Me and my fiance have been togethere for 7 yrs.. he has a 18 yr old son..soon to be 19.. He quit school 1 1/2 ago, and has never gotten a job..He stays out all night and sleeps all day.. I work my *** off working 11a-8pm, 6 days a week to support my 2 children. We all live in the same house.. my fiance works, but alot of his money goes to his own personal bills.. credit cards, ect... So basically I'm paying his way.. My fiance does help with bills, but I dont feel he puts in as much as I do.. By the way, this is my fiances only child and babies him too much.. I know that if I was to kick his son out he would go too.. What the hell should I do?
2006-11-30 01:57:32 · 5 answers · asked by Indymom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would sit down and talk to your fiance. Let your fiance know that what the son is doing isn't right in your eyes. I would also sit down with the son and tell the son that you think it is time he found a job or went back to school and that its important to you to see him suceed as his future step mom. You don't want to see him in trouble or homeless. The 18 yr old is adjusting from being in school time for so long and now all the sudden he has the day as free time in his eyes that he didn't have then. Its time he learned that he can have free time but it should jepoardize his life. If he wants something make him pay for it himself. Start labeling foods that are popular for you and are your favorites. You bought them etc. Tell him that he needs to help with groceries or figure out somehow to help the house be united not torn and on each others own.
2006-11-30 02:15:17 · answer #1 · answered by Franchesca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rules. Time to set rules, and have a standard in which he will have to meet.
He doesn't deserve to still be with you if he does absolutely nothing all day. Does he even help cleaning or chores around the house? That is where you should set the bar.
1.Taking care of the home and kids.
You don't need a babysitter with his lazy butt around the house.
2.Question his lifestyle
You are together, yet he goes out every night to do...what? Time to investigate.
Well I have ideas that can help you, I really think you might have to seperate from him. Because he just using you and waisting time. If he really cared he would help you, manage the home and kids, and try to do something on the side.
Its okay if he stays at home all day, especially if he gets stuff done. However if you expect more from him, especially money to cover the bills, then you should start:
1.Short hours working at a job(temporary)
2.Working for friends, or a neighbor.
3.Gather credentials*
*What that means is he should do stuff that will help the home. Like get an EBT card to cover food for the family. You work, he doesn't, got kids, he should get a card.
With that card the state will cover food for the family, and as a rule about having the card he has to start looking for work.
2006-11-30 02:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why haven't you guys gotten married yet? It's been 7 years!
You live together it should be 50/50. I'm sorry but I would tell the boy that he has one week to get a job and start helping out with some bills. If he didn't do it I would put him out. He has to help himself you can't do it for him. And if my finance didn't like it then he would have to go to. He doesn't seem to care that you pay more and he can run his credit cards up on whatever he buys. Does he put things for the house or you on his credit cards?
My son had to move back home briefly but I made him pay $100 a month for rent. I saved it and gave it back to him when he left, but he didn't know I was going to do it, he thought I used it to pay some of the bills.
Good Luck!!
2006-11-30 02:43:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Luck! I know that isn't helpful, I am in a similar situation.
My husband has been out of work since September and I know the financial drain.
My brother, who lives 2 blocks away, quit school and doesn't have a job. He lives with his girlfriend and she is paying all the bills. He stays up all night working on his car and sleeps all day too.
I honestly don't know what to tell ya! I am sympathizing though!
2006-11-30 02:03:06 · answer #4 · answered by I am Crystal S. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should better take your husband infront and two of you better have a good speech,you should discuss the things disturbs you ,and I think that will work...
2006-11-30 02:02:33 · answer #5 · answered by lonelilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋