how can i change my internal dialog and forget about the past
2006-11-30 09:49:43 · 20 answers · asked by loser 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Hi, Well, the first thing you should do is change your screen name. Don't call yourself a loser. Don't say you are stupid either. Both of those examples are internal dialog and your subconscious mind is believing that. Think positive, pick a positive screen name, write out some positive affirmations on little cards and place them around your room and home where you will see them many times a day. Keep telling yourself how good, handsome, worthy, deserving, etc. In time you will start believing it and things will change drastically for you. Good Luck!
2006-11-30 10:02:48 · answer #1 · answered by sunshinesue_1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most internal dialogs come from external sources first. I am guessing that during your growing up years, the people in your life must have been critical of your intelligence. When I was growing up people made remarks that always made me feel that I am not smart and would never be smart. Constantly being compared to my cousins who scored straight As in their test when I was scoring Bs & Cs, no matter how much I studied, convinced me that I am stupid and would never amount to anything. Believing that I was stupid was also a self-fulfilling prophecy. I made "excuses" for not being able to achieve anything. It was also hard for me to change because of my environment, changing people's perception of you is not an easy task, especially those that are close to you and have known you all your life.
How I change my internal dialog was by confronting my past, not forgetting it. For instance, I would journal out irrelevant assumptions made by people when I was growing up. Just because I am not good in math and science doesn't mean I am stupid, it just means that those subjects are not my strengths. I then go on to journal the different things that I am good at. There are many types of intelligence: one can be street smart, book smart or relationship smart. The next time you have an internal dialog, tell yourself that being bad at something doesn't mean that you are stupid, it just means that you are bad at that particular thing. Everyone has their own strengths and smarts you just have to look for yours. Finally, a truly "stupid" person would not know that he was stupid, just as a crazy person would not know that he was crazy.
2006-11-30 18:46:52 · answer #2 · answered by LL66 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well make a start my challenging your internal dialogue on a rational level.
The way to do this is to write a statement about yourself. Now write evidence that supports that statement. And now you have to be VERY honest to make this a fair exercise, you write all the evidence against this statement.
Secondly, whenever you think a negative thought, no matter how hard you must come up with a thought to counteract it. So for example, if I thought, I'm no good at anything then I have to correct myself and say what I AM good at. Many people at this point will say 'But I'm NOT good at ANYTHING!'. Well this is simply not true. What is more likely is that the person has had years of experience of focusing on their negative aspects and it really is a new thing to think about positive things they have.
It does take practise and self awareness. So as you go through your day, catch each negative thought, 'bin it' immediately and replace it with a more positive view.
It's a new way of thinking. Remember it took years to perfect 'slagging yourself off' so it will take a little time to reverse this LEARNED way of thinking about yourself.
Oh and this DOES work if you stick at it...it really does. I'm proof.
Oh and by the way take no notice of Monster (above), now see he really IS a loser! Whereas I'm sure you're not at all like that so there we are...a positive point for you.
2006-11-30 18:38:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little bit of oxymoronic stuff going on here... anyone who knows about changing their internal dialog IS NOT STUPID...
Here are a few of many, many possible suggestions:
(1)Write a "what-is-working" list: Jot down all the things in your life that are positive and hopeful... then read them out loud. Touch on all the parts of your life that you might take for granted... if you can spend a mere 17 seconds of consistent positivity you will be in a much improved place from which to problem-solve.
(2)Who is your hero or favorite role model? List 10 things that you find appealing about this particular person (can be someone you have read about as well as someone you actually know). Are some of these items YOUR own qualities, or qualities that you would like to have in your life? Set a goal to work to include these particular qualities into your life.
(3)Hang out with supportive, affirmative people... maybe you need to join ToastMasters or a healthy Church. Practice being a supportive and affirmative person to others, and to yourself!
(4)Many people have had positive experiences with using EFT to turn around the negative issues in their lives. Go here to find out more>> http://tinyurl.com/yag7zk Another easily learned and applied energy therapy is BSFF and you can find out more about it here: http://tinyurl.com/ychl3z
(5)Want to be part of a coaching group where you can make changes in your life? Join My Monday Miracles at http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/My_Monday_Miracles/
Get yourself into some positive energy and celebrate your giftedness!
Healthia Cynthia
Certified Comprehensive Coach
Moderator for the brand-new Yahoo! group
http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/My_Monday_Miracles/
2006-11-30 18:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
practice, practice, practice.
And, if that doesn't work and you are experiencing intrusive thoughts that are negative and that you just can't "shut off" . . . there are 2 very effective options available.
1) phosphatidyl choline, 420 mg 2 or 3 times a day with doses spaced well apart
2) This is amazingly effective and works within 20 to 40 minutes for most people: a herb called Holy Basil, which you can find in capsule form. It is truly amazing! It does not make you high at all but it outright stops intrusive negative thoughts in their tracks. No negative side effects.
2006-11-30 17:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by Samslou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not a loser, cut that out. You are whatever you say you are. For you'll find that most everyone is equal on the basis of being human, every other qualification for greatness is made in the minds of others, and you'll be starkingly surprised at how people's opinions of you have a direct relation to your own opinion of yourself. It's about how you carry yourself, and how you allow others to treat you. You can change your internal dialogue by focusing on what you do wish to experience and always thinking positive no matter what, making negative thoughts off limits. Visualize what you want your life to be like. Write "I am so happy and grateful now that _________" and write out your life in every area, exactly how you want it to be. You'll be amazed at the results. http://youtube.com/watch?v=csiAsbPxmmY
2006-11-30 17:58:30 · answer #6 · answered by Answerer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st let me say monster j--you ARE a monster.
ok to answer your question--change your Y.Answers name to something other that "loser". Next, self awareness, that is being aware when you have negative thoughts about yourself & imediately replace the neg with a related positive X3--it takes 3 or more pos thoughts to negate the negative one. Like you catch yourself calling yourself stupid for some mistake, think/or better say it out loud, " that's not true, I'm really quite capable, I can handle most situations gracefully, and I learn from any mistakes & don't repeat them" Here's another tip, wear a rubber band on your wrist, when you catch yourself beating yourself up, give it a little snap, and affirm that you are a good person & won't allow yourself or others to denegrate you.
2006-11-30 17:59:37 · answer #7 · answered by Clycs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My poor loser,...my poor baby...you have got to change your avatars name from loser to hope.....Please pray to the Good Lord, to help you by forgiving the things and people that hurt you so bad that you feel like a stupid loser..you're not...you are just down in the dumps right now..and this is a good place for you to be...there are so many sweet people here that will reach out for you...I am glad you came here...you're not a loser..just forgive those that hurt you and move on..you have your whole life ahead of you xox
2006-11-30 18:23:24 · answer #8 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider reading Feeling Good by David D. Burns, M.D.
Only, I suggest skipping the introduction and fist chapter, they're just frustrating.
Good luck.
2006-11-30 17:58:30 · answer #9 · answered by bangmandown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past. Close that chapter and move on to bigger and better things. Your not stupid but your definitely not confident so work on that. Walk with your head up and count your blessings.
2006-11-30 18:06:31 · answer #10 · answered by Darcee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋