Date a woman with children?

Question

Men, honestly. . . what is your stand on this.
I'm a single mother and I feel like I'm
starting over with a whole new set of limitations on
who'lll even want to date me. . .where as before I didn't ever
feel there were limitations.

What do you think ???

Answer 1

Hi, there! I personally had nothing against dating women with children, since I love kids and want a family of my own (something my wife and I are presently working on). After my first break-up with a single mother, however, I at first was leery to get into another relationship with anyone with kids: When you and mommy break up... there's the hearache of missing (and hurting, by way of leaving) their child. But that's the only negative I can think of from the guy's side.

From your side, I see only positives. You see, most men who are willing to tackle a double-relationship (you and your child) are someone who's willing to take risks. And if they're tender and considerate to your child while DATING you, chances are pretty good that they'll continue to behave the same if things get serrious. If the man in quesiton doesn't mind that sometimes he can't have you all to himself, again, it's a strong parental trait that'll carry over if the two of you make the next step. You're basically seperating the men from the boys by having a kid--it's like a built-in quality filter! It follows that you won't get as many interested people... but you only need one good 'un, right? Some things are worth waiting for.

In fact, if you check out the profiles of many women in Online dating circles (you can often read profiles for free, but have to pay to respond to them), you'll see many other single mothers just like yourself--as a matter of fact, I highly recommend sites like Match.com as a way of selecting people: You'll already know the basics before even sending them the first "hello," and only meet in person when you're comfortable with whoever you start Emailing or IMing. They only know what you choose to allow them to, so as the comfort level builds, so can the personality of the conversations. Hey, it beats the bar! And it's how I met my wife. We have no children yet... but like I mentioned, we're working on it! Life's good now! (By the way, one of my mother's close, younger, friends met her husband on the very same website, and they're doing great... now that I think about it, she used to be a single parent, as well.)

The best of luck to you, and keep that chin up!
You'll be alright.

Answer 2

Dear Fory,

Unfortunately society has realy vilified the single mom! There is a long standing, though erroneous concept, that single moms have an extreme amount of baggage. If you stop to ponder you can see why this has come about.

The fact that you are single with a child or chidren indicates that you have had relationship problems in the past, hence you would not be single. Men are too lazy and irresponsible, for the most part, to cope with the added responsibility to at least become good role models to your kids, while they date you. Most men automatically assume you are 'husband fishing' and that you will use your sexual favors as bait to reel them in. I know what I am saying sounds ludicrous, but it is the truth, take it from a man who has seen past the social conditioning that makes most men react the way they do in similar situations. Men feel their relationship with you will be limited and subject to the dsemands of motherhood and all the responsibilities that come with it.

You, on the other hand, have to define what it is you are looking for in a relationship. Are you in it for the sex, the company, finding a prospective candidate to support your offspring or a life partner to share the responsibility of parenting with. Many times there can be a misinterpretation of your intentions. You should, as you see fit, let your future dates know what they are up against in order to not scare them off and to find what you are looking for ip so facto.

I wish you the best! Chin up and be proactive in your quest for a meaningful relationship for you and your kids.

Answer 3

Honey it all depends on how young the children are. Some men love kids, while othetrs could not stand to bring up someone elses children. I for instints did date a girl with a beautiful baby girl. Unfortunatly it never worked out, she wasn't sure what she wanted for her and her baby. I guess I could not give what she needed at the time. I was hurt and we broke up. This is why I don't date women with children anymore. The best thing for to do do is date a man with kids. You will both have a lot in common with the same types of responsibilities. A man with no children will never understand what it is loke to be a parent. The experience is not there. You will be bored with him or become frustrated quickly. A man with kids will understand when you say I must do homework with my kid tonight therefore i can't go out tonight. A person without will think you are brushing him off and eventually get tired of the situation and leave.

Answer 4

When I was younger I dated a girl that had a child. I was 20, she was 19 and her son was 4. It was a little odd dating a girl that young that had a child but it really wasn't that big of a issue to me till he started to call me "dad". His father took off right after she got pregnant and I don't think he had ever seen him. Once that started I knew it was time to call it off, I was to young for that and not ready.
You just need to find a man that isn't intimidated by that. Now that I am single with a daughter I am going ot be facing that same type of situation. I don't really see it as a limitation, rather as a way of seeing who would be worth the time.
Good luck to ya!

Answer 5

I am a single mother of 1 and for me I have fun dating. I mean your going to always deal with guys that think it's easy as pudding because you have a child or children so it's easy to get the panties but then you have men that respect the fact that you are holding it down and taking care of business on your on. It's going to be hard. U just make sure the man that you are dating is man enough to deal with the fact you have child if he doesn't then he needs to move on. If he can't respect you then you know he will not respect your kids.

Answer 6

I know you are kinda asking more for a man's p.o.v...but here's mine anyway. for the longest time after my separation i would only date guys without kids...then when i decided i was ready for something more serious...i noticed that the ones without couldn't be serious about a relationship. so i started dating men that had kids...they seemed to be more understanding about single parenthood and the things you go through. They understand you can't go out at the drop of a hat, that you cant go out for those late nite booty calls, and they understand that when things come up your kids come first...b/c if they are any kind of a good single father, they will be the same when it comes to their kids.

you learn to adjust your personal life against your mother responsibilities. if the father is involved and has visitation...use that time to go out on dates, go have fun, and let loose. the reason you feel you have limitations now is b/c you weren't a single mother before...now you are....that changes everything and changes your priorities.

hope that makes sense....

Answer 7

Before remarrying a woman with one child I dated women with three and four children. I did not view the children as a negative. Most people worth having a relationship with already have kids. It's all part of the package. You likely will find that a man with kids of his own from a prior marriage is more receptive, as opposed to a man who has never had children.

Answer 8

Very true. Some men absolutely won't date a woman with kids, and others will "work it" for a while just to get the booty and then disappear on you. You're safest bet is to find a single father.

Answer 9

When I was single (I had no kids) I would NEVER EVER even consider dating a woman with kids - I know that makes a shitehead with a lot of people, but you asked my stand.

Don't despair though there are lots of guys out there that I'm sure would find you attractive, and fun to be with. Guys with a kid or kids already will be a lot more tolerant of your child than non-Dads.

Answer 10

Can't deny the facts...you've got baggage now. If you're in it just for the fun, then you'll probably have takers, but if your looking to get serious and have a committed relationship with a guy who will want some involvement with the kids...that's a whole different story.