my daughter is very stuborn ans withdrawn, she is very grown up f her age but will not let me in wot can i do?

Question

she is nearly 15 yrs old but wont open up t me , she is a middle child and i think she feels it, her sister is nearly 17 and her younger brother is nearly 11 help

Answer 1

maybe you should realize that at that age kids want space. yes you should want to take an interested in your daughter, but your her parent, your probaly the las person she wants to talk to. just give her so breathing room, let her have a little freedom and space, and don't be breathing done her neck, beacuase she wont talk to you about everything. i'm 17 i'm pretty sure i now what i'm talking about

Answer 2

That's what my sister is like, she's about to turn 14 years old. It may be just a phase, but if you don't address it, it COULD become a major problem. Similar to what it is for my family now. Just spend extra time with her, find out what she likes, take her shopping, buy some Timmy's after school her (or McDonalds for the Americans).

That's what my mom did with my sister, and she eventually opened up. However, she is still a royal pain in the a**.

Just don't ignore younger one, that will turn out bad. The older girl will probably enjoy the watchful hack-eye of mommy.

Answer 3

well around that age, most teenagers crave for privacy & independence. In their hear they feel the need to assert things & solve as much on their own. In reality they do need an adult's guidance. They will never do the initiative when they are forced to open up... they will eventually when they decide to. Not when you want to, but when they're really ready.
chill out mom! i know it's hard to be a parent, but they have their own battles in & our their comfort zone. Just stay being there.

Answer 4

You wont get in. when my daughter turned 14 it was as if the aliens had abducted her and sent this horrible obnoxious little swine in her place, by the time she reached 16 she was through whatever stage it was and was back to being the nice person she had been. the only thing i can put it down to is hormones, but it wasnt a pleasant couple of years with her

Answer 5

Why should she let you in? She's growing up give her a bit of time to her self.

Oh and do check your own behaviour. My mother has always complained I was secretive but I kept things to myself because aything I said would be repeated to anyone who would listen. I really could have done without the postman knowing I'd started my first period. I'm not sayig you do this just that it's a psibility.

Answer 6

Communication is the best policy. Let your daughter know that she is an important part in your life, and let her know that you understand what she goes through. Sometimes the best policy is to just talk with you child, because in most cases that is going to be what the child wants and needs. To let her know that mom still cares and she knows what she is going through.

Answer 7

Give her love and support. Let her talk when she needs to. When she talks to you about anything, stop your first reaction of being a parent. Think clearly before responding and try to put yourself in her shoes. I'm not saying, stop parenting... I'm just saying that alot of times, teens feel that their parents over react to situations. It makes them feel crowded and like they can't share things.
You're daughter wants to feel grown up. Try treating her like an adult... which, I know is hard because she's not.... but she probably feels like she's old enough to make decisions. Respect her...when she makes a decision (even a dumb one), don't belittle her. Ask her questions about her decision, and let her learn from her mistakes. She'll respect you more, and come to you to talk more often if she feels like you respect her for who she is.

Good luck!

mj

Answer 8

There is no hard and fast rule.
I have problems too,but i have learned not to worry too much.
You can still shepherd her in the right directions but you cant force something that just wont go.
Soon she will grow out of it.your problem is nothing new

Answer 9

I'm a middle child and I always preferred to solve my own problems. When I wanted people in I let them in and when they pushed I made sure I kept away from them.
Even a simple hi hello and she returns it you are in, but it will always be on her terms. Us middle borns we are quite independent.

Answer 10

well my mom has the same problem with my 14 yr old sister and i always tell my mom that you always have to tell her you love her...maybe take her out like to a movie just the two of you and talk to her .......that might help a bit.