He will not listen tome at all, he his an angry kid, hits his sister who is 3,break things,screams for no reason..... I don't know what to do to get him underconrtol I have tryed everything. Please give you input or advice on a bad liitle 6 year old boy.
2006-11-30 00:06:20 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Hey there,
I have some ideas and thoughts that I hope will help you, as a public school teacher working with third graders and having studied discipline in undergraduate and graduate studies. (I'm also a new parent.)
First, don't get discouraged. If you seem frustrated with him or start to "give up" in any way, he will know it and it can fuel the fire.
What I think you need to do at this point is start fresh. One day just sit him down and lay out THE NEW FAMILY RULES - WRITTEN DOWN, too. (Even if he couldn't READ them, it would be more official.) The rules can be simple and cut-and-dry, like NO HITTING. NO SCREAMING. Let him know exactly what the consequences will be when a rule is broken, whether it be a loss of a privilege or a "time out" - whatever works best for your family. Just one thing on that - don't get into sending him to his room, because many parents do that and that is where all the fun and toys are often located!
After laying out the rules, be CONSISTENT. Follow through, even if you are exhausted. It will be worth it. Also, don't pay any attention to him when he is acting out. Be quick to explain what he did wrong and then follow through with the predetermined consequence. Giving him too much attention when he makes poor choices will only encourage him to do it more because children love attention!
Be sure to praise your son after making a good choice, give him hugs and cuddles, and tell him how much you love him.
To combat the bad choice-making, I would also suggest defining some specific "Mommy and Son" times where you can give him the attention he craves in a positive setting. It could be a certain time of day, or a couple of days a week. He may be hitting your daughter because he is jealous of the attention she gets. I'm sure that he loves you very much and wants to spend a lot of time with you. This also could be the root of the problem with his screaming. Screaming is difficult on a person, physically, and I think that there is a reason that he is doing it.
One quote that I heard while studying how to deal with challenging children was this: "What others label as bad behavior is really a plea for love and understanding." This quote had a huge impact on me, and I hope that it helps you put a spin on your situation to make it seem more manageable. If you can just give your son the love and attention he wants and try to figure out WHY he is behaving how he is (you may even try asking him) you can work to solve it. Praise, praise, praise him for every little thing that he does that is a good choice, and you should start to see him work for that all the time.
I wish you all the best and hope that this response helps.
2006-11-30 00:24:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anne C 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ANNE C has some great advice cut and paste it then print it out and study it you could also use simple pictures with her suggestions like a boy with a tooth brush or even photographs of him doing things like eating dinner playing a game cleaning the room these work for me i take the photos laminate them then stick the on the cardboard it is set in 3 sections now, next, then so i put a pic of what has they have to be doing now like eating dinner for example then next to that i put the picture of bath time then brush your teeth pic so that they know what it is they are doing now next and after that you should try not to yell and don't give him labels like calling him bad etc.. say that's not nice or i don't like that you need to go over all this information that you have received from all the members and start a routine using whatever suits you best but don't wait or he will turn into just another thug!!!
2006-11-30 00:58:13 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister has a son just like that. She went to a councilor and they found she was arguing with the child and warning him to much about things. Now she tells him one time .."stop hitting your sister" if he continues , she quietly walks to him, picks him up and puts him on the chair. If he Tries to get up she uses a restrain method. After he calms down she tells him 5 more minutes and you can get up if you don't misbehave. If you do misbehave you will be back on the chair. Sounds like a long process? It is! But things are much better in the home and the counseling has helped so much. Time and effort now will save heartache for both of you later. lol
2006-11-30 00:12:45 · answer #3 · answered by lepluver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's stress. My kids have it to. You need to turn down the pressure at home. When I scolded my kids LESS they calmed down. As I relax, so do they, and they behave better. If I don't get angry, they're less likely to. If I explain, and hug, and show understanding instead of losing my cool, then they respond. What you describe is likely a reaction. Try to retrain him to a different rhythm. As for not listening, there's not much you can do about that. He's six. If you find a cure, get a patent: you'll make billions.
2006-11-30 00:10:14 · answer #4 · answered by crispy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This little boy wasn't born bad,and it is sad that you call him bad.
It sounds like he is lacking discipline, boundaries and reliable behaviour from his major carers.
He needs a strong routine, he needs to see you being consistent in your approach, to see that rules are in place and that they don't change.
He needs to see that you can discipline him, that when you say no, you mean no, and that you don't change your mind just to save him from having a temper tantrum.
He has learnt, and you have taught him, that it is OK to behave this way. Your job is to teach him new, acceptable behaviour.
Work out what you want from him, make up some rules, stick to them and most important of all spend time with him and see that he has huge potential to be a good boy and it is your job to bring that out.
2006-11-30 00:24:36 · answer #5 · answered by Sally E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is Dad still in the picture? Sounds like a lack of discipline to me.
2006-11-30 00:07:53 · answer #6 · answered by c.arsenault 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Discipline him. Show him who the parent is. Strip his room bear of everything but a bed if you have to. Allow him to have absolutely no privledges until he learns some respect.
2006-11-30 00:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by mamabag06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, YOU NEED TO WHIP THIS LITTLE BOY INTO SHAPE!!!!! Regardless of what Dr. Phil, Dr. Spok, And Oprah say the only way to make this kid behave is pull down his pants and make his rear end cherry red. The Bible says if you do not beat the devil out of your child you do not love him. That may nt mean much to you but trust me it is the only way to make any child behave. Also, you have to be consistent with this. If you whip him for being mean one time and then pat him on the back the other time he'll get confused and/or think whipping to be an empty threat. When you whip a child that young you need to explain to him soon after that you don't want to whip him but if he disobeys you, you have no choice. My parents did the same with me, and I plan to do the same with my kids. Trust me when he's old enough he'll be thankful...I know I am. :-)
2006-11-30 00:23:36 · answer #8 · answered by AJ 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋
i advise... chiropractor. neck and back x-rays. thats where all the important stuff is. this behaviour doesnt "just happen". there is a cause, most likely that he brain cant send the messages down the spinal cord properly.
2006-11-30 00:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Smack his little butt, or tell him if he's getting on like that you have to carry him to the police station, where all the bad people like.....be harsh...that work for my friends son....
good luck...
2006-11-30 02:56:29 · answer #10 · answered by *Cutie* 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋