My boyfriend, knows about my past relations with other guys, never once have I cheated on him, i was just a single sexual women. But he's only been with a very limited number of women. all throughout our relationship we got into fights regarding my past and he was so jealous. never trusted me, I did lie about a guy in my past, he was married and it was wrong, only happened once. But he uses it has a reason to not trust me. so it finaly got to be to much for him, he broke it off with me saying that he just can't get over my past, he constantly thinks about me with the other guys I've been with. then he calls and says that he wants to give it another shot, no guarantees, he just said that he wants to TRY to get over it, and has hope that the holidays will help, cause I am a 21 yr/old student and I won't be 2 hours away from him during that time. Should I try again? he didn't try very hard to assure me that he is going to try harder, just that he wants to.
2006-11-30 03:18:06 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sounds like he's trying to get a bootie call....tell him NO and find an adult!
2006-11-30 03:23:23 · answer #1 · answered by Ducky S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Iam guilty. I've given an ex-girlfriend a hard time over her past aswell. Fortunately I have matured a bit from there. Trust me its a jealousy thing. Deep down he wants the same past as you. He wants the lots of partners and the relationship with the married women. I can also tell you, in spite of what he says, he does trust you, he is just trying to make you feel guilty. You wont be able to make him change, he has to get through it himself. If you do decide to get back with him, here are some suggestions.
Try not to talk about your past very much.
Highlite his sexual history, if he tells you something about his past, say "wow", Ive never down that before. Try to make his sexual history more exciting than yours.
When he does start to give you a hard time, play guilty. Pretend you regret everything youve done. Even apologise if you have to.
Eventually he will come to accept you for what you are, past present and future. Problem is it may take a while, but follow my advise and see what happens.
2006-11-30 03:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by sunline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of guys have felt the way he does. For some reason they compare their selves with the other men you had in your life because they are worried that they wont measure up to them and that you will feel that he isn't as good as those other men because he has less experience. This is his problem, not yours and unless he can realize that and overcome it, I honestly don't think he will put much of an effort into the relationship. You said yourself that he didn't try very hard to assure you that he would try harder. My opinion would be to just think it over and if your ready to take on some more of those arguments ( because they will come up again) and if you really want to be with him, then you should give it a shot. But if all he is going to do is make you feel bad for what experiences you had in the past, Then you really should move on with someone who willing to accept you for who you are and one who doesn't care about your past. Good Luck =)
2006-11-30 03:26:28 · answer #3 · answered by Danelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try to work it out but for future references do not give too much information about how many men you have slept with especially if they were married. Men try to get women to confess to this it's a double standard knowing they usually have slept with a lot of women but they do judge women by this. Never admit to more than 5 even if it has been 20. On the aspect of taking him back tell him you didn't mean to throw out all your dirty laundry but that is the past and you are different now. With that said tell him you will also try to work it out since he has been with other women and you don't know if you can handle it thinking about him being with other women. That should make him think.
2006-11-30 03:23:54 · answer #4 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't. This guy is holding something that you did BEFORE you met him over your head. Like you said, you never cheated on him. All you did was tell him about your past. Why can't he accept you for who you are. The choices that you made in the past helped shape you to be the person that you are now. The person that he wanted to go out with.
Now he wants to give it another 'try' with NO guarantees that he can get over it. Save yourself the trouble and take a pass. Unless he can get over his issues, you don't need the stress. Find someone who can accept you for who you are.
2006-11-30 03:22:38 · answer #5 · answered by tipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No because if he can't face that your past is in fact your past then he never will be able to face that. He probably will bring it up to make you feel bad and thats never good. It's best not to tell anyone your dating your sexual past, it makes things alot better and there is no questoining involved. It's better left unknown. My boyfriend doesnt know how many people i have been with and i dont know how many he has been with, and i love not knowing. We have been together for a year now and this is the best relationship i have had. Hope i helped a bit. But yeah NO dont take him back, its not worth it.
2006-11-30 03:23:08 · answer #6 · answered by Ridin' Dirty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take him back. I have had the same problem with past relationships. they will never get over it. Next time you meet someone don't tell them how many people you have been with. Its the past leave it in your past. they don't need to know. i know its bad to start out a relationship with lies but its not worth all the fighting that could come from it. all i can say is get tested for HIV and other STD's and be safe. then you wont have anything to worry about.
2006-11-30 03:27:07 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure why guys feel their the only ones who should have sexual pasts! It's not 65B.C. any more.
I'm thinking you may try taking him back in hopes you will be proveing to him something "possitive". But he may have other thoughts, possibly a test could be coming your way. He may end up just useing you for when he wants you.
It's up to you if you love him, but I'd be careful with your heart.
2006-11-30 03:23:42 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one who is going to have to deal with this guy. However, I can't imagine how he could want you back when he admitted that he can't put your past behind him. You should know from the way he acted before that he will always throw that back in your face. My advice is to move on and start fresh with someone new. Life is too short to waste your time with all that drama. Thank you and good luck.
2006-11-30 03:21:48 · answer #9 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no leave him be and move on. the past is done and there is nothing to change it and its hard for guys to reason with a girl that has slept with men before them but its OK for them. I have been with 2 guys one that I'm currently engaged to and yet he has been with plenty of girls and I think about it from time to time but I don't use it against him. That's just wrong and your bf shouldn't use it against you. I say he doesn't deserve you or a second chance.
2006-11-30 03:24:47 · answer #10 · answered by actresskm_nc88 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this is what you want, give him another chance, but you have to talk to him and tell him how you feel. assure him that you have changed now and that the past is past and there is only him in the present and future. tell him how much it hurts that he is always mentioning the past and that it is now time to move on if he really loves you.
if after this, he keeps on mentioning the past and hurt you, end the relationship and move on.
Good luck
2006-11-30 04:20:39 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋