My stepmother and I do not get along. Everything she says seems to be negative, and she always has to complain about what she is given or just her surroundings in general. Many times I have gone out of my way to do something I thought she might like and it seems like she just can't accept me for who I am. She is a spiritualist, they are usually happy people. she goes to church and teaches classes about getting what you want being happy and stressfree etc. but then lives the opposite. This is why I avoid her as to not cause arguments. I occasionally have a messy room, or forget to bring down my laundry, i might leave the bedroom door open and the cat might lay on my bed. I dont normally have time enough between school and work to do dishes or other chores around the house. though i do mine. I'm a high school student graduating with the class ahead of her this year. Im working hard and im very stressed. what should i do?
2006-11-30 01:41:30 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think we're sisters lol! I have the same stepmother...but now I'm 30! I tried & still do, but no change in sight. I simply remain polite & respectful...and avoid her as well. You could try sitting down & talking with her. In the midst of the only real fight we've ever had, I once (as an adult) asked mine "what did I ever do to you? why do you hate me?" She had no response. She was unhappy, & was envious of everyone that wasn't. She was very jealous of my relationship with my dad & his relationship with his mother (my grandmother) also. She's still that way. Misery loves company!
2006-11-30 01:47:25 · answer #1 · answered by pr1ncezz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a step parent is extremely difficult, as such you are often made to feel like an outsider. This is not necessarily deliberate on the part of the step family but they were established as a family long before the step parent came along and the feeling of being an outsider is fairly natural.
It sounds like you are doing your best in the situation, but I suggest you have a serious talk to your father about the situation and ask him about getting family counselling. Your Step mom has brought issues of her own into the family that you likely have no idea of, and unless you and her can find a way to make each other comfortable the situation will escalate with high potential for family break up.
You and your step mother do not have to love each other, or even like each other. While some sort of amiable relationship is definitely preferable, mutual respect is essential.
AB
2006-11-30 02:00:50 · answer #2 · answered by al b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, an E-4 does no longer make a large style of money, yet he's purely beginning out and if he's going occupation militia, he will be effective. What human beings are not thinking is that civilian poverty line and the militia poverty line fluctuate because the military will pay for housing, clinical, etc the position civilians are to blame for that on their personal. 18,000 as a airman is a heck of so much better than 18,000 as a civilian. That being stated inspite of the actuality that, can understand the position your mom is coming from, yet you sound like you're about 22-24 supply or take many years and that i grant you with this information: your spouse and children does come first, yet your mom sounds like she's being somewhat dramatic. Are you complete with college? If no longer, end it then go back to the marriage concern. have you ever lived on your own, paid your own expenses, gotten up earlier than you may want to to stroll the canines, have you ever had an emergency vet visit that fee you 2 hundred you've been attempting to save? those are issues that boost adulthood on your mom's eyes. Has your boyfriend complete college? My mom did not choose me to marry my ex-boyfriend because he hadn't complete college yet nor had I. Now, my contemporary boyfriend is a soldier, college knowledgeable, works for a professional agency, is up for a merchandising and a develop and at the same time as he doesn't make very a lot of money, my mom isn't nerve-racking about our existence jointly and is truly attempting to assist me decide what might want to be the finest wedding ceremony after he asks which he's making universal he will haha. once you're growing with the help of that area of your youthful adulthood, then courteously tell your mom that you note of and respect the position she's coming from yet it truly is your selection and as an grownup you experience that is the right one. Then elope or in case you want to have a wedding ceremony, pay for the total ingredient your self-it shows the grownup in you.
2016-10-08 00:18:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR AHEAD OF YOUR MOTHER IN GRADUATING????
What? Did ol Pappy rob the cradle to find her? Sheesh!
Talk to your Pastor about this situation and let him help you in this situation...
Also, it dosent take much to bring down the laundry, and keep a room clean, so, if this is the only peeve she has, then "do it"... Keep the room clean and bring the laundry down.
If your that absent minded, (she sounds like a disciplinarian, or, maybe its just "step mother syndrom" on your part, secretely not wanting to accept her as a replacement for your "real mom"??)... Get on the ball and work at what she "wants" you to do, and things will get better.
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-11-30 01:53:08 · answer #4 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are a constant reminder of the relationship your father had before her. It has nothing to do with you personally. Don't try and please negative people, they will just suck you dry and give you nothing in return. If your dad doesn't set the tone for her interactions with you, then you are kind of stuck. Maybe talk to him about it, otherwise, just focus on yourself. You are almost of the age to be on your own and maybe things will improve once you are out of the house. Or maybe not--I haven't spoken to my step mother in over 20 years. She was a horrible b*tch to me and life is just too short to allow those kind of people into your existence at all.
Good luck, try and have a good holiday!
2006-11-30 01:46:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do what you gotta do and try not to tip the scales. You might want to make a special time to sit down with her and have a long talk. Let het know nicely how you feel and that her acceptance of you would be nice--if she can't accept you then she needs to read the bible--"LOVE THY NEIGHBOR"
2006-11-30 01:46:44 · answer #6 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are doing everything you can.....biting your tongue is the hardest thing.....try remembering how happy your father is every time she speaks or says something visualize him...with a smile.
Did I understand your comments right that you are graduating a class ahead of her....ouch...this must make it even harder.
Keep doing as you are ....keep your studies going and don't give up.
Are you going to college...think of your goals and moving forward that should help too.
best wishes
2006-11-30 01:47:26 · answer #7 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were a Male you could of banged her already.
2006-11-30 02:00:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your dad let him know how you feel and how this is affecting you too is not fair and then have a serious talk w/ her
2006-11-30 01:47:57 · answer #9 · answered by starlight♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋