he had major family problems . The parents are in their 70's and the 'children' are 40 plus . His 40ish sister is a lesbian, he's known that for years, but his parents have been in denial. Suddenly, about a month ago, his sister announced that she and her live-in 'girlfriend' were having a baby . They had gone to a doctor for artificial insemination . Now, they're having a baby shower, and my friend and his wife will not go to the shower, because they do not want to support the decisions that led up to this . They will however, continue to love their sister and share holidays like Christmas together as a family . Ironically enough, his parents have taken a much stronger stance . His parents are now claiming that 'times have changed' and demand his attendance at the baby shower or else . His mother even hung-up on him, when he tried to explain their position . He asked me. . .." What should I do "?. . . . . .What would you tell him ???
2006-11-30 03:17:29 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
The Bible speaks of a time before the end - when Jesus comes again - that what was evil is now good and what was good is now evil. That is the state that we are getting into. Just like the time of Sodom so is the condition of the world is heading. I would encourage you to tell your friend to stand for what is right, love his sis yes but never accept sinful habits as being good. I would tell him he has to make the decision for himself but never to let it seems that he is fine with sin.
2006-11-30 03:24:03 · answer #1 · answered by Damian 5 · 2⤊ 6⤋
He should not attend. Attending means approval. He has the commandment of honor thy father and mother yet that can be over ridden when the mother and father break that bond of a parent by supporting a wrong. The Child is not a blood relation unless the sister is the one having the child. Nor is it conceived of a marriage. There is no obligation and it is only a baby shower.
The Mother and Father are wrong to order their son to show approval only because they love their daughter.
Forget that it is a lesbian relationship. If it was boy friend or girlfriend that the brother did not approve of and the couple got artificially inseminated to have a baby your friend would have no obligation.
The Brother has to do what he thinks is right to protect his own family. This couple will influence his own childrens lives and he will be forced to associate with them once he recognizes them.
The brother should tell his parents that he is sorry but his obligation is to protect his own family.
2006-11-30 04:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by Gone Rogue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the one thing to remember is that when you talk to him do it alone because when you talk about issues like this in front of his wife it will make it had for him to have an open mind...
i would let him know that unfortunately nothing he does will change the outcome that his sister is going to have a child,
a new life, he needs to support her in at least that much...
tell him that he should talk to her (sister) in private tell her that this is hard for him he doesn't understand it maybe he doesn't even want to. but he needs to be there. not showing would do nothing but cause hard feelings so that every Christmas he shows up for dinner and gets dirty looks.
ask him whats more important..
having 1 child in a loving healthy unconventional home
or shattered relationship with his own sister...
i was once where he is now just on the other side...
now my mother calls once a week
my brother doesn't remember i exist
my sister wont let my have my niece to take shopping
tell him he cant turn his back...
that child's coming weather he likes it or not
swallow his pride pull his heard out of his butt
put on clean **** step up to the plate
and go...
and if his wife steps in the way you make sure to
tell him that this is his sister
no matter what anyone says
and they both need to be there...
2006-11-30 03:36:34 · answer #3 · answered by BADSKISHI 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Diamond is right, baby showers are to celebrate the baby. Even if he doesn't support the mother's life choices, he will not achieve anything by trying to punish her, or the baby, for it. It won't change anything except to show that he's so self-righteous he can't even bring himself to be gracious to an innocent baby.
If he really can't bring himself to go, he could still send a gift or flowers in congratulations for the new life who will be arriving. Maybe that's a possible compromise. That way he won't ruin everyone else's happiness with his attitude but could still acknowledge the baby.
2006-11-30 03:31:02 · answer #4 · answered by KC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-29 23:34:33 · answer #5 · answered by anuj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think his decision is based on his christian morals. "and my friend and his wife will not go to the shower, because they do not want to support the decisions that led up to this . They will however, continue to love their sister and share holidays like Christmas together as a family" I think he has made the perfect decision. Love his sister but don't show support for her actions. This is exactly what I think a christian should do. It sounds like his mother gave in and thats ok. If it isnt this situation, it will be something else that he has done, that she will find cause to complain about.
2006-11-30 03:28:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
A baby is a completely different person from your friend and his wife. Whether your friend and his wife disagree or not with his sister's lifestyle is irrelevant in terms of that child, who will deserve and need their love and affection. And I say that the child will need them because a child needs as many people as it can get. Your friend's stubbornness can only lead to feelings which will hurt this child more and more.
Tell your friend to stop being so stubborn and get over himself. What is between his sister and her girlfriend is between them and God, not between your friend and his wife. Punishing this child is simply stupid. He and his wife should go to the baby shower and start supporting this child before it even is born. It is your friends duty as a blood relative to care for his family.
2006-11-30 03:26:42 · answer #7 · answered by 99 ways to smile 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I should say to him....Go and enjoy. A new life has already started.
No one has the right to judge anyone else. Not everyone will live with the codes we have built for ourselves. Your friend is her brother, not her judge. If he goes to the shower, nothing will happen to him and his wife. I think that are all adults, and as adults can face that problem. She has the right to do what she wants, in spite of which her sexual preferences are.
Even, that baby will bring joy to the family, but moreover to her, bcoz .....have your friend thought about the happiness of that woman having a baby. You said " They will however, continue to love their sister ...." then, that is the moment to show that love.
Love is unconditional. Love is to accept our family as they are. Love is not to judge. Love is to give. Is your friend able to do that???
2006-11-30 04:08:26 · answer #8 · answered by حلاَمبرا hallambra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Baby Shower is for the baby. If he will love that baby as his niece or nephew, accept is as part of his family, even if he may not like the way it came to be, or the situation it is raised in he should go. Ita about the Baby, not about the parents.
If he has issues with his sister, he should discuss them with her, not take it out on the baby.
Thats what I woould tell anyone in my family, or my friends.
2006-11-30 03:21:07 · answer #9 · answered by sweetie_baby 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My daughter and her partner are having a baby. Wow is that a tough one for me...But I am so excited about having a new grandchild. I want my daughter to have all the things that a new mom has. All the memories and all the love from her family. And the support.
I get really frustrated when someone tells me they are an abomination, living in "sin". How many parents aren't saved? Men and women living apart from the word and saving grace? We still uphold them don't we?
I want my daughter to live for Christ. I want her partner to as well. But deriving them from love and support won't get them there. And I want to see my grandchild.And be a part of his life. Who will be there to offer Christianity? He will have enough battles in this world, beside having two mom's in an accepting Christian world.
from a christian grandma,vicki
2006-11-30 03:30:58 · answer #10 · answered by 2ndchhapteracts 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
1. Say congrats on the baby so late in life
2. You can't force someone to accept you. If your friend doesn't want to attend a baby shower, he doesn't have to. When he gets to know his neice or nefew, he might change his mind. He was fine with his sister's lifestyle before the baby, he'll come around once it's born. Forcing him will only cause him to hate his sister and the child.
2006-11-30 03:23:19 · answer #11 · answered by sister steph 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋