got pregnant and we decided to give him up for adoption, even though his father said what he wanted most in the word was a family. we were not emotionally or financially ready. well, he left me last month for his ex girlfriend that he already had a kid with (i think a very big reason is because of what i described above). i had my baby a week ago, but the adoptive family backed out because he had a stroke. he's probably going to have some kind of lasting problem, but it's too early to tell now. anyway, i've been at the hospital every day and now i don't want to give him up, but i honestly don't think i can handle it by myself. i feel like i'm being selfish but i don't know what to do. and his father wants nothing to do with him, but that doesn't matter to me. either way it's going to be hard, whether i keep him or not, and i know in my head i should give him to someone who can take care of him better, but in my heart, i can't let him go. what do i do?
2006-11-30 02:44:46 · 9 answers · asked by pikachu 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Easy, do what is best for the child. You already know what that is. Once you make that decision, you will feel bad about it but it will be the bravest and most honorable thing you have ever done.
2006-11-30 02:51:07 · answer #1 · answered by Jon O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Young Lady. This is so difficult to read let alone be in your shoes and face. My heart goes out to you. First I am adopted. I am 51. Adoption is beautiful and wonderful. Follow your heart. Things might be tough for you now, however, you will find the future life journey getting easier. You can be emotionally ready for this child and you do not need the father. Do you have family willing to help you? There as well are programs honey to help you. Follow your heart is my opinion, keep your son. A precious hand placed in yours to guide love nourish teach protect. Take the step, hold his hand in lifes journey and I am confident you in the long run will have no regrets. Good Luck
2006-11-30 02:52:49 · answer #2 · answered by chattylady47150 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you see now why it's so important to be in a committed life-long relationship before having sex with someone?
If not, then you need to give the baby up for adoption with no further consideration; there are lots of intact families who can't have children and want nothing else but to adopt a child of their own.
If yes, then be a strong woman, make it happen and give this child the best childhood you can possibly give.
2006-11-30 02:52:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is completely normal to have second thoughts about adoption, especially when the adoptive family backs out of the plan. If you really feel that adoption is the best answer, I suggest that you start contacting agencies so that you can find a family that is ready to raise a potentially special needs baby. My gut tells me that when you find a family you feel good about and who is ready to take on the worst case scenario with the baby's health, you will find it just a bit easier to let go.
Keep this in mind: when you make an adoption plan for your baby, part of what makes it OK to let go is knowing that there is a family waiting for him to protect and love him when you place your trust in them. The adoptive family backed out and let you and your baby down. There is no one to protect him now except for you, unless you start to search for a family that will love him unconditionally (just like you would). Trust me, they are out there, they are just a bit harder to find.
2006-12-01 03:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by techie_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont let go of him i can assure you you will find a way to take care fo him and make it thru i didnt think i was ready when my first kid came along but i got support form my fam and now i cant see myself w/ out her she is one of the best things that could ever happen to me as far as the dad.....child support i would recommend he is still the dad and needs to help w/ the cost (is expensive to have a kid) have him pay....what about your family what do they say......email me dont know where you are from but if there is anything i can help w/ ill be more than glad to assist
2006-11-30 02:54:17 · answer #5 · answered by starlight♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you decide to keep him make sure you take his bastard father to court and make him pay child support! It's his child too and it isn't fair to put the full financial burden on you. He did just as much of that babymaking as you did.
2006-11-30 03:01:33 · answer #6 · answered by BakaBaka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should give him to a good family, who will give him love, and all the things to make him happy.......if you keep him, all you do will worry......about how you going to make it......each and every day.......there are many family want children and can't have any, do a good deed and make your child have a good family.......
2006-11-30 03:14:26 · answer #7 · answered by *Cutie* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call me!! I will gladly give your baby the home, love and life he needs and deserves! E-mail me @ Shannonsatwork@yahoo.com I will help in anyway I can.
2006-11-30 03:40:34 · answer #8 · answered by shannonsatwork 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep him he's yours and you love him i'm sure you will get help and advice from your family. Good luck
2006-11-30 02:49:10 · answer #9 · answered by Mea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋