“Welcome to NHS Psychiatric hotline… If you are obsessive compulsive please press 1 repeatedly… If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multi-personalities, please press 3,4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want – just stay on the line so that we can trace the call…
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press…. If you are manic depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.”
2006-11-30 09:40:47 · 11 answers · asked by geoffrey2312 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ur stealing my jokes lol , gd 1 lmao 10/10
2006-11-30 09:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
* If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
* If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
* If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
* If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
* If you are a depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no-one will answer.
* If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
* If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
*If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
2006-12-01 00:57:48 · answer #2 · answered by little_friend 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
After listening to all of that you realise how sane and healthy you really are ! Who needs them not me thats for sure .
2006-11-30 11:30:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. NHS helpline is completely useless.
2006-11-30 09:45:45 · answer #4 · answered by Kami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clever x
2006-11-30 09:43:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very good where did you find a copy of the handbook
2006-11-30 12:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by tjtwix1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice and numerical hehe
2006-11-30 09:46:29 · answer #7 · answered by susanne l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a good one! LOL! =D
2006-11-30 10:52:07 · answer #8 · answered by lilypond868 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
copycat
2006-11-30 20:03:21 · answer #9 · answered by markhatter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha,very good
2006-11-30 09:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by Fudgie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋