they know that you aren´t going to do it again and, besides, if they didn´t do anything about it when they found out about it, then what would the big deal trying it again*maybe it will be better next time or it will make me look "cool"*
trust me on that one, you´d probably end up trying again to look older or kid **** like that.
and also YOU KNEW IT WAS BAD WHAT YOU WERE DOING FROM THE START!!! YOU WERE ALREADY AWARE THAT IF YOUR PARENTS FOUND OUT THAT THEY WOULD FREAK!!! YOU KNEW THERE WERE CONSEQUENCES AND THAT YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING WRONG -- NOW YOU HAVE TO PAY.
that´s life. deal with it.
maybe you can try studying english while your at it.
xao
2006-11-30 10:40:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will take time to rebuild their trust in you. Just be patient they need time to cool off, but try not to bring it up to them and let them see you acting more responsible. They will cool off and eventually allow you to hang out with your friends again, just be strong and don't follow the crowd. Just because they do something stupid doesn't mean you have to follow. That shows you are weak, and your parents need to know that you are strong.
2006-11-30 10:35:54 · answer #9 · answered by faith 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I caught my daughter smoking too.
Your parents will calm down.
Maybe you should write a contract and sign it,
say that you won't smoke and if any of the people you are with
are or want you to. you will call them to come and get you. or you will leave and come home.
2006-11-30 10:30:06 · answer #10 · answered by jaded_blueone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋