OK here goes. Met girl on GUMTREE talked for a week on the net, I told her I was 20 when I am 18 and she is 22. Met up yesterday and I really, really, really, like her and don't want to **** things up before we actually develope something. I need this girl, or else I'll revert back to a selfconcious reck. What should I do.
2006-11-30 05:49:57 · 31 answers · asked by ANTJOHN 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should be honest with her sweetie - you seem much older than 18, and hopefully she will understand why you lied.
It is much better to come clean sooner rather than later, as if it does end because of it, you will be less hurt.
And no need to self concious, you are a lovely bloke, and I'm sure lots of girls are beating down your door!
We've got to try and stay positive about these things, who knows - maybe it'll work this time round! If not, there are always other women (me lol) :)
2006-11-30 06:31:48 · answer #1 · answered by Natyla 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, from a 23 year old woman's stand point, the best thing for you to do RIGHT NOW, is be honest with her about your age.. If she's comfortable with you being two years younger than she is, it's probable that she'll be just as comfortable with the extra two. If you don not tell her now and proceed with seeing her, when the truth comes out (And it will), she will feel a little betrayed, as by not telling her the whole time, you were lying to her the whole time. It's not favorable to build a relationship on a lie, even if it is a small one... If she likes you the way you like her, the extra two years won't matter.. Even if it doesn't work out.. You need to stop being so self concious.. If you don't believe in yourself, it's gonna be just as hard for someone else to.. GOOD LUCK
2006-11-30 06:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her straight away your real age. It doesnt really matter how you tell her - it may be easier to do it on the net as thats the way you communicate the most. I dont think it will make her go off you as you were only 2 years out, not 10! I think you'll be fine as you probably dont know a great deal about eachother yet so she's not going to be gutted. The longer you leave it the more she'll wonder what else you've lied about when she does find out!
Do it tonight - it'll be fine cos it's the right thing to do! Good luck!
2006-11-30 06:05:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her the truth immediately! The longer you wait, the worse she'll take it when she finds out your real age. Plus, if you like her and want to be with her that much, and want the relationship to have any hope of succeeding, the worst thing you can do is build that relationship on a lie.
If she leaves you because you lied to her, you'll just have to deal with it because you shouldn't have done that in the first place. At the same time though, she may not take it that hard and be willing to overlook it.
2006-11-30 05:56:44 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIrst things first: don't expect her to save you from selfconsciousness or anything else for that matter. Glad you like the internet girl, however, as you are proof positive, not everyone tells the truth on the net. Take it slow and don't put all your eggs in one basket. Try meeting someone for real, please. Oh, and for once, be honest on the net and in person. It's easy to make up a persona, but for a real relationship, you need the truth. Good luck to you.
2006-11-30 05:53:40 · answer #5 · answered by swarr2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this must be hard for you, but you have to tell her the truth. If you wait too long to do so, she'll be so much more likely to reject you because she'll think that the entire relationship has been a lie. Hopefully, she'll understand and stilll be interested in you, but if she doesn't then move on and keep looking for someone who will love the REAL you. There's somebody out there, just have faith - and no more lies.
2006-11-30 06:32:33 · answer #6 · answered by *shine* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've got to tell her now. Imagine things do go further and she wants to take you somewhere that's over 21s only?!
Its not your choice to keep this lie. you were deceptive from the start. If you lose her its your own fault. Lies get you nowhere! If you really do get on she'll probably appreciate you being man enough to hold your hands up.
Expect a little anger from her though and give her space if she needs it. If its meant to be, she'll be back! Its you, not your age that got you the lady xxxx Good luck!
2006-11-30 05:59:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need her, you just want her. You can't put that on a person, you need to not be a self-conscious reck by yourself its not her job to do that for you.
Tell her the truth as soon as possible, she will probably mind that you lied more than she will mind your age. A four year gap is not that big.
Do things that boost your confidence, and you will kill two birds with one stone. You will be more attractive to women, and you will feel less self conscious. It is you that has to do this, not her.
2006-11-30 05:56:05 · answer #8 · answered by As You Like It 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her NOW that you're 18 and it will make things so much easier. She might still like you for who you are, if not then it is better that things are out in the open now than when you have become even closer and she will feel even more hurt that you lied to her.
2006-11-30 05:52:27 · answer #9 · answered by hello772345 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you don't need a woman to be confident. When your happy with yourself it shows on the outside and thats very attactive whether your male or female.
secondly if you continue your lie the longer it goes on the more it will eat at you, and the bigger the issue will be when it all comes out!
if she likes you, age wont matter and if it does matter it was not ment to be.
you have to learn to love yourself before others can love you.
hope it all goes well !
good luck XxX
2006-11-30 06:04:13 · answer #10 · answered by skinyfrog 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋