My son is almost 14 months old and I have been at home with him the whole time and absolutely love it but I really would like to start working again. I think it is cos we've just moved and I dont know anyone and I think it would be good for both him and me if I worked a few days? Is that selfish? How would I go about it?
2006-11-30 06:51:29 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I agree a few days would be ok for both of you, my son is at the same age and I work one day a week and sometimes pick up extra. I enjoy my time at work and as my son is with family I never have to worry about him.
I think its worked ok for me cos we don't 'need' my wage, don't get me wrong its good to have but we're not relying on it so there is no pressure.
I think the 1st year is the most important and you've done this much - well done!
I have also just moved to a new area and have made a point of going along to local mother and toddler groups to get to know people. Its not easy when you know no one but I am hoping ot make some friends out of it!!
Your not being selfish, the fact your worrying shows you are a great mother.
Good luck
x
2006-11-30 06:55:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you do decide to go to work, you should look for a part-time job, maybe 2 hours a day. But who would watch your child? If you are in a new place, you probably don't know anyone well enough to trust them with your child. I would never leave my child with someone I don't know, or even in a daycare at that age. Could your husband watch the child in the evening while you work one or two evenings a week? Raising your son is the most important job you have now. It would be better if you could find other mothers in the same situation and get together with them for a playgroup. Is there a YMCA around where they give parent/infant swimming lessons? You will meet other mothers and children that way, or through other activities. Go to your local library and see if they have story hours for tots. If you don't need to work for the money, then I would try to find other ways to meet people.
2006-11-30 07:00:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anniesgran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there! First off, congrats on wanting to go back to work. I suggest starting out part time and working your way up if you feel you and your son are both coping well enough being apart from each other. Find a good day care center (I worked in one for awhile and if they are well run that is a great option for children). He is at a great age when interaction with other kids is very important. He will know great values like sharing, getting along with people of other cultures, etc. And you will get to spend time with other adults. It is a win-win situation. Day-cares also let you call in and check on your child, and some even have it where you can check in on them on the internet on webcams now. Good luck in your decision, and congrats again!
2006-11-30 07:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by aloneinga 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish! You've been fortunate to be able to stay at home wih him for so long! With my first child I had to go back to work after 3 months, I couldn't afford not too but with my second, I've just gone back after 12 months. I loved being at home but I wanted my daughter to interact with other children (my oldest is at school) so I started taking her too nursery a few hours a week, she loved it and thrived on it so much it turned into 3 days a week so I went back to work.
Any child care you choose should been done carefully, check with your council for registered childminders and nurseries, then go and visit them (more than once!). When you find one that you think you like best, keep visiting, unannouced at different times of the day and stay for at least and hour each time. Observe what goes on etc. Ask to see ofsted inspection reports and READ THEM. When your confident you've chosen the right place, book your son in for 1 or 2 sessions a week to start with and gratually increase the time you leave him there.
When you've done that and he's settled, then look for a part-time / full time job for yourself and change his nursery / childminder hours to suit (you will need to give the nursery notice of this!)
Good luck!
2006-11-30 07:03:18 · answer #4 · answered by Chezza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it is not a matter of finances I certainly wouldn't go back to work full time if I didn't have to. But I don't think there is anything wrong with you working a few days a week if you want to. Sure you are a mom, and that comes FIRST... but you are also still a person, and you need your own time/space outside of the little one. And the extra money will be nice too!
Don't listen to ignorant people like ColoradoPsycho!!!!!! Wanting to have a life outside of your children does not mean that your kids are less of a priority. I HAVE to work and am not fortune enough to be able to stay home with my kids, it does not mean that I love or care for them less than a mother who is able to stay at home.
2006-11-30 06:55:08 · answer #5 · answered by Legs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not at all!!!!! I went back to work when my son was 15 months old. We just moved, and bought a home, and my income was needed. However, there are lots of good reasons to go back to work. And yours sounds like a good enough reason for me. It's good for your son to know other people and be around his peers. Although it may be a little bit of transition for the both of you, and won't do your son any harm what so ever. I found a job at a local daycare center, where I am able to bring my son for free. And although I'm not in the same room with him, it's nice to know he' down the hall if I'm needed. And guess what?? To my surprise, he's doing just fine without me for a couple hours a day! Do what's right for you and don't second guess yourself! Good luck to you and your little one!
2006-11-30 12:31:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it isn't wrong. You need to have a break, I know I have done it. Why not try a local creche, it brings the children on and makes them accept school lot better. You can get funding for creche in the UK, ask the local council for a list of registered child minders and creches (creches are cheaper and there are more children there which is better) then once you have found a childminder as long as you work over 16 hours you will have help with the fees. Go on do it, you'll appreciate your time with him more if you spend some time apart.
2006-11-30 08:08:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your situation. Are you financially able to stay at home and not work? You could look for a job working from home. I had to go back to work after I had my first two children, so I didn't have a choice. My third child came 12 years after my second, so I was able financially to stay home. Looking back, I think it's better to stay home with children. However, you do need some adult time as well, so even if you don't work outside the home, you should at least send your son to a moms morning out or a babysitter, and take some time for yourself.
2006-11-30 06:58:56 · answer #8 · answered by ld 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it's selfish. I work full-time and often wish I could be home everyday with my daughter. However, there are days when I'm glad to be at work with adults. Sometimes you can lose yourself in mommyhood. You are still a woman too. If you're just looking for part-time, then that's even better. I think it would do you both good. Your son is getting to the age where a little social time with other babies his age is good for him. Good luck.
2006-11-30 06:57:20 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa B 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish at all and it can be really good for your son. It will be good for you to as you can meet new people. Be prepared to feel really tired and don't work every day. 2/3 days a week part time would be ideal. I think you have to think about childcare and when your boy goes to school - can your job be flexible to allow you to take and pick up. You don't want to work just to pay the childcare.
go girl!!!!!11
2006-11-30 07:15:01 · answer #10 · answered by Janice E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋