My boyfriend lives in a house by himself in a pretty bad area. At age 14 he got caught up in some pretty bad drug use and lived a very wild and crazy lifestyle that i am not okay with but i love him how do i trust him?
2006-11-30 02:52:34 · 10 answers · asked by skwealypuff 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How is his past behavior related to your present relationship with him? Is he still living a 'wild' life? Has he done anything or displayed any behavior that would cause you not to trust him?
Maybe you're not the appropriate person for him. If he hasn't done anything I don't understand how you cannot trust him unless you simply have trust issues.
2006-11-30 02:55:31 · answer #1 · answered by The First Lady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if his behavior was in the past and it was something he did when he was really young, you need to give him the oppurtunity to prove himself. My hubby was stupid when he was younger, he had gotten a girl pregnant and was drinking like crazy at 14, same age your boyfriend was. Obviously because of his age his marriage didn't work (he married the girl he got pregnant). Needless to say that over time and as he matured, he became a very responsible adult whom I can love and trust without question.
Is there any reason besides him partying before that you feel you can't trust him? Is it something he has done to you or something that has been done to you before him?
If it's something that has been done before him to you then again, you need to let the past stay there and look to the future. Please keep in mind that he is not whoever did whatever to you that he is his own person and he deserves not to be judged or treated according to how someone else was with you.
Talk to him without coming off as nagging. Explain to him why you feel the way you do. After you talk to him though, unless he gives you strong reason to suspect, I wouldn't bring it up again or accuse him again because false accusations leads to lots of more problems, especially if the person isn't doing what they are being accused of.
Despite what others say, people can change. Especially from who they were when they were younger. I don't think most of the adults on here can say they are the exact same person they were as a kid...experience and wisdom through the years changes and betters us into adulthood.
Relax, breathe easy and give him a chance.
2006-11-30 10:56:42 · answer #2 · answered by slinkster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to have a relationship with him, you have to accept the facts, he comes with a lot of "baggage". You don't mention what type of "lifestyle" he has now so it's difficult to speculate.
Ideally, when two mature adults enter into a relationship, it is built on love and respect. Your inability to "trust" him may be caused by your own "insecurity". Or, he may give you reasons to not "trust" him. If this is the case, maybe you need to ask yourself "why" you can't trust him.
You don't have to "be okay" with his past or approve of it to be in love with him. You do need to "accept" it and move forward. If you aren't able to "trust" him, your relationship isn't going to stand much of a chance.
Good luck.
2006-11-30 11:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he's been in trouble and was wild at one time doesn't mean he's going to cheat. Give the ole boy a chance.
2006-11-30 10:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by CyndiDrum 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to understand that his past is a part of him and it will never change. He is who he is now and what he was is just a past memory. If you trurly love him, trust will not be an issue.
2006-11-30 10:55:30 · answer #5 · answered by ngina 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If hes 14 hun get out of that befor he drags you down with him get a life some real friends see i was in to drugs really heavy and im telling you getting out of it isnt as easy as getting in your in befor you know and when you finaly realize its too late it might be too later for him but its not for you so get out
2006-11-30 10:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by Lab Runner 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't with something like this. You must be VERY careful. Infact go with him for a day ...like on a date and talk to him and be his friend. If you don't like the results...leave him be with fate as his company and you find someone worthy of you.
2006-11-30 11:03:02 · answer #7 · answered by Drew S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When He's not around, let him do his thing and you do some push ups do some squats too drink lots of water and give your worries to Jesus, Jesus will work it all outy in the end.
2006-11-30 10:58:43 · answer #8 · answered by fe2bsho 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him how your feel. If you really can't trust him, don't stay with him. Make him prove he's trustworthy.
2006-11-30 10:55:17 · answer #9 · answered by ropemancometh 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a life, girl. You must be very young.
2006-11-30 10:54:10 · answer #10 · answered by Webballs 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋