i have a bf that i have been with for 3 yrs. we have broke up like 20 times but still trying to make it work. we have had so many problems. i really do love this guy and would marry him if he showed more potential. i do know he loves me but im tired of everthing being a problem. he lives with me and we have a problem about everthing. when he suppose to give me money on the bills he takes his time. we go days sometimes without sex. he use to be on time from work, now he has to work a few hrs late. he doesnt play with me ,like love play, he stares at other women, he goes to bed early every weekend but when he is out he stays up late. he has lied about things before. now i want to be with him but i need to be loved or experience a man in a intimate way whether its mental or physical. i feel like having an affair to get these things cuz im only human. what do i do? even if i just go out on a date. i want to feel special with a man. i feel special to myself but i want this with a man. help
2006-11-30 05:20:16 · 30 answers · asked by eaglestraces123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
first let him know how you feel ..if he doesnt change then dump him if hes one of those guys where you cant break up with..(my boyfriend) just cheat hes asking for it by not making you happy you told him already whats going on
2006-11-30 05:27:38 · answer #1 · answered by ♫♥♪♬♥♪Try Me♫♥♪♫♥♪♬ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't have an affair, it will only complicate things. Plus, it doesn't solve the problem. The problem isn't the boyfriend, it's how you feel about yourself and your need to be with him.
Not to be judgmental, but why are you really with this guy? You've mentioned a number of things about him that would keep any woman away from a man with these same qualities. You say you feel "special to myself." I don't agree: If you loved yourself more, you would not settle for someone who treats you so indifferently.
Break up with this guy AND STAY GONE. Take some time to REALLY learn about and love yourself. Until you do, there's not a man on the planet that will make you happy or make you feel complete. Having an affair at this point is just a short term, poor solution to a long term serious problem.
2006-11-30 13:27:33 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why cheat on him? You said that but i still don't really see WHY people wanna cheat. If you're not happy move on. If you're having a problem with everything that's NOT a good thing. You shouldn't get married. Find someone that will give you everything you want. You'll know it's the right person cuz you'll never want to fight about anything he'll NEVER lie and would never make you wanna have an "affair" just to feel special. Think about what you're doing and NEVER CHEAT. If you do that then that's 3 yrs. of you're life wasted with someone you're apparently not even that committed to. So why get married. It'll be hard after years but from the way things sound you need to move on. Sry.
2006-11-30 13:29:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you should just break up with the BF and then date other people, it's obvious you two love each other, ubt you have different wants needs and priorities. You two obviously don't want to work at this relationship, and by the way the average married couploe only has sex once to twice a month after 3 years. Days is nothnig dear. Sounds like you just want to get some good sex and he (I don't know what his priorities are).
You can love a person and just not be able to be together. Maybe it's time you two called it quite, but having an affair is no way to go. To cheat on someone is to not love them plain and simple anyone that says diferent is just trying to convince themselves not to move on.
2006-11-30 13:27:08 · answer #4 · answered by cisco_cantu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having an affair is never the answer. If you're not happy with this guy and he's not meeting your needs then let it go. It doesn't sound like he's happy either. Sometimes it's better to cut your loses and move on. There's someone out there who will treat you good and you can feel connected to. Good luck.
2006-11-30 13:30:54 · answer #5 · answered by fungirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to wake up and smell the coffee....this relationship just isn't meant to be...no...you should not have an affair...you should end this relationship and eventually find another. Your wasting your time with this one!! You can't change what a person is made of.....This is who he is...you'll either have to love him and accept him the way he is, or let him go....if you've split that many times, and have that many problem in your relationship, why would you even want to stay in it....Move on!!! There is someone out there to make you feel the special feeling you desire..he's just not it!
2006-11-30 13:26:07 · answer #6 · answered by Shelly B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think that you need to have an affair! You need to let this man go and move on with your life. I feel that you should not only love a person you're with...You should be in love with the person also. And if you two are having a difficult time living with each other, than that tells me that you both need to move on. Why stay in a relationship when you're unhappy? Do you need the stress everyday? It is time to move on! This is my opinion!!!
2006-11-30 13:30:44 · answer #7 · answered by Child of God 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not time for an affair. It is time to clean all the dustballs out of your place.. and I mean the big one who is cluttering up your life.
Do not do anything stupid... Take care of the problem at hand first, which is having him move out.
It is time for you to move on to something else, as you have outgrown this overgrown child.. He will not change and you can waste your whole life waiting for it to happen. sometimes we just have to let go.. even if you love him... you will be forever on an emotional roller coaster as Long s you are with him.
Do not be a bad person, clean house first, then find someone else to date.
2006-11-30 13:25:43 · answer #8 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok if your having sex at least once a week thats really good. if not your still ok. now you have to understand that there is no perfect intimate man. it may seem so in newly developed relationships but every one knows that all men are going to change sooner or later. it doesn't mean men are bad its just the way it is. if you ask me from what i've read you two already live like a married couple. welcome
2006-11-30 13:37:04 · answer #9 · answered by Vincenzo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't have an affair if you aren't married. Just find someone you can get along with better. Dating, no matter for how long with the same person, is still dating. If it don't work move on.
2006-11-30 13:30:29 · answer #10 · answered by Strike2? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back and read your own question with clear eyes. This relationship is not for you!!! You are unhappy. Kick him out, or leave him and you will see what you have for him is not love, but comfort and familiarity. Don't cause more drama in your life by being involved with someone else sexually. Just get rid of your bf and find someone suitable.
2006-11-30 13:26:55 · answer #11 · answered by babyred 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋