My ex and were together for 4 years. We have been broken up for the past year but try to remain friends. Sometimes hooking up on lonely nights. I still love him, but not in love anymore. The chemistry is gone, has been gone for a long time. He wants me back, but I continue to tell him that we need to move on. He's persistant and trying to convince me otherwise.
Now I have this new guy for the past 6 months. He's great! We get along and our relationship is much more maturer than the last. He understands that we have to move slow because of my ex. But for some reason I can't quite tell my ex that I've moved on. I guess for the sake of keeping his feelings from hurting. We have slept together within these 6 months about 5 times.
I met the family of the new guy, now I'm ready for the next step. I had to break the news to the ex, he didn't take it well. He called the new boyfriend and told him everything and exaggerated some. New guy is so upset at me. What should I do? How can I repair?
2006-11-30 07:18:07 · 21 answers · asked by so much confusion 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well I know I messed up. And when I confronted my new guy (keep in mind, we were never together), I made sure I told him exactly what went on. No lies! I just kept information from him. I told him that I was truely sorry and I was confused. Wasn't sure if I should stick with the old boyfriend or move on. They are both really good guys and I know hate myself for hurting them. I really love this new guy and the ex for sure is now out of the picture after what he did. That was a wake up call!
2006-11-30 09:08:55 · update #1
cant repair. if you where over the last relationship then u should have moved on like u told him to. hanging on, etc isnt progressing. cut all ties. about the new guy. uve lost his trust...there isnt much u can do. and i can understand why he is hurt...
2006-11-30 07:20:41 · answer #1 · answered by jenivive 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this new guy is indeed mature he will accept that what your ex is telling him is now in the past. The only thing you can do in regards to this situation is tell you new boyfriend that things have ended with you ex. Explain to your new boyfriend that some of what was said by your ex is exaggerated. Again, if he is as mature as you stated he will accept this. As for your ex, you need to end things with him before pursuing your new relationship. If you can't end things all signs point to the fact that you are not over your ex. In that case you need to wait until you're over him before moving on and pursuing other romantic relationships.
2006-11-30 15:40:54 · answer #2 · answered by christina r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, confessions to ease your conscience are not good. if you were truly ready to give up ex and move forward with new bf then you really didn't have to tell the new boyfriend. everyone is entitled to a past.
if you had told new bf all along that you were being exclusive with him, that was lying, but if you are sure you have given up your errant ways, still no reason to tell him.
all you can do now is ask forgiveness. but, let's face it, he may never trust you again. or he may fool around to get back at you.
it's a bad scene and you should be prepared to lose new bf.
and by the way, leading ex along was not nice. you prevented him from getting on with his life and finding someone new.
2006-11-30 15:33:36 · answer #3 · answered by july 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know it is very nice not top hurt someones feelings. But to lead them on while you are dating a new guy is wrong. Firstly you are cheating your new boyfriend by sleeping with your ex. If my girl was sleeping with her ex and I found out she is history. She is not the only peanut in the packet there are many more out there. You seem very confused to who you want to be with. I find this very indecisive and immature on your part. Your New B/F seems to be the mature one by helping you cope with your break up with your ex, then you take it one step further and sleep with him while dating your new b/f. It is up to you to come clean on this one. speak to him tell him the truth and see what happens. To be quite honest If I was him I would not give you the time of day. I would send you back to your ex, because that is where you want to be. Right or Wrong?
2006-11-30 15:31:58 · answer #4 · answered by george 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if your ex is still lingering around while you are seeing this new guy and you are even having sex with him while with the guy, makes me think you still want the ex in the picture. you should have let the ex go completely when you started seeing this new guy. I dont know how to repair the damage except to tell you to be honest with the new guy and tell the old to get lost. you can't stay friends with benifits with an ex and expect to move on. Good luck ...........
2006-11-30 15:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by pirategirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to move on,,,take yourself away from the x especially for what he has done now.He is just jealous that he cant have his cake & eat it too anymore.Tell the new guy that you are going to get him out of your life completely & he can also help you do this by telling the guy to buzz off,,your with him now.It is not fair to anyone to keep the x in your life.He is an x for a reason.
2006-11-30 15:22:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey you are between a rock and a hard place..one if you were not engaged or married to either, that makes you an independent. so, to be independent, too much information, is not always the thing. honestly if a good thing, but; when you are not being honest with yourself and you are in the process of playing....then the rules change, you did not lay out the rules and now how do you fix the rules.....one dump number one *that's the old boyfriend* under the circumstances rudely... two: if you really want this relationship, tell him that you really didn't want a commitment, and then you changed your mind, and that you really like him....so on and so forth....then keep your word...
2006-11-30 15:29:45 · answer #7 · answered by tgdjm 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
repair??? Darlin'! You cheated ( in your own words) 5 times over the past 6 months you were seeing this other guy,....because you were feeling bad? It takes two to make that decison sister. Let me guess,...since you never admited this to your new boyfreind? You had no problems looking him in the eye and lying about it?
Lord have mercy woman,....you dont need advice,...you need a clue.
2006-11-30 15:29:59 · answer #8 · answered by bayreb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shoot, girl your in a bind, the only thing that will work, and I don't want to sound funny, but the truth will set you free, why don't you print out your question here, and show it to him, and then lay your heart out right there and then, tell him everything. Shoot girl if you didn't cheat you wouldn't be in this kind of bind, and now you understand that, so you might have alot of talking to do, I hope he takes you back, and understands your situation.
2006-11-30 15:22:54 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how can u date 2 peple at once? That's nasty. Tell the other dude to take a hike. You'll be hurting his feelings more by leading him on the way you are and now look what you have done. You made your bed now lay in it
2006-11-30 15:21:21 · answer #10 · answered by Jimena S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋