When a pushy 3-year old girl and gentle 5-yr old boy play together, the 3-year old pulls away the 5-yr-old's toys or bullies him all the time. They are not siblings - distant cousins living in the same town and so the chances of them meeting is quite frequent.
Who do I support during a conflict? The 3-year-old just because she is younger or the 5-year old because it is his toy the 3-year old is holding?
2006-11-30 05:21:36 · 6 answers · asked by Tanya 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I agree with LoriBeth, in that the child who is learning it's ok to be cruel, needs to Un-learn it. Age doesn't make any difference... what the child needs to learn is to share, show consideration, and to be kind. If the child cannot play nice with other children, do not let the child play-- give them a time out for the corner, etc.
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2006-11-30 05:31:06 · answer #1 · answered by twowords 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Neither. What you should do is talk to them both about the importance of sharing. Role play for the 3 year old a better way to ASK for the toy instead of taking it. The first time try it when the 5 year old says no, but he'll pass it along when he is done playing with it, or asks the 3 year old to play with the toy with him. Another time, try it with the 5 year old saying OK, and passing the 3 year old the toy.
Children will understand so much better with a demonstration, and you may see an improvement over time.
2006-11-30 06:05:16 · answer #2 · answered by Meesh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three years old is not that young. She is old enough to learn that when you want something, you ask for it in a certain way. This little girl will not improve on her own. She needs to be shown the proper way to ask for things. There is no question of "supporting" her because she will only learn that her behavior gets her what she wants and she will have no incentive to stop. If you feel comfortable doing this, take away the toy she has grabbed and gently but firmly explain to her that she has to ask for it in a certain way before taking it - and she has to wait for the boy to say YES. Give her a concrete example of the language to use, since she will obviously not know how to do it on her own. (May I play with this please?) Make sure the 5-year old is also following that example with borrowing the younger one's toys.
If this is not your child and you are not comfortable teaching her, even although this is gentle, you may wish to consider how frequently the children's interaction occurs. There is no need for the 5-year old to be subjected to this behavior just because no one is interested in teaching the 3-year old how to behave properly.
2006-11-30 05:49:18 · answer #3 · answered by WifeMommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the five year old is yours and the three year old isn't. Where is the three year old girl's mother when this happens? If she's there she should be the one disciplining her daughter. Three year olds grabbing toys doesn't mean they are pushy but that behavior should be corrected by the mother. Try discussing it with her mother.
2006-11-30 05:38:17 · answer #4 · answered by Miriam Z 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what can i say ...kids will be kids... i have a 7 year old and a 3 year old and they do the same thing, all w ecan do is keep an eye on them so they dont hurt each other.
2006-11-30 05:24:44 · answer #5 · answered by joey h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't matter who is what age, any kid that is being mean to another kid should be diciplined. there will often be times that you'll have to do it to both of them at the same time, but they both have lessons that need to be learned.
2006-11-30 05:25:23 · answer #6 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋