For those of you who have good relationships with your moms would you give me some advice?

Question

I love my Mom. And while we get along, I think Our relationship could get better. I have always felt my Mom doesn't care about me as much as she does my other siblings. Ive tried to talk with her about this but get nowhere. And this morning we had a little tiff over the car. I raised my voice a bit about 10 minutes late I realized that wan't very respectful so I went o her and apologized. But as always instead of accepting my apology she turns it into a lecture abut how I do everything wrong. The thing is I propably spend the most time with her out of all my siblings but she doesn't seem to care. I don't know what to do.

cristanin, i'm not sure what you mean by frost bite? I think you have another person maybe?

Answer 1

First off, your mom loves you...believe me she does. Your mom acts that way to you because she relies on you. You say you spend the most time with her, so she feels comfortable to talk to you that way. However, the doesn;t give her the right "to" talk to you that way.
The way she acted toward your apology must have hurt you and as a parent myself, I must admit, I have made that mistake too. I did so because I was hurt at my son's reaction because we have that closness and parents are not always right about how they react to their children. We make mistakes too. Some parents do not admit their wrong doings but I do and because I see my faults, I have dealt with situations with my son much better.
Parents often believe that if we read our children the riot act we are setting standards and teaching them right from wrong. Instead we do the opposite. It's hard to hear between the lines when someone is screaming it at you. I would never just yell and scream at my friend if we get into a disagreement so why would I do that to my child? Well, I have done that in the past and I working on NOT doing that anymore. Mainly because my son put ME in my place by explainging how he felt during a one on one time and he has now made me a better person and mother.
Try having some real alone time with your mom. Try asking her out to lunch, take her somewhere she likes, in public she will not act that way and hopefully you can express your feelings and she will express her's back.
You seem, just by your question, that you really care about your mom, your family and you want to understand her better. The best way to do that is telling her how you feel.
About treating your siblings differently? She may actually do so, because we always treat people differently depending on their personalities.
If she see's you as really strong, she will be the hardest on you.
Good Luck.

Answer 2

Sometimes, moms and daughters don't always get along. the important thing I find is the honest and open communication. The constructive criticism. You should be able to tell her exactly how you are feeling and visa versa. When you apologized and she turned it into a lecture you could have politely said - I am sorry for raise my voice mom but you made me angry by...... And if she kept going polite say - sorry but I don't want to argue with you we can finish this conversation later when we are both in better moods.

I have done that several times with my mom and it seems to work pretty well. Sometimes we even joke about it. Unfortunately it is not something that will be welcomed all the time and sometimes it is not easy to do - but the more you do it the better appreciated it will be. Remember to be polite, open and honest.

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 3

Go get a Hallmark and tell her in that card how much you care. Get a I'm sorry, I care, something like that and when you show her then she will realize you do care. That happens when there is many siblings in the family. I thought that way for years and it wasn't true. Sometimes parents have a hard time showing it especially when there are so many siblings and they want to keep peace.

Answer 4

Your mom obviously doesn't realize how lucky she is. I'm sure she cares about you as much as the others but just doesn't show it. I had a terrible relationship with my mother growing up but now that I'm older we get along well even though they've moved out of state. My oldest is a girl - 13. She is SO disrespectful towards me and smart ellic(?) but I think she gets the smarty part from me as I am a big smartazz. But NEVER does she apologize to me even though I go out of my way to do extra for her. She does talk to me about things but that attitude. Makes me want to strangle her! Since you had a bif over the car I'm assuming your around 16? You should be able to be 'friends' with your mom. Maybe when you talk to her about stuff you should try saying "It makes me feel..." instaed of "You do this or that". Maybe try going out to dinner or a movie with just her occasionally to try to improve your relationship. That would give you a chance to talk on friendly ground and maybe get to know each other better (maybe figure out why she's so grumpy). Good Luck with her. I was moved out before I got along with my mom. Girls really need thier moms especially these days!!

Answer 5

Some people are hard to please and your mother sounds like one of them. You can only give everything your best effort. You sound like a very caring person and you considered her feelings and apologized you did what was right which I am sure, she taught you to do. Sometimes we have to take the good with the bad and unfortunately we can't pick and choose our family. Keep your chin up n good luck! God Bless!

Answer 6

i get along great with my mom but then there is times that we do get into it but then i aways say i,m sorry but she does sometime makes it a lecture to but i just sit there and take it in then tell her shes right why make things worse

Answer 7

just go shopping with her. it roks! n try 2 talk 2 her more. n ask her how her day was. if she thinks ur askin 4 money, then girl itz gettin critical!! well, just talk 2 her, chat, gossip, shop, wateva (but NOT cookin, u never no if ur gonna burn somtin n she'll hate u n yell @ u. good luck!

Answer 8

Frost Bite again???