We have just split. This morning she told me that she slept with someone else last week. I'm 22 and no one has ever cheated on me before.
Can anyone offer any advice?
I wouldn't mind chatting to someone who I've never met before.
Serious answers only please.
2006-11-30 02:49:48 · 43 answers · asked by Sluugy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
****Additional details**** We split last night. It was me dumping her because she was acting really weird. Didn't want to dump her, because I still liked her. Then today she tells me she had a one night stand last week. She's at uni - twice last week she couldn't speak just before I went to bed so it makes sense.
2006-11-30 03:30:50 · update #1
oh that sucks dude sory. i think everyone at some point in their life has been cheated on, whether you're 5 years old in the school playground, or 25 years old and in the most serious relationship you've been in - it still hurts, and it will hurt for a while.
all i could really say to you is that if she's proven to be a cheater, you're better off without her - i know it probably doesnt seem like it now but you will look back on this and feel glad that you walked away (and thats wat u should do in my opinion)
plenty more fish in the sea and all that, but i've been cheated on before and i know right now you'll be feeling pretty low - just gradually pick yourself back up and get back out there...
best of luck to you
2006-11-30 02:54:37 · answer #1 · answered by вℓαмє_¢αиα∂α 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You are 22, so you have plenty of time to find someone else. You will never be able to trust her again, so getting back together is out of the question, trust is key. If i can give you some of the best advice i can you have to promise not to waist it. Don't worry about meeting someone and settling right now. Play the field, have some friends with benefits but enjoy your youth. I am 25 years old and i am married with a 10 month little boy. While my hubby and i where dating i was totally into him and gave up many of my dreams for him. I don't regret marrying him or having a baby but i do see all the dreams that i had are now so far out of reach. I miss single life, freedom and ambition. You need to focus on what is right for you, be selfish for a while and pursue your dreams and stop worrying about relationships. The right time and the right girl will come along, so you need to make sure you are the right person in that right time. I have many stories about being betrayed and i will be more than happy to share them with you.
2006-11-30 03:00:49 · answer #2 · answered by micah z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't even think about taking her back, no matter how much she begs...once a cheat, always a cheat. trust me, i know.
it will be hard for you for a while but you will get over it, don't go out and sleep with loads of girls, it will do you more harm than good.
Just take a step back, look at how much better off you'll be without her in your life...chill out for a couple weeks/months, however long it takes and i guarantee you'll find someone that will make you forget about all this and will make you truly happy.
And remember the feeling you have right now, it's not nice is it?
Think of that before you consider cheating on anybody, would you really want to make somebody else feel the way you're feeling right now?
2006-11-30 02:59:41 · answer #3 · answered by jade317877 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes a really long time to be in a trusting relationship. I am MUCH older than you and this is why I tell people....think seriously about yourself and your feelings before you get into a sexual relationship with someone....be sure you really know someone, not just think you know someone.... When you jump into relationships, you take a risk, and you have to be prepared to pay the price if you didn't do all your homework up front to find out what type of morals, value systems and qualities a person has....
You are 22. You are extremely hurt right now and probably a little pissed off too....Just don't stew on it. Move forward, look for someone with the type of qualities you really want in your next relationship. You WILL get over this girl....Don't you DARE take her back. You have to understand that she didn't respect you, or your relationship. Make sure you keep your self respect! You will be ok! Hang in there.
2006-11-30 02:56:26 · answer #4 · answered by favrd1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its happened to me twice both times the BF didnt tell me i figured it out when wed split for other reasons. Just put it all to the back of your mind and get yourself out this weekend have a laugh get chatted up. Trust me it will make you feel better i know shes all you can think about no it wasnt your fault but she must just not of felt the same no matter what anyone says they know what there doing if she did it the shel do it again and its taken a week to tell you would she have ever told you if you hadnt of split up. Theres what your really looking for out there waiting.
2006-11-30 04:10:41 · answer #5 · answered by dora 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I found out that my bf slept with some one too. Being nosey I found text messages on his phone from her. He got really drunk 1 night ended up at a party, went up stairs with her.....you know the rest.
He left his jacket and wallet in the room and told me thats the only reason he kept her number to get them back. Its horrible isnt it? It made me feel like I wasnt good enuff, like I was ugly and fat, that I must have given him a hard time or was too demanding for him to go off with some one else.
He told me it ment nothing, he was so drunk he didnt even last long, he doesnt even remember most of it and hes sorry...blah blah....blah.
It doesnt stop the hurt on my side mind, Im heart broken and Ive lost a lot of confidence, like you Im 22 and no one has ever cheated on me. I know what your feeling.
All I can say really she cheated, you did nothing wrong or dishonest, its her guilt and you should not carry it around. She made a bad choice like my boyfriend but it doesnt reflect on the type of person you are. It was her bad choice and if she loves you, having to live with the fact she slept with some one else and hurt the guy she loves should be punishment enough.
We have been able to get over it, it takes alot on my part not to bring it up and throw it back in his face if we have a spat, but thats what needs to be done to stay in a healthy relationship. It has made us more honest and trusting with each other -I admit I do get jealous if I c him chatting to another girl and I thing all sorts if he doesnt answer his phone 1st ring, but that will all take time to get over.
Good Luck and Hugs xxxx
2006-11-30 03:06:12 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont say how long you have been together for and if it love etc. It is obvious you will feel hurt and betrayed but you need to think if there is still a future for you. The fact she told you shows she is feeling guilty. Does she want to stay with you? If she is wanting you back and you love her it is possible to still have a future. If you want to try things again and see if you have a future you need to sit down and talk through why she felt she had to sleep with someone else. If she felt you did not give her the attention she needs then it is something you need to sort out. Good luck. Hope it works out and you find happiness. xx
2006-11-30 02:57:21 · answer #7 · answered by CrayzeeKat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mate i`m so sorry, i know exactly how ur feeling. had it done to me except i got dumped! ur only 22 so u have a lot of years in front of u. the most important thing to remember is not all women are like that. there`s lots n lots of decent honest women out there. i know this is easy for me to say but try not dwell on it too much and u`ll have times that u`ll find very hard but in those times MAKE urself get up and do something, anything. it`s also good to confide in someone. talking helps. get urself out there again and start rebuilding ur life. if u mope about u`ll look back and wonder why u invested so much time in feeling like crap! good luck matey
2006-11-30 04:11:14 · answer #8 · answered by graham f 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she cheated on you while you were together, kick her to the curb and consider yourself lucky that you found out early in the relationship that she is scum.
If she slept with someone while you were broken up, you have no right to be upset.
Cheaters will ALWAYS cheat and are never happy in a monogamus relationship. She could have broken up with you and THEN had sex with the guy but she didn't and showed how low she really is.
Move on brother. Find yourself another woman who will respect you and treat you like you deserve.
2006-11-30 03:01:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put it down to experience - you are still very young and presumably she is as well. This has happened to everyone at some time or other. If this is your first experience of someone cheating then you have probably been lucky. As you have split up then I assume that things hadn't been going right for a while.
2006-11-30 02:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by Ally 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋