A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.
"Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replies.
"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"Im afraid I cant" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"Tell him that there is no loo paper in the ladies."
There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most.What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives...
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down........
(And those of you who thought it would be a dirty ending, Pray for forgiveness you heathens!)
2006-11-30 06:34:03 · 13 answers · asked by geniuswithU 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Haha, you got me on the nun joke, funny!
Although I wasn't HOPING for a dirty ending, more like wondering where you were going with it...
2006-11-30 06:57:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can say honestly you got with me with that second one and i pray for forgivness keep em' coming
2006-11-30 15:51:15 · answer #2 · answered by katie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I've seen both of them, but you got me with the nuns...
2006-11-30 14:38:22 · answer #3 · answered by ildjb@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Freaking hilarious.
2006-11-30 14:51:27 · answer #4 · answered by Kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one, esp. the nuns story.
2006-11-30 14:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by Everyman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first joke was GROSS! The 2nd joke was FUNNY. You keep those heathens in line now, you hear?
2006-11-30 14:40:23 · answer #6 · answered by Penny Mae 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good ending.
2006-11-30 15:44:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That one was funny. Come up with some more!
2006-11-30 14:42:36 · answer #8 · answered by sexy_fla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahaha! i liked the second one better! and hey dude u got me on the second one. I'd pray for forgiveness. And thanks for making me smile.
2006-11-30 14:46:06 · answer #9 · answered by funmzire 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
real funny!
i'l giv u 10/10..
i liked d second one better, though....
2006-11-30 14:42:29 · answer #10 · answered by yusuke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋