my fav is this...
Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
A bloke can dump his load in a washing machine and it don't follow him around all week.
2006-11-30 05:34:20 · 14 answers · asked by snikleback 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
It was George the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced!
When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All of this was just too wonderful for words." He said, "But what's the dollar for"?
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said, "Screw him. Give him a dollar." "The breakfast was my idea!!"
2006-11-30 05:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by Sneeze S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown.
A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass.
Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?"
The shepherd, always the gentleman, said, "Sure!"
The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said, "352."
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."
The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"
2006-11-30 05:50:57 · answer #2 · answered by blktiger@pacbell.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three women are at the vet. The blond listens as the other two gossip about sex.
One says that she is pregnant and is going to have a girl because she was on top during conception.
The other woman agreed and said she had a boy when her husband was on the top.
The blond cried saying she was going to have puppies!
2006-11-30 05:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by elliott 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Britney Spears
2006-11-30 05:36:59 · answer #4 · answered by toff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two blokes standing by a flag pole.
A blond walks up and says " Whats up guys?"
The men reply that they have to measure the height of the flag pole.
Without delay the blond produces a set of spanners from her handbag, undoes the flagpole and lowers it to the ground. She then produces a tape measure and measures it.
"5 metres " she pronounces to the men and walks off.
" Huh! typical of a blond" says one of the men.
"What do you mean ?" says his mate.
"Well we ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
2006-11-30 05:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My favorite blonde joke is Paris Hilton.
2006-11-30 05:36:54 · answer #6 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A Bus Shelter.
And my personal favourite...
What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A Labrador.
2006-11-30 06:19:59 · answer #7 · answered by Sean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got a beautiful blond to marry me, I told her she was pregnant.
2006-11-30 06:28:09 · answer #8 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 blondes walk into a building.
You would have thought one of them would have seen it.
2006-11-30 05:36:07 · answer #9 · answered by Darth Emiras 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know if a blonde has been on your computer?
There is tipex on the screen
2006-11-30 05:40:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋