Can anyone offer any suggestions for my son?

Question

He just turned 7, and he is very silly a lot of the time and has a short attention span. The teachers are trying to get me to medicate him--which I am totally against! (Yes, I do think in some cases it is needed) In my opinion, he is an average little boy who is very active and full of energy. Well, his teacher keeps e-mailing me telling me his "silliness" is getting worse and she wants me to suggest a way to help him stay on task at school. I have talked with him, and she has too...but it remains a problem. Does anyone have any ideas on how I could remind him that when he's at school he needs to listen and not play? Thank you.

Answer 1

give hime a reward chart. Have a conference with the teacher and set up a chart where she will give hime a sticker for being good in class. At the end of the month if he has achieved a certain amount of stickers he recieves a award that you two determine. My mother did this for me and it worked. She also did the medicine thing and that tended to make me lose my appetite and depress me.

Answer 2

A couple ideas
1) A recent study shows that kids thought to have ADHD are really suffering from sleep apnea. Does your child snore? The study stated that children with enlarged tonsils and adenoids have been exhibiting classic ADHD symptoms but are really sleep deprived.
2) Try the caffeine approach as suggested in an earlier answer, that was my Mom's approach with me. Today, amongst other things, I have a master's in Physics, so it must have worked.
3) My son has similiar issues, one approach we are trying to do is give him more structure and also an outlet for his silliness. He goes to gymnastics to at least learn how to fall right and swimming, avoid team sports where he may want to show off. We are also going to look for summer program for theater to maybe teach him some focus and discipline. I am trying for the approach that if he is going to act up, he should learn to do it right and learn when the right time is.
4) Teachers are also not doctors despite what they may think. I would demand a proper referral from a school psychiatrist and demand that your child be watched by a behavior therapist first.
5) Also easy tests for short attention span, can he do a puzzle (50-100 pieces)? How about build a lego set from the instructions. Can he read a chapter book, at least 15-20 minutes? He might just be bored silly in school.

Answer 3

First of all please rule out any medical reasons for this behavior. Take him to a doctor. If he checks out fine then here is my suggestion to you:

Tell him the next time this happens and the teacher has to call you there will be NO T.V. that day. ( OR whatever else he enjoys can be substituted for No T.V. ) And stick to it.

Change the discipline every couple of weeks because after a while he might begin not to miss watching T.V. so use other sources. Maybe no ice cream for dessert, or no going outside to play , no friends allowed over, no phone calls etc.

Make a behavior chart and put stars only on the days he behaves appropriately. ( Weekly Charts work the best) Every time he has a Perfect star week reward him with something really special. Not expensive, just special. Have a mom and son day, where he picks the activities for you both to do together that day. Or allow a sleepover with his best buddy...etc.

Also try putting jigsaw puzzles together, He has to sit still to do this but it is a lot of fun (age appropriate and character appropriate too. ) Or building with Lego or blocks. After this quiet playtime together, go out and do something that burns off a lot of energy, like tag football, or basketball, riding bikes, etc.

One other little tidbit of advice. NO CAFFEINE! Limit chocolate and high sugar foods and drinks. You will be amazed at the difference in him. Water and Kool-aid ( which you determine how much sugar to put in ) are still favorites.

I hope this helps you.

Good Luck! and Good for you for not immediately putting him on MEDS.


Thanks for asking the question.

Answer 4

Have the school test him for learning dissabilities. If he is having trouble, he may be acting silly to cover it up. The school is required by law to test him free of charge. I agree with you on medicating at this point. If it is proven that he has adhd and no other ideas are helping, then consider medicating. Sometimes something as simple as having a one on one during school, is all it takes. The school should be able to provide some one to be in the classroom all or part of the day. They would just remind him to get back to work if he starts acting up. There are several things to try before medicating, but stay open to the idea that sometimes medication is needed. Hopefully in your son's case it won't be. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I wouldn't medicate him either!!Can you change schools or teach him at home? I know its hard, I have a VERY active 6 yr old boy and I've just been waiting for some teacher to say somthing. His present teacher acknowledges that he definetly has an attention deficit problem. Is you son's teacher young? inexperenced? Can you take this problem to the principal or discuss with other teachers that perhaps oversee your child at recess, you know, get a second opinion. Also what does your pediatrition say??

Answer 6

Personally I think the reason so many kids "need" medication is that school is not designed for little kids. Kids are just not made to sit at desks and listen quietly to the teacher.

You might try taking away television and changing his diet (http://www.littlesugaraddicts.com). Both television and sugar have adverse effects on attention, as do video games and other forms of electronic entertainment.

But in general that might just be normal for him. That's why we are homeschooling, but I don' t know if that's an option for you or something you would consider.

Answer 7

personal expirience, do not listen to the teacher, I am gonna tell you why? I am fron Dominican Republic, we dont have those issues back home, here teachers are lazy, and they want to be calling parents for everything, do not let them to medicate your child, it is a very sad situation, spent time and more time with your child, talk, and talk, talk, and never get tired, you could help him get out of that behavior, all kids go trough that, but they think is a big issue, they have energy, a lot to burn, so try to make the time to be with him, and let him tell you what he thinks about everything, build a good comunication with him, and you see he is not going to behave like that for too long, my mom always give this advice, she said my job as a mother doesnt have a due date, my child is 22, and is my only child, going back to the medication part I am a inmigrant that been trough a lot of jobs, and one of the main ones was babysitting, and I see so many kids medicated, just because the teacher saids, or because the mom wants a quick solution.

Answer 8

Rewarding for good behaviour is a good suggestion, but if you and the teacher can't see eye to eye on this then I would think medication would be a good idea.......for the teacher.

My son is the same age as your son and he also has a difficult time paying attention and staying on task in school. So do alot of other boys at that age. It is completely natural.

Answer 9

Have you tried omega 3 and excluding additives from his diet?

I agree with you that he's probably just a normal boy with loads of energy, but there is evidence tosuggest that problems like this (not knowing when to stop) have something to do with dietary deficiencies. Cut out aditives for a month or two and introduce omega 3 suplement, aswell as doing reward charts etc etc. You'll soon see a difference.

The teacher sounds useless - ask for a meeting with her and the headteacher to come up with a strategy between you and the school. It's supposed to be a parent-school partnership, not you telling them how to deal with him - they have the training, after all!

Answer 10

Famous funnyman actor Jim Carrey was the same way in his school--his teacher actually made time for him at the end of class to be silly in front of everyone.

Sorry...my stepson was the same way and he was medicated and it did nothing for the behavior which has to be reinforced not only at home but also at school. Some teachers just don't want to take extra time or make extra effort for the kids that need the most help, ya know?

Answer 11

My son is silly but only at home. He doesn't act out at school but my eldest son did. This may sound funny but I gave him a cup of coffee in the morning and then at lunch he had coffee {not strong!} and it mellowed him out. Coffee puts me to sleep. It has the exact opposite effect on us. I also teach my son to do deep breathing. When he feels an attack coming on he knows to sit down take a few deep breaths. It calms him right down. Last year they wanted him on meds and this year he's perfect. Maybe he's sitting next to kids that are the same way and they all feed off of each other. Of course your son may be feeding off of this teacher who complains about him. He may know he can get under his skin. It's probably not too fun to be singled out though. I was try some calming exercises. You can find them on the internet. It will help. Tell him if he behaves that when he gets home [or on the weekend if you work] he and you can play ball or something he likes.
Give him stickers for good days. Just acknowledge that he's a good boy and he needs to behave in school. He'll be ok.