My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4.5 years mostly long distance but in the same city too. After graduating in May, I moved home & he has been living at home for 2.5 years (he is 25). Since then, we have been working with the distance and seeing each other once a month. I have an office job. He can work from home anywhere. The arrangement works fine, but I am tired of the distance. I want to live in the same city. I suggested he try living in my city, but he says he does not like it. So, I even offered to move to a place we both like. He says he loves me but he is not ready to move & leave his friends/family. He also said he not sure if he wants to marry me. He feels moving to a new city/living with someone means marriage and I told him I didn’t feel that way and I am not sure I want to marry him either, but we would never find out if we don’t take the next step. I feel like the distance is never going to end. What do I do? Give Deadline- what Timeframe? Breakup, Wait, What?
2006-11-30 02:04:48 · 12 answers · asked by cary 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
omg... I just went through the exact situation. I graduated from school, and then my bf moved away to go to med school. Well we'd been together for 3 years, and he told me maybe i should move down there to his city, and I asked if he wanted to move in together, and he said he wasn't sure if he was ready for that. Then I asked if he ever saw us settling down and getting married and said he wasnt sure if he saw that or if was ready for it in general. To me that was a slap in the face. When your with someone for 3+ years and your not sure if you see a future with them, then that's a problem. I'm not gonna sit around a wait for someone who;s unsure of who or what he wants, so i told him that, and I ended it. It's crushed him, and now four months later he's wanting me back. So anyway I say end it. If he really loves you and wants you then he'll get together, and commit!! Good luck!
2006-11-30 03:38:06 · answer #1 · answered by Peggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would go with the route of giving him an ultimatum with a deadline...explain to him that you are not looking for marriage at this point but after 4.5 years it does not seem like you the two of you really know eachother....I see my best friend more than once a month for crying out loud. You could offer to move to his town in order to be closer to him but I feel that if he truly cares about you than he should also share in the sacrafice and the two of you should move to a location that would suit you both...at age 25 it is time for him to cut loose from the apron strings and be responsible for himself. You can do as you wish but I really dont see a realistic future here...good luck to you.
2006-11-30 02:32:04 · answer #2 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont imagine anybody needs to have a lengthy distance relationship. existence occurs and receives in the way, you purely might want to artwork round it. If someone should be with their lengthy distance BF or GF sufficient/or they love them sufficient, they're going to bypass to the position the different human being is and end the lengthy distance ingredient. those those who've relationships over the internet or out of state "purely because" are likely dropping their time. lengthy distance relationships wont very last if there isnt dedication.
2016-10-08 00:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to be with him then move to his city. Long distance realtionships can work only for so long. Tell him it is not a commitment so he does not have to feel trapt but you just want to see if something is even there. If he still backs off, then he is really not interested in you as much as you thought and prolly wants the distance so he can do what he wants with his friends etc. Let him know you do not want to change his life, just want to see if you are right together.
2006-11-30 02:09:17 · answer #4 · answered by sweetlaughter434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hate it if i was in your situation and someone like me came along to give this rubbish short answer, but it is true:
One of you is gonna have to make a move. And it seems its gonna have to be you, if thats moving to where he is or dumping him. I do not know which and im sorry about that seeing as though that was the question.
2006-11-30 02:09:12 · answer #5 · answered by YouDontKnowMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want this long distance relationship?
Would you be better having a local relationship?
You must decide what you want?
a suggestion, write out the things you like and dislike about long distance relationships, and the same for local relationships, this may have you decided better what you want.
2006-11-30 02:11:26 · answer #6 · answered by No More Abuse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a pond right near you and in your city probably within walking distance where you can catch another trouser trout. Don't settle for a bunch of bull from him - go fishing!
2006-11-30 02:12:08 · answer #7 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are ready for the next step of the relationship and he is not..if it were me, i'd move on
2006-11-30 02:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by Tek ~aka~Legs! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's funny....I am facing the same problem with my boyfriend!!!!Only differenece is that HE is like YOU and AM like your BF...I wish i knew what to do too!!! I'll be waiting for the answers too....
2006-11-30 02:18:52 · answer #9 · answered by Soulla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give things time and let they will work out!
2006-11-30 02:14:19 · answer #10 · answered by sweetpea1987 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋