He got drunk with college friends from 6pm onwards.He then offered to walk a girl he thought didn't like him to the train station.She missed her train.Between the two of them they got a hotel room-double/single I didn't ask.Once in the room he said he wanted to just sleep, but she suggested sex.She guided him into her and they had sex "twice but in the same sequence of events" he also remembers going down on her.The next morning he says he felt awful about it.
Roll on 3 weeks. I notice he hasn't been calling as much as usual. We go out for a meal and when I get flirtatious and suggest going home with him, he backs off.
So last friday. He comes over and tells me what happened. I am shaking. Up to this point we have only ever slept with and gone out with only each other.We have been together for nearly 5 years.Basically its total devastation.But VERY oddly I went home with him that night...Now I feel like I'm losing the plot....HELP ME!!!We're both 24.
2006-11-30 07:43:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has said sorry.I asked if he wanted to stay together-yes.I asked him if he wanted to stay mongamous and he said yes.He said he loved me and didn't know how to tell me.
2006-11-30 07:49:13 · update #1
But I did ask him if it was exciting and he said yes.
2006-11-30 08:01:01 · update #2
thats strange if he came and tld you though thats a good sign.
talk to him and see whats up.. if you love him forgive him.
2006-11-30 07:46:42 · answer #1 · answered by musicalxcrash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone makes mistakes. You should forgive him beside it was only one time. But if it happens again you need to let the dog go because if you let him get away with it twice he will never respect you. At least he had the gust to tell you it shows that he really felt bad about the situation. Some of these no good men would have never told you the probabbly would have fess up if u found out. You might just have agood one on you hands. WORK IT OUT.
2006-11-30 16:00:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I dont really dont know the answer to your question... only you can decide that. However, 5 years together is a long time and the fact that you's both only ever dated / slept with each other is kinda different from a love-rat out for what he can get.
Ask yourself if your relationship was going sower, considering both your age, lenght of years together, only having been with eachother etc.. He clearly loves you by his reaction to his own behaviour and coming clean to you out of guilt over what he did. And he feels bad enough not to jump straight back into your bed.
In my opioning you should really consider whether you really want a life with him. Peoples love at such an early age can grow into a great fondness for eachother, you can go from been 'in love' with someone to just 'loving someone' and thats not enough to build a future on. I think you need to sit down and ask him seriously if part of him wanted it to happen (he did have sex with her twice ) Was telling you meant to make you split up with him? ( gave you the details: sex twice / went down on her ) Does he want to call it a day but doesnt want to hurt you? Or was it really as he said and all a mistake?
Its just as hard to let go of someone you love even if your not still 'in love' with them or want to be with them. Dont stay together just because you are used to eachother. Been drunk is not a 'great' excuse.. its can be a good excuse. You have to put yourself first and talk to friends about it. Good luck and all the best what ever you decide.
2006-11-30 16:28:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you can forgive him then you should try again, but if this is going to upset you or you will ue this against him then you must walk away to avoid pain to both of you
i believe the question you need to ask is can i draw a line under this which means
1) not thinking about it again
2) not mentioning it again
3) not thinking he will do it again
4) not uing it against him in a fight
if you answer yes to all of these then go for it, if you answered no to one of these then it may be time to reevaluate the relationship or at least tell him how you feel and say he needs to help you get to a stage where you feel you can say yes to all the above questions
good luck
2006-11-30 15:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't condone 'cheating' - however, if it was just a one night stand, and he feels bad about it and he had the balls to tell you what he did - then he deserves another chance. You are obviously very fond of him. You have not lost the plot you have every right to feel angry,betrayed. He possibly now realises (not that he needed reassurance) that you are the one he wants to be with otherwise he would have said, 'its over I want someone else'.
I hope you sort things out.
2006-11-30 15:53:17 · answer #5 · answered by hodcarrier2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Get yourself tested regularly now for HIV/AIDs and various STDs if you are silly enough to stay with each other. You do not need this in your life. You have wasted many years with him, do not add one more day. Don't stay just because you are comfortable. This was a wakeup call for you! Listen to it and see the red flag!
2006-11-30 15:56:46 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but the writing is now on the wall for your relationship.
It sounds like it's doomed
You'll never forget what he's done,
and once a guy strays chances are he will do it again.
2006-11-30 15:52:05 · answer #7 · answered by natashia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You certainly got the detail from him which is unusual for a guy.
Sadly once a cheat whatever the circumstances always a cheat.
Plenty of other horny men who just want YOU out there.
2006-11-30 15:58:15 · answer #8 · answered by OO7 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, Don't be a fool, he'll just do it again. you don't get a hotel room with some one if you don't want sex. PERIOD.get out of there, you deserve better, honest. I know a cheat when I hear one, he wants to stay with you coz it's cosy ans now you forgive him and he thinks, "****, I can just go out and **** some more and she don't care" HE WILL DO IT AGAIN.
2006-11-30 15:56:33 · answer #9 · answered by ANTJOHN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He came and told you the exact truth with detail, he says he wants to be with you, he wants to stay faithful with you, give him one more chance.
A one off is a mistake if he does it again he is takin the mick and you need to kick his A**e to the kerb. I suggest you tell him that as well so he knows you mean it!! Good luck babe xxx
2006-11-30 15:54:36 · answer #10 · answered by bubblesbabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shud ask him how he feels towards u n whether he stil wants to be with u and wats wrong... talk to him then u'll kno where u stand in the relationship
2006-11-30 15:47:00 · answer #11 · answered by :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋