How much is too much to ask of a 5 & 6 year old?

Question

Since my kids were 3 or so, I have been teaching them to do chores, while slowly adding more as their abilities become more advanced. In the begining, the chores were more of a way for me to teach them responcibility and how to be a part of our family, but now that I have 2 others (an infant and a toddler), I NEED the extra help...
Currently their chores are:
--brushing their teeth (am & pm)
--getting dressed (am & pm)
--making their beds
--vacuuming the non-carpeted floors (before & after dinner)
--tidying their bathroom
--putting dirty clothes away
--putting up their clean clothes
--bringing their dishes to the sink (after all meals)
--setting the table
--clearing the table
--tidying their room
--picking up toys in the living room
I have most of these chores divied up between them & change it weekly & they can each earn up to $2 a week allowance.
Am I asking too much? Often it is a struggle to motivate them, & my frustration w/ them doesn't help. Any tips?

I also feel terribly guilty when all the other kids in the neighborhood are out playing while mine are inside "slaving" around...

Lol! Yes, they do get to play...
I really appreciate the input so far

There is no question that the kids are capable of doing these things...I've seen them do them all (well AND in a timely manner)...especially when something fun is in the immediate future :), so yes, Dirt Fire, I think my problem is getting them (& keeping them) motivated...more praise is definately in order & does work well with my 5th child (my hubby)--they really are wonderful kids in so many ways--I am a blessed woman :)

I neglected to mention the vacuuming I'm talking about is with one of those light-weight broom-vacs
(a dustbuster on a stick) on my hardwood & linoleum floors...that is actually one chore they enjoy, so there is no debatin' that one!!

Answer 1

KUDOS to you for showing your children responsibility!!! Giving children chores at an early age teaches them how a family works. It shows them team work, respect for their parents and their house, and how a family is to be run. My advice to you is to remember they are kids. On the weekends, let them off the hook, or shorten the list.. let them be a kid! Giving them a break will increase their motivation.. dont you feel more motivated when you have a vacation??? They do too!!! Again, KUDOS to you!!!

Answer 2

If the chores are divided up, except the 1st 3 of course, no I don't think it is too much for them. I just think that they feel they aren't getting enough out of it. I'm sure that now that you have two more small children that your time with them is spread thin. Maybe a reward for doing their chores could be 1 hour of special one on one mommy time a week. Like a hour before bed sit down and play a game in their room while hubby watches the 2 little ones, or if that isn't feasible try asking your husband to take the babies for one whole weekend day a month and take the older 2 to a movie just the 3 of you. Not only do they feel special it gives you and hour and a half in a dark theater to RELAX!! Which I'm sure you desperately need. Maybe try sitting down with them and seeing why they are having such a hard time getting their chores done. They may give you the best insight. Good luck!

Answer 3

I think the vacuuming non-carpeted floors before and after dinner is a little too much. Maybe once a day is good enough?
Toys in the livingroom... Are they the 5&6 y/os or the toddler&infants? IF they are the 5&6 year olds fine they should pick them up. If they are not the 5&6 year olds you should be helping them with that.
I don't know how much you ask them to do in their bathroom but as long as they arn't burshing the toilet everyday I would say thats okay too..
Other then that sounds about normal.

Answer 4

More moms should be like you. Maybe we wouldn't have such spoiled children in our world. Most children have no responsibilities. They just get what they want without working for it. They are doing typical chores that all children should be doing. Maybe a sticker chart on the wall that they could put a sticker beside when they finish a chore might help, Most young children want a visual reminder of their efforts. If all their stickers are filled then they get their allowance. Good Luck and Great job.

Answer 5

Most of the things you ask them to do, have to be done anyway. Brushing your teeth isn't a chore, its a neccessity.

Have you tried a sticker board for motivation? Make a bright colored board, buy a bunch of stickers, and let the girls pick out their own stickers and put on the board when they do one of their chores without fuss.

It seems silly to us, but positive motivation actually works for kids, especially 5 & 6 year olds.

And they do get to play sometimes don't they? Kids need play.

Answer 6

Certain things on your list really aren't chores, but simply responsibilities that each child should be doing anyways. I dodn't think is TOO much at all, after all, they are old enough to accomplish these things. The problem is motivating them correct? I would say to them, if they have accomplished their am chores in REASONALBE time and effort and less and less begging from me, they can have a 1/2 house outside with other kids, or an hour, then they come in and finish the 2nd half of chores and resposibilities same way to earn the next days privilage of going outside to play. I am a foster parent and we work on whats called step charts. Whatever behavior we are trying to accomplish we step on it. Say we are trying to get temper tantrums from 10 a day to 0, first we set it realistically, we get the child to cooperate, if you can get your temper tantrums down to 6 a day, you get some privilage. Once they are at 6 a day for a week to a month we step it down again, to say 3 a day and so on. If we are wanting them to make their beds without being reminded a gazillion times we start with make your bed with out being reminded 20 times, then 10 times and so on. It all goes on the board they can see and we mark it. When they have made an accomplishment we give them a check and if they can get 7 checks on whatever we are working on, then they get a special treat, time alone with the foster parent, a special toothbrush, a trip to McDonalds, whatever we have agreed on up front and preferably something easy and affordable. Working on getting teeth brushed we tie the reward to something they like, say a superhero Spiderman and if they get their checks for a week or a month, they get a Spiderman toothbrush. Believe me, it works really good. I would just work on getting a few more DAILY rewards for your kids, such as time outside with other kids, or something you can all agree on. And you can help them from time to time, maybe that could be a reward for them if they make their checks, you will help them for say 5 minutes, they get you all to themselves while they work and so on, its really not hard to come up with rewards once you think about it. I think you got it right though, they aren't too young to do things. My Mom had me on a stepstool doing my own laundry, as well as my brothers and doing dishes at 7-8 years old and I didn't think it was too much, although sometimes I didn't want to do it right then, my Mom would sometimes (if I asked nice) let me forgo chores for an hour or so to do something because I had really done them well otherwise. So it wasn't punishment, it was part of my jobs in the household, just like EVERYONE else, so I didn't feel picked on or put upon. I hope this helps you. Good luck!

Answer 7

Asking children to do chores teaches them responsibility, sharing and team work. So I think that you are trying to teach them good things.

Maybe you need to change what they do, so they don't get bored? If you are having problems motivating them, it sounds like they need a change.

I do think it is important that children are not used as house slaves, and do these things because they know it is part of being a family and everyone has to help out.

Do they also see you doing chores when they are? It may help their motivation if they see that everyone is helping out.

Answer 8

Out of all those things, the only one I don't have my kids (8 & 4) do is the vaccuming. I would rather do that myself...:)

However, I would give them a little more money for all that. My kids get $1 for every year of their age. I break it down like this...

1/2 of allowance goes into piggy bank for savings.
10% of the remaining half goes into a jar to donate at the end of the year
Then they can have the rest

Answer 9

$2 that's it?

Answer 10

They're 5 & 6 and you can actually get them to do all that?! Wow, I'm impressed! Your list seems fairly reasonable, but I think I would leave out the vacuuming--that's a bit much for 5-6 year olds.