It seems like guys I talk to are always talking about snuggling and cuddling and all that stuff. I find that akward to discuss with someone I haven't met yet. I think it is important too but I think there should be a time for that after you get to know a person. Guys who start out talking about that creep me out and I tend to avoid them. I am a 40 year old woman and the men are talk to are in their 40's or 50's but they seem to be on the same maturity level as a teenage boy. How to I let them know I enjoy those things too but am not interested in getting touchy feely with a guy I don't even know, that's just weird. Should I just delete them?
2006-11-30 04:06:02 · 9 answers · asked by reallyfedup 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is dating etiquette, but the problem is that most boys/men are no longer taught it by their parents when they are growing up. Everything they learn is from TV, friends and now the Internet. Manners, patience and proper conduct just are not high on the social norms any longer for most people. Being 40 you no doubt remember when holding hands in public was a big deal, but all you have to do is drive by a high school now days and they are crawling all over each other.
As far as the men that are talking about snuggling and cuddling, they are just trying to use words that they think women are wanting to hear when in reality they just want a date with someone that wants to be physically close and try more from there. Yes, you should delete and look for guys that are more interested in getting to know you and see if the two of you click before anything physical.
2006-11-30 04:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have good instincts. I agree that it does sound a lot teenager-ish. It seems to me that a 40 year old man who's talking about "snuggling and cuddling" with a woman he's never met is a person who has lost in love in the past for a reason. He doesn't know how to behave in an adult relationship, and so he goes to the stereotypical baseline: "Women like 'cuddling and snuggling', so if I let her know I like those things too, she won't think I just want to sleep with her and will see me as a 'sensitive guy." Sounds like you've found a few 40 year old boys. Keep looking. There are men out there.
2006-11-30 04:14:23 · answer #2 · answered by lizardmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand you. I feel the same way. Unfortunately I think its just society. All ages are spiraling downward into this intense obsession with "immediate physical intimacy".
You have to understand we now live in a world that promotes booty-calls, friends with benefits, and one night stand affairs. For every one female that wants to take things slow you have three others telling the man all systems go.
I usually just shut down the conversation upfront. Don't entertain the convo if you don't feel comfortable. Be honest with the men and tell them what you feel comfortable with and the pace you're willing to go. Don't waste time entertaining their "wants" without feeling worthy enough to share your own as well. If they cannot respect your requests then you are better off letting them know up front and moving on to someone who is better suited and willing to recognize your worth in all of its essence.
2006-11-30 04:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by The First Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, they are not immature, just human. Most people desire that type of affection. Sounds to me like you may be a little frigid. Now, if these guys were saying they wanted more, that would be a little much. But snuggling feels good, try it!
2006-11-30 04:10:35 · answer #4 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, that is kind of weird... I wouldn't feel comfortable getting close to someone I don't know or haven't dated a few times...
I'm assuming that since they are older they might be a little desparate for closeness... Just be honest and let them now that you enjoy that also, but in do time...
Good luck!!!
2006-11-30 04:12:30 · answer #5 · answered by Milkywayman22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best way is for this country to start raising Ladies again instead of women. But you hit on part of it when you mentioned boys.
Date men instead of boys, but rmemebr both come in all ages.
Men are intrested in only one woman.
Boys want to play with all the toys.
2006-11-30 04:10:28 · answer #6 · answered by bubbles_grandpa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im 53 and that it is (as far as i have found) normal to talk about what you like to do ---- i think we feel that we are mature enough to discuss most things especially physical matters --- we have all been there and done that -- we know what we like and are looking for someone like minded
delete them if you are uncomfortable but most i suspect will talk the same
saying that i dont do that with my lady she feels uncomfortable and im happy to respect her wishes
2006-11-30 04:13:46 · answer #7 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They obviously have no concept of etiquette at all. Dump 'em, and refer them to Miss Manners. (Available in most newspapers.)
2006-11-30 04:09:07 · answer #8 · answered by Aggie80 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
say wow, thats alot of information to soon! dont worry there are still single gentlemen out there looking, I'm one!
2006-11-30 04:11:09 · answer #9 · answered by sufferingnomad 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋