My husband is currently making $50K a year, in a job he loves in Mississippi. Recently he was offered a job starting at $75K with full relocation in Seattle. We have two small children, so moving would not be a problem with us. HOWEVER, My parents live in Arkansas and are very protective of me, they told me that he should not accept and that we should stay where we are. They said that if we were to move, that they would never come and see us. They try and put a guilt trip on me by telling me that is something was to happen to them, health wise, that I would not be around to help. I feel trapped. I want to move and be loyal to my hubby, but I want my parents to understand that this is a great opp. for us and to accept it. What shoudl I do, serious answers only please!
2006-11-30 07:43:49 · 10 answers · asked by Mrs. SmartyPants 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I remember the day we, me, hubby and 3 kids , packed up and moved from south Texas to north Louisiana. It was hard to drive off and leave my family standing there waving us good-bye with tears in all our eyes... but I did it ! I married my husband for better or worse. I took him as he took me, to be ONE with each other.. that is the way it is supposed to be !!!! and now as a mother and grandmother, I am facing the possibility that 2 of my grandchildren will be moving to Ohio.. it is not easy and is heartbreaking to say the least... but I had to do it, and they have to do it...... It will be the hardest day of my life when I have to say those 2 little words to those kids... * good-bye*, but I will find the strength to say them with a smile and then I will bless them and parents and put them in Gods' hand....
You must face your parents, let them know that you care and love them, but that the day you took him as your husband, you and he became ONE and that it is your place to follow him... I know that sounds old fashioned and all, but it is just the way it is..... and I am sure that if it was you who had that opportinity for a better job, he would follow you...... In this day and age and with the way things are, it would seem to me, that your parents would be thankful for the better money and opportunity for your little family....... whether your parents understand or not, they will come to terms with it all sooner or later.. I am sure that right now they are just hurting and are afraid they may not see you much... assure them that you will call , write , e-mail, send post cards, lots of pics. of the chidren, etc....... and stick to your promise..... God bless
2006-11-30 07:55:47 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say move. I recently moved away from my family to be with my boyfriend. I come from a very close family. I lived with my parents, and we lived next door to my dad's parents, his brother and his family and his sister and her family. So I was around family members all the time. They weren't happy when I made the decision to move so far away, but they knew that if they tried to stop me it would just make it worse. However, my grandmother did try and she did make it worse. She told me that there was no reason to move and blah blah blah. I thought that she would get used to it and realize she was wrong, but she didn't. She put a big wedge in between us. My grandpa even tried to tell her what she was doing was wrong. But she still made comments and refused to come see me. This went on for a while, but finally one day she caved and came to visit me. I know it was hard for her and I respect her a little more for it. I'm not totally over it and I won't be for a while. Some of the things she said were very hurtful. But she is my family and as much as she hurt me I still love her. Try to get your parents to see that just because you're moving away doesn't mean that you love them any less. And ask them to look at it from your point of view. What would they have done for each other if it meant a better life for them and their children. I still say you should move. If you can't make your parents see that it's a good opportunity, then I'm sorry. But hopefully they'll come around eventually. Once they realize they're missing out on their grandchildrens' lives. That will probably hit closer to home. I hope things work out for you. Congrats on the new job offer and the wonderful opportunity it provides for you family. Stay strong and hang in there.
2006-11-30 16:36:53 · answer #2 · answered by Brensgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense meant, but this should be a no-brainer. You support your husband and children. If your parents are so shallow and care only for themselves then they deserve to be alone.
Remind them that this is the 21st century and we have airplanes. If something happens to them you can be there in a few short hours.
Tell them to grow up and deal with you being an adult, and a wife and learn to cut the apron strings.
here is a quote for you to use. "Dad, Mom, I love you very much. It is my duty as a wife and mother to support my husband and children first. If you cannot accept that and support my decision then you will just have to find a way to deal with it. I am moving with my family to Seattle. You are welcome to come and visit anytime, and we will come and visit as often as time and money allows."
Then you move.
Do they have a computer and Internet? If not maybe you can get an off the shelf computer for them and dial up Internet so you can keep in touch.
2006-11-30 15:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by norman j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your husband should discuss this. It you agree that the move would be best for the both of you and your children, then you should go for. Your parents are just a little scared about you going so far away. If you decide to go, I'm sure they will visit you, and you can always visit them. Just don't let them control your life. They just need to learn to let go. Do what you think is best for you, your husband, and your children, and everything will turn out great. Good Luck!!!
2006-11-30 15:51:29 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Quentin's Mommy♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband and children are your family now. You already understand that your parents have not only laid a guilt trip on you they are trying to control you. They probably tried to control you all your life and now that you are gone they feel a loss of control. Tell them that you love them and understand how they feel, but.............and give them your honest answer. Don't you think that if you told your husband not to move that he would feel betrayed? Do what's best for you and your family. You mom and dad will either get over it or hold it over your head for the rest of you life. Who needs that crap? Sounds like your parents have a lot of growing up to do. Good luck kiddo.
2006-11-30 15:49:58 · answer #5 · answered by Rosa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Shame on your parents. You are an adult, your husband and children come first. Your husband is obviously thinking about the financial security of his family. You need to tell them your sorry they feel that way. And go on with your business. Consider it a new adventure. An opportunity to get out of a very oppressed area to an area that will have great opportunities and adventures for you and your children. Go for it!
2006-11-30 16:03:24 · answer #6 · answered by flymeawayfromhere 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all why would your parents who love you interfere in such a twisted way. Your happiness and your hubby and kids happiness comes first. They are your number one responsibility not your parents. Go on an adventure with your husband and tell you parents I'm sorry you feel this way, but don't you dare interfere or intimidate me when it comes to making desicions for my family. If they can't support you, don't share life changing info with them. This is an exciting time in your life and don't let them influence yours and your husbands desicion or it will ruin your marriage. This is a desicion you make with your husband not your parents.
2006-11-30 15:56:44 · answer #7 · answered by Maizy * 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Nobody can serve two masters at the same time." On the day you decided to marry your husband you are willing to undergo whatever it takes to be a wife. On the day you exchange vows with him...you have surrendered to him everything that you have. Physically...mentally...emotionally...spiritually and everything. In short , you have entrusted not only your love but also your whole life to him. We love and respect our parents for we owe them our lives but the time has come for you to live a life of your own and establish a happy married life with your husband. Go with your husband...someday your parents will surely understand you. Maybe not for the moment...but later they will.
2006-11-30 16:23:26 · answer #8 · answered by dimma59 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move , in time they well come and see you . if they like it there they may even move there to in time
2006-11-30 16:04:04 · answer #9 · answered by beefcowsboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your place is with your husband and kids, they are your family. you are now an adult. this is not your parents decision.
2006-11-30 16:16:30 · answer #10 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋