I've been going out with a really sweet-natured guy for a few months (we've already been friends for quite some time and have lots of fun together), but he is clearly becoming more attached to me than I to him.
I'm really miserable about it as I had a 'Talk' with him yesterday, and have moreorless come to the conclusion that we ought to 'just be friends' (I hate that phrase!), as I don't want to give him false hope and make things worse in the long run.
I don't like feeling that I've somehow let him down. Am I doing the right thing?
2006-11-30 02:44:28 · 27 answers · asked by SilverSongster 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ouch! Tough situation. Nice guys are really hard to turn down / break up with.
You are totally doing the right thing. Its better to break things off now if you feel like that, than it is to let him grow even more attached to you.
You don't owe him anything just because he is a nice guy, and it shows that you are a nice girl that you want him to by happy and you don't want to hurt him. You can't give up what you want to make someone else happy, that will never work in the long run, but easier said than done.
I find that having a definite break where you don't see each other for a few weeks after 'the talk' will help. Then you can renew your friendship when the feelings from the 'break up' have settled down a bit. Just let him know that you are sad to break things off and that you need a bit of time to get over it and you look forward to hanging out with him again in a little while.
Best of luck to you!
2006-11-30 04:33:20 · answer #1 · answered by SmartBlonde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See my girl well ex girl is kinda doing this to me but we have other much deeper problems to but your going to break his heart and weather he wants or can be friends with you is up to him...see me and my ex still see each other at work and she came a visited me at my apart the other day and we both tell each other that we still love the other and that we want to be together with hugs and kisses and an being intimate but its a day to day kinda thing just make sure your doing the right thing and not throwing away something special and something your going to want back if you really love him than dont leave him and work your problems out together other wise you may never have you sweet natured guy ever again
2006-11-30 02:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by Lab Runner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what you just did is open the door for him to look for someone else. ANd when he finds someone and is just your friend you will know what you had and let it go. SO if you just want a friend you did the right thing. But what will happen when you see him hugging and kissing another girl, can you handle it or feel bad because you let a good thing go. SO think on what your doing and if you think it's right cool, if not talk to him gain beofre it's too late
2006-11-30 02:50:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its fair to tell him how feel. If he wants to be more than friends but you dont feel that way be honest and make it clear to him. Their is no reason why you can't stay good friends and go on to find your perfect partner. It may hurt him at first but he will relise in the long run that it was best as he was wanting something you did not and that is no good for a good strong relationship. Good Luck xx
2006-11-30 02:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by CrayzeeKat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It sucks when one person feels one way and the other person is just not there. But you did the right thing by talking to him. It's not fair to either of you, if you guys are not on the same page. It sounds like you handled it with class and respect and that is all you can do. Hopefully he understands and you guys can still remain friends. Good luck.
2006-11-30 02:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by Vin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better the devil you know, hey:) Trust me the minute you two separate even as you are just friends and you see him with another girl you will get so jealous and start thinking of all the good times you have had together. It is getting more and more difficult finding decent guys, appreciate him for who and what he is and as long as you still have fun together stick by him. It is when fun disappears that things get boring.
2006-11-30 02:58:50 · answer #6 · answered by Duisend-poot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. If he is growing more attached and you see things not going anywhere, then the best thing to do is let him know. The more attached he grows the more it will hurt. There is nothing you can do to completely shield him from getting hurt, but you can minimize it. Just be honest with him.
2006-11-30 02:47:29 · answer #7 · answered by Chris D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darlin', heres a guy's view: nice is boring, all girls know this. They think its what they want and long term sure, but for now you are young and want excitement. Why kid yourself, if you are not happy then move on. But let me tell you it from his view; He's a nice, sweat, good natured (boring) guy who can't really excite women, yet he is sensitive so will damage easily and rejection is a difficult thing for any one, but for **** sake why say "let's stay friends" guy's don't want to be friends with girl's who don't return their feelings, no way no how. give him a clean break, tell him your not enthused by him and want more from a man, but don't insult him with that ******* awful line girls use it only makes things worse.
2006-11-30 02:59:45 · answer #8 · answered by ANTJOHN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest - in the long run it will be best for both of you. You only get one life - don't waste it! Being friends rarely works so if you can remain polite and part on good terms fair play to you. Good luck.
2006-11-30 02:47:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you know that it's not going anywhere then your playing with his heart because he could really be into you, and your just messing with him. And just think before you do break up w ith him what do you think, do you think you could find someone better or is there someone better already. But just tell him we need to break up not to be mean but it's not going anywhere for me I want to experience new things. And also people feel like that when you get bored but that's what happens for him but that just means sometimes that you really feeling him and you really don'tknow it.
2006-11-30 02:48:15 · answer #10 · answered by Charissa H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋