Well this is the Question?... I have a Christmas Party for my company and I asked if I can go?...He said "You know my answer" but "do what you wanna do"...the company I work for hands out bonuses on that day, but the catch is you must attend...
and I dont see anything wrong with going as long as I conduct myself appropriatly....and come home at a reasonable hour.......tell me people what to do??
2006-11-30 04:46:38 · 29 answers · asked by sarapereznj 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Im 25 ... Im a Christian... and there were certain rules before I could live there..One was ..I must ask before going somewhere...
2006-11-30 04:54:18 · update #1
Im staying at the apstors House because he is my fiances brother and we are not alowed to live together until we are married.. so since I just moved out to florida..they said I can stay there till feb when i get married instead of renting...
2006-11-30 04:56:27 · update #2
Please dont get me wrong I love My Pastor..but his reaction was not what i expected
2006-11-30 04:58:26 · update #3
Hi there.
With all due respect to your pastor, his position in relation to you is, as the Bible says in 1 Peter 5:3, as one who is not to lord it over you, but to be an example to you. You have ultimately been called into relationship with God through Jesus Christ and in situations such as this you should be seeking the Lord (first & foremost) for guidance. That does not mean that you should ignore advice from any godly person, but be sure to test it against the Bible and in prayer to the Lord.
May I kindly ask you how close your walk is with the Lord ? Do you know the word of God and the God of the word well ? That's the most important thing. Concentrate on developing your relationship with Him and then you will be in a far better position to discern what the best course of action is in situations such as this.
If you feel that the Lord has (somehow) indicated that it is ok to go, then I suggest that you politely tell your pastor that is the case while thanking him for his concern. It might be a good idea to take a Christian sister along with you as a chaperone. Someone who will be there to keep you from (possibly) falling into temptation. Also, be sure to commit the evening to God in prayer before you go. You never know, he may provide opportunities for you to witness.
If you feel that the Lord has shown you that it would not be right to go on this occasion, then obey. Forget about the bonus. It's far more important to be obedient. Your obedience may provide you with an opportunity to witness for Christ, too.
In regard to the possibility of your pastor being a controlling person - his answer of "do what you wanna do" while also expressing his concern seems to indicate that is not the case. However, watch out for any Christian (pastor or otherwise) that tries to impose upon you restrictions which are not clearly laid out in the Bible. Don't refuse godly advice, but be sure to test it !
So, in summary, please concentrate on developing your relationship with the Lord through reading the word & prayer and let Him guide you in all things.
Proverbs 3:5,6.
May God bless you.
2006-11-30 05:28:15 · answer #1 · answered by Carlito 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are so many things that raise a red flag here I do not know where to begin. What will be your brother-in-law's role once you are married? You and your husbands' pastor? Does anyone else in the church need the pastor's permission to make moral decisions? Is there a denominational board or council that this church is part of? Short answer, if I were in your situation I would stay in a woman's shelter or with the Salvation Army or some other place until my wedding day. There are too many control issues.
2006-11-30 13:24:58 · answer #2 · answered by higherground_pastor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hard for us to interpret the situation just from what you say.
We don't know if you are over 18, but I'll assume you are.
Your pastor has been kind enough to help you out. Don't pay any attention to the dirty minded people who are making lewd suggestions.
You asked him a question, he wants to answer you hoestly: He doesn't personally approve of those office parties. He may have good reasons. But he is not preventing you, or trying to prevent you from going. Perhaps, because of what he perceives goes on there, he is not very happy about you being there because he sincerely cares for your well-being.
I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here, and assuming he is not a legalistic holier-than-thou type.
In whatever case, I think it is appropriate for you to show respect for him. If you feel you should go, then go. But it would be wise to come in early. Talk with him to make it clear that you respect him and his views, as well as his concern - that you don't want him to think you are going out to "booze it up".
If he is anti-alcohol in his views, and if you don't share his views, I would suggest you put off using alcohol until you are no longer under his roof. That would not be a very great sacrifice to make. You would not be making a statement, just respecting the feelings of someone who is possibly being a bit of a second father to you.
2006-11-30 13:02:54 · answer #3 · answered by Mr Ed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does this mean that if you go you get kicked out of the house?
If so then don't go. If not, go put be careful am respectful to your pastor, after all he's helping you get back on your feet.
It sounds as if your having (or had) a problem with partying, or drinking? If so, you can still go without big partying and late nights. I too had to deal with the same sort of thing. It's much more rewarding when you obey the rules.
2006-11-30 13:00:00 · answer #4 · answered by stpolycarp77 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your pastor is worried about bad association(remember Paul's words " do not be misled bad association spoils useful habits") If your company is handing out bonuses at a Christmas party that's discrimination, what about the Jewish employees, the Hindus, Buddhist etc, and call them on that. I'm sure you will get your bonus then. If you are living with someone its best to follow the rules of the house.
2006-11-30 12:55:21 · answer #5 · answered by Janos 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1. Why would you need his permission to attend an employer event?
2. What does he think will happen there? I have never attended a company party that lived up to the legends. They are almost always boring obligatory events that Ileave as soon as possible.
3. Never accept help with strings which include controlling you like an infant. Never give up control of your own life, ever.
2006-11-30 13:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well he said do what you want to do, so go ahead.
I am a bit concerned that you are 25 and have to ask permission, but respect you for following house rules and your pastor's authority
I hope that this guy is a pastor who is following the full council of God. What kind of church is it that he pastors?Is it a Christian bible believing church? Does anyone else live there with you guys?
2006-11-30 13:07:09 · answer #7 · answered by redeemed 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why is he controlling u? he has no right to control u, and this could get even worse when u get married. i suppose u need the place to stay but no way in hell (pardon the phrase) he gets to tell u what to do. go to the party. careful of this guy. pastor or not he does no seem like a good person. permission to leave? ur not his prisoner, and if u feel that way u should get out of there quick.
ur love for him may be misplaced. no one who controls u like that deserves to be loved that much.
careful.
2006-11-30 22:28:18 · answer #8 · answered by implosion13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're living there, but he doesn't own you.
I would conduct myself the way I always do & I would attend the party.
Not just because of the bonus but because it's fun.
2006-11-30 12:52:31 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would give some hard thought to marriage to this man's brother. He seems to be a control freak, and he may try to control your whole marriage.
Go to the party. He has no right to treat you this way----no right at all.
2006-11-30 13:42:20 · answer #10 · answered by Shossi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋