In the summer of 2005 I started dating this great guy. We both had just ended multi- year relationships with other people, but we thought we would give it ago. When things started to speed up faster then we thought... we both decided it was best to take a leap back so we could deal w/ our feelings that still exsist towards are previous relationships. I didn't hear from him again until Apr of this yr. We started dating again & things were great. Except for the fact his mom was diagnosed w/ cancer last Jan. His family is really close & you could see that it was eating away at him. Who thinks at 24, that your 50 year old mother may die. Its a horrible situation and shes a sweet lady. Back to our relationship, we fell in love with each other. We live about an hr apart w/ traffic but still managed to see ec other 4x a week. I love him so much & believe I was blessed just to know him. I thought he felt the same. In Oct he ended our relationaship. I want him back. What do u think I shoud do?
2006-11-30 04:39:55 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know it is hard losing someone that you care about and feel that you would want to spend the rest of your life with him. I suggest that you keep in touch and let him know that you are here for him no matter what the circumstance might be. Feelings are sometimes difficult to handle especially when the person you know you love with all of your heart is gone. Just stay strong and try to keep in contact with him. Be his support even though you and him are not in a romantic interlude he needs people that he can count on and be there for him when he is at his breaking point especially with his mother ill and all.
You have to also spend some time on yourself. Your esteem is low because you have lost someone and something that consumed a lot of your time because you were investing your feeling, emotions, time, and money into a relationship that you thought had potential. Work on your esteem and yourself. Finally, talk to him tell how you feel about him and you.
2006-11-30 04:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by Rodney Williams 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably under a lot of pressure about his mother right now. When guys are feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, the first thing they get rid of, sadly, is usually a relationship.
Normally I think that you should just move on and date other people casually, see if he comes back in a couple months because they usually do. However, in this case, I think you should write him a letter or an email and tell him that you care about him and want to be there for him during this time in his life. I don't know if it will work, but at least you've offered your support and love for him to accept as he wishes. Maybe he never thought of you as someone he could lean on and wanted to spare you from the turmoil.
Best wishes!
2006-11-30 04:44:37 · answer #2 · answered by Liz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. Find out why he ended the relationship. Is is because he doesn't have the same feelings for you that you have for him? Or is it because he is feeling overwhelmed with his mother's illness? Because you two don't live that close to each other maybe he feels that it is just too much to handle right now. (I know an hour drive isn't that far, but that's 2 hours out of your day just driving) With his mother being ill, he may need to spend more of his time helping her. If that's the case, offer to help out too... you can make meals that the family can just heat up during the week, help clean her house, or just offer to spend time with her.
There is always the possibility that the thought of losing his mother is so painful to him, that he is distancing himself from anyone else that he loves to save himself the pain of losing them too.
Even if he doesn't want to resume your relationship at this point, just be there for him. If he doesn't want your help with mom, then give him a call every once in a while(not everyday though) just to make sure he is doing OK. When he is ready to get back to his life, then he will know that you are there for him and that you truly care about him. Just have patience. Good luck.
2006-11-30 04:48:54 · answer #3 · answered by MELISSA B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What were the reasons he gave for the break up? Was it he needed time to deal with things or was it an issue of problems between you two? If it was problems between the two of you, you may want to move on. If it was a matter of him having too many problems to deal with an relationship, I would go ahead take that step back and give him the space that he needs. allow him to go threw what he's going threw and let him know that you will be there from him whenever he needs you and actually be there for him when he needs you. Whether or not you want to wait around for him and how long is entirely up to you and your feelings for him. It would be easy to say cut your loses and move on but we all know how it is when you fall in love with someone just moving on and getting over it is not that easy. and it doesn't sound like that is what you are wanting to do. Either way Good Luck to you!
2006-11-30 04:47:43 · answer #4 · answered by Songbird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What reason did he give you? If he really doesn't want a relationship with you, there's nothing you can do about it. But you do have the right to fully understand why he made that decision. I'd talk to him in a calm manner until you get some closure. It could be that with everything going on in his life he feels overwhelmed and it stepping back from things he has control over - because there's a lot going on that he cannot control. Good luck.
2006-11-30 04:42:55 · answer #5 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it depends on the reason why he ended the relationship. If he doesn't share the same feelings as you do, or if he just doesn't truly love you, then regardless of how you feel towards him, you have to let him go. If he does reciprocate your feelings, then just give him time. I too had a parent die of cancer, and nothing in life can be harder to deal with. Good luck!
2006-11-30 04:47:48 · answer #6 · answered by eh! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one because I'm not sure Why he ended the relationship. But if it was because of his mom, then you need to just let him be there for her. Having someone diagnosed with cancer at such a young age is hard for anyone but for a son and it being his mom, it 's different because sons and moms have a unbreakable bond. He may feel she needs his FULL attention and you just need to let him know that if he needs someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on you will be there for him. IF it was because of another woman then you need to leave him alone completely and start to pull your life together without him. I hope this helps. Take care.
2006-11-30 04:47:39 · answer #7 · answered by ga_gyrl91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call him up and go out to eat or something Just go as friends and dont start anything too quickly. After you spend some time together tell him how you feel and if he feels the same way your relationship could start again. Good Luck!!
2006-11-30 04:45:01 · answer #8 · answered by Marcella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's really overwhelmed and probably not able to deal with the situation with his mother and having a girlfriend at the same time. I would move on. If he comes back into your life (and you're single), then it's wonderful. But 24 is REALLY young for a guy, and it sounds like he's just got too much to deal with. As hard as it is, try not to take it too personally and move on.
2006-11-30 04:43:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything you can do at this point except maybe be a friend and help him with his feelings about his mother. If it's meant to be, he'll come back to you again. If it's not, then you're better off knowing now. Date some new guys. Maybe you'll find someone who is perfect for you.
2006-11-30 04:43:40 · answer #10 · answered by Sarah M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋