our realtionship is falling apart how can i save it?

Question

me and my partner have a 10 mth old baby together and love each other dearly but he wants to go out all the time like 6 days a week and i feel left out and un wanted i have told him this but he feels i am being unfair and stopping him from a life as when we were at school/college together it was just us he never saw his mates and now he wants to make up for lost time. I dont mind him going out but he never does anything with me and its lonely am i in the wrong. please help we do love each other and no he is not playing away i trust him 100%.

Answer 1

You really need to make it obvious and necessary to him that you need to spend at least one night of the week together. Let him know that there is not problem to you that he goes out. You just need one night to be for both of you.The baby is not that small anymore, if you have a family member that is willing to take care of him, like grandma, explain the situation and I am sure they be willing to help.If you work try to make it a date where you invite. Men actually like that. Don't leave it up to him. Few men like making plans for a romantic time with there wife. Have the restaurant chosen, the time, etc., plan before you tell him that way he will have no excuses. If the excuse is no money, plan a walk in the beach, lake, or park. A candlelight dinner at home with his favorite food goes before the walk and the ending has to include sex. If you get it right he will love to do that ins ted of going with his friends. Eventually he will be all yours again. IT IS IN YOUR HANDS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

Honestly I have been there and done that. I think you need to continue to be honest with him about how you feel. Do not stop talking to him about it because then there is no open line of communication.
Maybe he would compromise and cut down the number of nights he is out. Maybe he could go out on Mon Wed and Fri and stay home the other nights or even take you out. I say keep trying to talk to him to resolve the issue.

Just so you know, you are not in the wrong at all. One thing I have learned is that no one can be wrong for how they feel.
He does need to compromise a bit and start making his child and you a priority. Does he want a family or does he want to run the streets the rest of his life? He can't have his cake and eat it too, unless you let him.

Answer 3

At least ONE of you is IMMATURE. You mates screwed around too young, had a baby, but he doesn't want the responsibility that comes from being a father and a "Husband". And you, you Ninny!! Why did you allow yourself to get pregnant?? Your relationship is not based on mutual love, is it? You describe him as a selfish, self centered individual that still thinks he is a child wanting to play with his friends all the time. You feel left out cause you want to go play, too , but can't because of the baby. So let me guess... getting pregnant was an "accident". Babies like you shouldn't be having babies, you Ninny!! So what do YOU do? (you can only change yourself, not others). Take a good look at that baby you two brought into this world. Being a parent is a sacrafice your "Hubby" is not prepared to make, but you better be ready, and I mean like yesterday. You do what is best for that baby, hear me!!

Answer 4

Dont' make youself so available to him when he needs it, the reason he is doing this probably is because when he does want to spend tiem with you, you're always there, or you might cancel whatever you had planned, go out with the baby to your friends or family and do things on your own, start showing that you don't rely on him and you can be happy, and he will back track and not take you for granted once he sees you can stand on your own two feet emotionally, i feel for you because i've been there and done that, but not with a baby, still it's all the same...i wish you the best of luck, feel free to email me if u need to talk about it anymore

Answer 5

I don't think he ever had the chance to grow up and being a young father may scare him a bit! He sounds like he is going to do what ever he wants and the more you disapprove of it the more you may be pushing him. I see resentment building on both parties and that is a huge warning sign in a relationship. It isn't fair to you!!!!!! He needs to own up and take responsibility for you and his baby. You might need to take charge and try scheduling things to do together in advance and say to him "I want to go to the movies sat night and had already scheduled a baby sitter and purchased the tickets in advanced so we could go out and eat before the move",etc.....be creative it wont hurt if you try. Good luck with him!

Answer 6

I don't think there is a way to save it. My wife was married before. After her and her ex got married he started going out all the time and never spent any time with her. After 2 years of marriage it ended because all the stress wasn't good. She tried talking to him. But he would still rather go out and do God knows what.

Answer 7

you partner is out there because he may feel like he's stuck in the same cycle and just wants to change the routine alittle. when he gets home tell him you'd like to go out for a drink or two with him. There are somethings that he's used to doing that you've never done with him. Find it out or create something that appeals to both of you that can be done together or with multiple people.

Answer 8

You might need a man in the family to talk to him about being a responsible father, and what it means to be a man with a baby. He sounds very immature and most likely hasn't had any male role models. He needs to grow up, but he also needs to be told by a strong male figure.

Answer 9

you really need to take action instead of sitting around and waiting for him to realize he has a family who needs him! first you should try fighting fire with fire and find activies that you and your baby can do together. get busy and make yourself happy. make new friends with other moms and spend time out with them and your family. it is not healthy for you to be isolated. also find someone you can trust to watch your baby a couple times a month and go out and have some fun, you deserve it! all the while you are doing your own thing do not even invite him. other than that treat him as you normally would. try this plan for a month or so and he should be starting to show signs of concern and curiosity about whats up with you. this is when you move on to the next step. he should bring up the subject about your blooming social life and when he does this is when you let him know that because he made no time for you and his family you empowered yourself and made yourself happy. let him know that you would rather be spending time with him as a family and that you two should come to an agreement for the both of you to take turns going out with friends. ultimately you should each help to give one another a couple times a month to be out with friends. you also need to make sure to find time for the two of you to bond as a couple and have fun together.
If he is a decent loving man he should have no problem agreeing to this plan. but should he object you need to tell him that you will give him alittle time to reconsider and in that time you should not bring up the subject. at the close of that time if he still chooses to be selfish then its time for you to move on. Kid or not you and your baby both do not deserve to come second to his social life.

Answer 10

No you are not worng. Ever now and then is OK but not 6 freakin days a week... Seem like he still thinks he is single. He has a family now and that should be more important.