is it nt unfair for the boys mother to behave badly with a newly wed bahu who is younger than her daughter also. bahu is a working lady,hd a love marriage with her son after many years of courtship,waited for so many yrs jst to take both sides parents consent for th marriage.son wl nt leave mother and sis and walk out with his wife jst bcoz he's responsible enuf and cant behave so selfishly.bt how long wl both th husband and wife tolerate th sudden horrible behaviours from the mother in law's side and keep their mouth shut?just bcoz she's mother and she's done so much for every1 and now she's lost her husband too so whatever she'll say every1 has to hear especially the daughter in law??
2006-11-30 03:28:53 · 12 answers · asked by md 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
IT IS ALSO CRIME TO TOLERATE CRIME. SHE MUST RETALIATE.
2006-12-01 13:51:14 · answer #1 · answered by RAMAN IOBIAN 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a kindhearted person that is why you opted to ask this question, rather than going for abandoning the old widow and her daughter on their destiny. Your husband also appears to be capable of maintaining the minimum possible balance between saas and bahu.
I hope you might know about the horrific period in the life of a woman, called MENOPAUSE because you are also a woman. If you do not know… have detailed knowledge about it… you may better browse the site www.webmd.com on this subject.
Menopause is just the reverse cycle of puberty, a girl achieves in her early teens, when she comes across her first period followed by one-each every month. Look, this is the juncture when a girl enters in her womanhood… developing all her beautiful anatomy that make her the most beautiful, cheerful and attractive creature on this planet… and the honor of getting the capability to become a mother.
Menopause comes somewhere between 45 and 55 in a woman’s life and continues indefinitely until her periods stop forever. She encounters a drastic hormonal imbalance resulting in so many physical and psychiatric abnormalities viz growing facial hair, depression or anxiety etc… loses her womanhood and her ability to bear a child. In fact, she ceases to be a complete woman anymore.
Always remember that each woman including you will have to fall in this cobweb of a woman’s nightmare.
Next time whenever you look at your saas, do remember this horrendous fact of woman’s life she must be going through right now.
She is the Mother…
2006-11-30 13:11:51 · answer #2 · answered by Harish Jharia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, if you are living under her house, she will treat you anyway she wants to treat you, even if you are doing the right thing and looking after her. I can understand why you and your husband don't want to say anything to her, but she's causing problems in the house. What will happen when she has a grandchild from this union? Will she treat the child the same way? That's not right. The baby can't defend itself. You need to sort out this problem now, before it gets to that point.
It sounds like your mother in law is having a difficult time, but she needs to understand that you are trying to build a happy future together. Sit down with her and talk with her kindly. Try to make her understand that her behavior is impacting what should be the happiest period in your lives.
Good luck! I hope she will listen to what you need to say.
EDIT: Also, you can stay silent and take her treatment, but that will just make her think that her behavior is okay and that she is right to treat you like this. Don't let her do so! Be kind, but strong.
2006-11-30 11:35:50 · answer #3 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not quite sure what you're asking, and I'm pretty good at figuring these questions out. For all us dumb Ameicans, what is a bahu? This question sounds like the man's mother wants him to leave the wife in favor of a bahu? That doesn't make sense.
2006-11-30 11:34:31 · answer #4 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What, are you writing some new story for the already boring saas-bahu serials on TV? Look it is for your husband to decide whether he wants a peaceful home. Mothers will always be mothers and wives will be wives. Reason out with your hubby to move out of the house with you. That way your saas will also be living peacefully.
2006-12-02 02:20:33 · answer #5 · answered by sonal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is unfair u should give some time to a new person to adjust to understand all the family customs and family members, mother in low should behave like a teacher, mother, friend so that her daughter in law can give her family the best. because after all its daughter in law who make the family.
family is one where there is love and care for everyone
where god love to come every time that will come when every members of a family understands other problems and share and help them
2006-11-30 11:42:19 · answer #6 · answered by priya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is quite unfortunate but it happens due to many reasons ranging from possessive mothers to over obedient sons to dowry to some other commitments to false apprehensions to old age related insecurity etc. etc.
BUT THE FACT IS THAT YOU SHALL HAVE TO MANAGE IT. IT WAS YOUR DECISION AND YOU HAVE TO PROVE IT RIGHT.
Most important is the point that you have to keep your husband comfortable and naturally on your side. No hanky panky.
2006-11-30 11:38:52 · answer #7 · answered by sharma.kulbhushan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a really bad situation , if your husband is the only one to support the family then you all should sit and talk things out in the presence of some one who she also admires and one who means a lot to your family it may be a relative of your mother in laws . only then the position can be a bit relaxed . ever time the situation gets worst call him/her and sit and discuse . god help u
2006-12-04 03:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by gunchu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. check your spelling
2. dump this husband, shouldn't have married him, but no point continue the mistake. Life should be happy, not daily struggle.
3. are you sure there's no way to change mother-in-law's behaviour? You can't indulge/tolerate a person's bad behaviour and hope he/she will change to a better person. Refuse to participate in her childish game-play.
4. Watch Dr Phil.
2006-11-30 11:40:06 · answer #9 · answered by pathanChe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it is unfair... but it is our society -- If you have a brother chek if out your parent might be slightly judgemental too.. I am not accusing you or your family but you are partly the fault for your in-laws judgemental behaviour. try to change your behaviour in a positive way. and at the same time prove your in-laws wrong in a gentle manner. Do not get into arguement or anything like that.. Change your attitude and world will change with yours... Try to please them in the way they want and believe me slowly but steadly they will start admiring you..
I am sorry if you find my reponse harsh.. but..
2006-12-01 15:30:52 · answer #10 · answered by Panth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally feel that you are new to the atmosphere, and could not analyse the issues in depth. Most of your impressions may be illusionary. How ever, be patient with your mother in law and gain her love.
wish you all the best.
2006-12-03 22:15:25 · answer #11 · answered by Mohan D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋