Ethic/Morality Question.... ?

Question

I have a co-worker.
An older lady and unfortunately the mother of both my bosses.
She has absolutely NO sense of personal boundaries or personal space. She is nosey as hell and can be quite bitchy. But then again can be very sweet.
She's always asking me questions that don't even pertain to my job, or she tells me how to do my job when she doesnt even know what she's talking about. There's lots more just not enough time to list them all.

Well today came the straw that broke the camels back. My other co-worker brought me lunch and I was STARVING. He set my bag on her desk since it's right by the door. Well, she's like "who's is this?" I was looking up a file and I yelled "it's mine, hang on, I'll get it" So she nods and then deliberatly takes an entire handful of my fries and says all nonchalantly "you should put these somewhere else, they're dangerous."

My question is, she is driving me CRAZY, should I tell her daughters (my bosses)??

Answer 1

I'd get some french fries and put them in her desk drawer. She wanted them somewhere else! Dangerous? wtf? If you see her eating lunch, grab the sandwich out of her hands and take a bite. Then say it doesn't taste good. (just kidding)

In all seriousness, I'm sure she was trying to be funny and make a point, but don't go touching food that doesn't belong to you. Talk to the bosses, or their bosses. You can't go to them because it's their mom. They'll be able to help.

Answer 2

I think that religious values CAN be a good basis for ethics/morality, but they are not REQUIRED and an ethical/moral system based on religion isn't automatically going to be better or worse than one that isn't. However, I would question the ethics/morals of people who only behave a certain way because of something like the threat of suffering in the afterlife and not because of a true concern for or sense of empathy with their fellow human beings.

Answer 3

You already know that the two daughters can NOT control her - she is their mother.

You can go to the girls and tell them you would like to be able to handle your problem with their mother without being fired by them. (after telling them what you just told us)

Even put it in writing, so that there will be no mis-understanding about exactly what she is doing to you.

After they give you the go-ahead, you will be in a position to tell her to mind her own business. You could even put that in writing and give it to the daughters beforehand.

Something like, "There are boundaries between what co-workers should do and not do to each other and you have crossed those boundaries.

If you would have these things done to you, there would be no question that you would not like it. (Go through and write out all the stuff she has done, and why it was wrong - in case she is so brazen that she does not recognize she has crossed the line of propriety.)

Say that you realize that the bosses/owners of this business are her daughters, but that you do not recognize that it affects how SHE should be allowed to treat YOU, as an employee of THEIR company.

Say that you do not wish to make an enemy of her, but you would just really like it if she would have respect for you as another human being, and control her overbearing behavior toward you.

Alway try to make her 'trade places' with you and see how it would make HER feel if these things were done to HER - since 'HER' seems to be the only person she ever thinks of.
Good luck to you!

Answer 4

First things first, you must confront this lady. Never go above a co-worker's head without first confronting them...unless you've already been down that road. You can go to your boss, because they are supposed to be neutral and fair when solving these kinds of problems. Let it be known, though, that while they SHOULD be fair, they probably won't be...chances are, they'll not only side with your mother, but may even tell her that you're complaining about her. Perhaps a change of scenery is in order? Weigh the pros and cons of your situation and what could happen if you go to your bosses. Then see if maybe you should start looking for a new place of employment.

Answer 5

You should tell HER, not her daughters. I would say something like, "I'm sorry, but that was my lunch, and I don't appreciate your taking the liberty of helping yourself to my food." She probably doesn't even realize how rude she is being.

If she crosses the line, let her know in a professional, tactful way. If she is in your personal space, let her know you are uncomfortable with her standing so close to you. When she tells you how to do your job, simply thank her for her help and she will move on.

Your bosses are not the problem, their mother is. I always say, take it to the source.

Good luck!

Answer 6

You received a lot of great answers here!

Please tell the bosses with the utmost respect and sincerity...

If you want anyone to take you serious, look them in the eye, get to the point, don't make it personal just business, and never, ever use the word "like" when you are speaking to anyone that you wish to take you serious. It is an absolute losing battle from the start!

Good luck to you

Answer 7

I think she feels like you are kinda like family. She's comfortable with you and not so worried about saying or doing the conventionally correct thing.
I'd let it go and even go with it. Next time you get fries, get an extra order, leave it in one bag with your stuff, and let her take as many as she wants. She seems to enjoy the feeling of 'belonging' to the group at the office, and it never hurts to have an extra friend, especially the mother of both your bosses.

Answer 8

If you say anything you should say it as humorous as possible: "OMG!!!!! Your mother is such a character she grabbed some of my fries the other day right out of my bag.........I hope her hands were clean, tee hee, tee hee."

Ya gotta tip toe around issues of family matters at work, remember blood is thicker than water and you don't need to be out looking for a job over a few fries. Personally I would have given her the rest of the fries cuz what are the chances she cleans her hands regularly.

Answer 9

YES. Tell your bosses, as nicely as you can. Throw in a few examples of what you've had to deal with. No one should have to put up with that nonsense. I wonder if she acts like she does because of who the bosses are? Anyway, I wish you luck!

Answer 10

wow that's tough...
i would probably not tell her daughters (your bosses)....cuz they are likely to side with her regardless of the facts...it's really a no win situation!!
i would try avoiding her as much as possible....
i hope you get some good suggestions, cuz i can't see a way out of this one!!
well....maybe...
are your other co-workers just as fed up??? ....you could go to your bosses as a united front.....then you won't be singled out as complaining about their mom