I'm in the process of moving from NYC back to my hometown 100 miles away.
I have to spend the next month packing, leasing/buying a car, arranging all the utilities/cable/bank/insurance/movingcompany stuff.
Have to buy new stuff for place including appliances.
When I move home I know I will be spending time helping my grandmother who is almost 96 with things to make her life easier.
And starting a new job too.
Additionally I had a bad health scare that just turned out okay, but still left me wiped out and now I have to have surgery for it all around New Year's. (Will take a week to recover)
Tack on an exBF who is at turns melancholy/cruel/suicidal towards me, even though Ive tried to tell him to leave me alone and move on now.
And lastly I still have a budding bona fide internet stalker who Im still trying to figure out whether to ignore or go to the police about.
So I feel so farking overwhelmed right now that I want to crawl up in a ball.
2006-11-30 08:03:09 · 14 answers · asked by Leea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know I'll get thru it all and in 2-3 months will be happy I moved and feeling good. Right now though I want to stop dwelling on any guys and put any new connections on hold.
Here's the problem. There is a great guy who has been sweet, patient and very cool listening to my problems and being supportive.
He's also very attractive and great boyfriend potential.
Not the kind of guy who girls ignore.
He lives in my hometown and seems excited that Im almost moved home.
How do I explain to this really great guy that I would love to explore things with him 2-3 moths from now and not at present ?
Im afraid that no matter what I say he'll feel rejected and look elsewhere.
Very frustrating. Im just not in dating mode right now. I really really like him a lot and it sucks to have to pass him up for now and possibly risk the chance that he'll be taken when Im ready to date.
Am I a dumbass to just concentrate on getting myself moved and my life in order for a while
2006-11-30 08:03:16 · update #1
if hes such a great guy he might want to help you out in all this. Try explaining it exactly like you did here and i'm sure he will understand, i mean, it sounds as though you are having quite a time...best of luck
2006-11-30 08:07:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey i love your question, it has been the best question I've read in some time here, No, your not dumb for wanting a break, you need a break, what you could do is share how your feeling to this guy in your hometown if he's interested he'll still be around for you, he could also help you as a friend now this is the best scenario, keep him as a good friend, get to know him a bit better, keep him close but not too close, actually your in a good situation, hey your life is going to open up in a month or 2 and you have the world ahead of you..
Good Luck, and
God Bless
2006-11-30 08:12:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got stuff to take care of right now. It's not stupid to take a break from dating, people do it all the time, even when they are not overwhelmed with other stuff in their lives.
In regards to this new guy, be honest about what you have going on. Be honest about your interest in him. I find that it's not intrest or chemestry that's the issues these days, it's timing. Right now is just not the right time for you.
If you are honest with this guy, I don't see why he wouldn't still be in your life, and once the timing is right then perhaps something special can happen. But you also have to be realistic, he's not going to wait around if someone else comes into his life. It's better to start something when your ready then go into it at 50% (or less)
2006-11-30 08:10:27 · answer #3 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, take the time for you! I think that you are doing the best thing for you right now. I know that you are overwhelmed and to add dating someone new to the equation right now would only be disasterous. You wouldn't be able to give 100% to a new relationship. Besides, you are moving!
I say, take some time off, do what you need to do, and get your head on straight. Once you are settled back into the groove of things, then you can get back out there and start dating again.
Good luck!
2006-11-30 08:09:36 · answer #4 · answered by Nik 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him you have a lot going on and you are just getting out of a bad relationship. right now what you really need is a friend. let him be your friend and stay in touch and then when you are ready you can let it be more. if he is a great guy he will understand what you are going through and that you need some time right now.
2006-11-30 08:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by LLL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need time to regroup then take it. However, if a nice guy comes up and introduces himself, don't go and run away screaming. Also, don't put yourself on the shelf for too long.
2006-11-30 08:06:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not stupid cuz sometimes you need totime by yourself to find yourself and you know what sometimes when you stop dating you can find the person you love but dont wait too long cuz you might miss something special thats right in front of your face
much luv
ya gurl
Quita
2006-11-30 08:07:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
restraining orders for the first two. relax and help grandma. LIFE HAPPENS, sit back and enjoy the ride. things will get better.
2006-11-30 08:08:04 · answer #8 · answered by madema 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
those thoughts will pass, time heals all wounds. your boyfriend is with you, for this reason you at the instant are not 2d terrific. supply up throwing him by using a gauntlet of uncomfortable questions which fairly are none of your business enterprise. the comparable could choose for him if it replace into you. you're ruining some time mutually via residing on the previous. what sort of destiny do you think of you might have? i'm conversing as somebody who is conscious, my husband and that i temporarily cut up and he dated somebody else, we've been given back mutually and it replace into difficult. I did the real comparable element you're doing and it merely made issues worse and extra complicated and that i chanced on all of our unfastened time mutually replace into being ruined and my husband now no longer regarded forward to spending time with me, which made my thoughts of no longer being reliable sufficient worse. at last i found out that mutually as we've been separated what he did wasn't fairly any of my business enterprise except he wanted it to be. So I backed off and centred on solving our relationship. at last those thoughts dwindled and my husband spread out approximately his relationship along with his ex, in the commencing up it replace into difficult to pay attention yet i found out that what he replace into attempting to describe replace into definite he did have reliable instances along with her yet they weren't something whilst in comparison with instances with me and mutually as he replace into along with her he never fairly felt as finished like he does with me. That total subject saved our marriage and mutually as my thoughts of sickness and discomfort have dwindled i'm now extra grateful for the adventure because of the fact it made us a extra effectual couple. We never desire to lose one yet another ever lower back
2016-12-29 17:32:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date him for the free food.
2006-11-30 08:05:27 · answer #10 · answered by ndmac 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋