My girlfriend has gone away to thailand for two weeks with four of her mates.Since she's been gone i have been really missing her and its got to a point where i've got myself into a state and convinced myself she will cheat on me. I have no reason to believe she will as she is great and she has contacted me loads since she's been away but it keeps nigglin at me.I was married once and my wife was an airhostess and after we split stories went round about her cheating on me when she was away. Ever since things like this get me paranoid. How do i cope whilst my girlfriend is away and how i do deal with it when she gets back. I guess i'm just scared because all of this is out of my control and i don't want to lose her and all of our future plans. I'm having a real tough time of this becase since she's been gone my god daughter has been diagnosed with cancer and my job has been a nightmare and to be honset i'm heading for depression if i lose her to.
2006-11-29 23:27:56 · 12 answers · asked by stuart s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
be cool man coz she's having a REALLY good time over there
2006-11-29 23:31:00 · answer #1 · answered by B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't let past experiences tarnish future relationships... Just because that was what your ex did by no means does that mean that your current partner will do that too. Hopefully you have worked yourself up about nothing and if she has been calling you a lot that obviously means she's thinking about you a lot too! Winding yourself up like that will not help. Just because your partner has gone away without you does not mean she will cheat on you unless that is the kind of person she is anyway. If you are saying that she's nice then i don't think she will. Trust her unless she gives you a reason not to...
2006-11-30 07:35:39 · answer #2 · answered by Jo_Diva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I won't start with telling you that same old story "that trust is the base of any relationship", but it certainly is a big part of it. I am just out of a relationship where my ex was absolutly paranoid and i can tell you that it killed the vibe. That is no way to live. It is not fair towards yourself and it is not fair towards her. By letting your paranoia get the better of you right now, you are putting on the same level with your ex. Is she really so much like her? Let me give you the same advise my grandfather gave me before he died. Absence to love is like wind to a fire. If the fire is small it extinguishes. If the fire is big it only gets bigger.
Dont make yourself paranoid about something you can not control. Things happen the way they are meant to happen. Dont beat yourself up about something that is not existent yet... and probably will not be.
Dont be selfish... your god daughter and your job need you right now. If something happens to go wrong then it is time to spend energy on it...
Hope this helped...
2006-11-30 07:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by Heskalil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, take a deep breath, now realize that ur girlfriend is not ur exwife, they are completely different people. Its gonna be hard but just find things to keep ur mind occupied on these couple of weeks while she's gone (maybe plan a welcome party or a dinner for her and her friends). Life is indeed hard and u will learn to cope with it, I understand it is really painful about ur god daughter but keep a positive attitude (it helps alot) instead of thinking negative, think positive (besides life is way easier that way, because i know what it feels like) And u did say it, it is out of ur control so just motivate urself to deal with it with ease and u will be able to confront what ever comes ur way. Have faith.
2006-11-30 07:45:37 · answer #4 · answered by chinaz777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, firstly once you have been cheated on it is very difficult to separate the hurt from the past to the girl you are going out with now, trust will obviously take more time for you due to this, tell your girlfriend when she comes back how much you love her and missed her don't seem like the jealous boyfriend just tell her that sometimes due to your ex you find it hard not to worry, im sure if she loves you she will at least try and understand and put your mind at rest. just try and communicate because if you bottle these feelings up you will drive yourself mad wondering about the what ifs and she will leave you anyway because you would have drove her away with your insecurites, just tell her how you feel and that you love her and im sure it will be fine and 2 weeksis better than 2 years...good luck
2006-11-30 07:35:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stu calm down mate... we all been there... Firstly you dont know whether she will do anything whilst away and you cant know unless your watching her... let her have her fun chances are shes missing you too, try to keep yourself occupied and arrange a nice welcome home for her maybe buy a friendship ring or take her out when she get shome.. god sake dont ask her if shes been faithful, relationships need alot of trust, what your saying is you dont trust her so dont ask her that! just say how much you really missed her and how you have realised how much you do really like/love her.. At the end of the day, if she is sleeping around in thailand then shes no good for you, your job maybe tough at the moment because your constantly worried about her and your family member who has cancer, i would avert your thoughts to your family member be there for them then try to do something with your time go out with mates visit family you havent seen for ages. just chill out before you wind yourself up so much your gf will com ehome you will be stressed say something silly have an argument and split up anyway even though she hadn't done anything,,, chill dude stop being so negative and thinking the worse! take it from me i was there once my gf went away for a week i was so jealous insecure i accused her of shagging loads of blokes when we got back and we ended up splitting up so DO NOT GO THERE! you think your depressed now? hope you dont find out what it really is! good luck and go do something you wanna do. If it was me, id be partying enjoying my 2 weeks freedom LOL bu i wouldnt go sleeping with anyone
2006-11-30 07:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by stuio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm calm calm ... first of all, I think it's the daughter's cancer that's really upsetting you, not the possibility of your girlfriend cheating. Have you told your girlfriend about your god daughter's illness? You should.
The tension between trust and control. Calm down and trust your girlfriend, worry about what she might be up to when you KNOW FOR SURE. Don't worry about what you can't control. It only upsets you.
As for your god daughter, and your job, if your boss is sympathetic, speak to him/her about your daughter. It's natural that you be upset and worried about this, and of course one can be affecting the other. And even if the boss is not sympathetic, you can get another job ... material things can be replaced, but your god daughter is another matter.
Take a deep breath, and talk to a friend who's close to you now. And to the boss, maybe ...
2006-11-30 07:38:23 · answer #7 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...stop obsessing on any one thing . Trust your girlfriend ...what can you do if she was cheating?....nothing.
This is a code i live by maybe it will help you . If I have a problem I fix it....if I can't do anything about it ....I ask myself can i live with this?...if i can i accept it ...if i cant i get it out of my life...
I wish you the best that life has to offer...and I'm just curious but when was the last time you just had a good time??..just a hard laughing no worries time??,,..that's so very important for everyone . I think if we all just had more laughs and fun in our life we wouldn't be so dang bad off!!...many laughs for you !!
Peace
2006-11-30 07:37:42 · answer #8 · answered by KorvetteKaren 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww stuart hun, stop fretting. Just coz one mean lady did it to you, it doesn't mean this one will! Don't tar them all with the same brush coz you will end up a lonely guy.
Look at it this way, if its gonna happen, its gonna happen and no amount of fretting and worrying will stop that.
You have already said she is a fab girl, so why would she do that to you anyway?!
Stop stressing yourself out. She will be back in your arms in no time.
2006-11-30 07:31:53 · answer #9 · answered by Liggy Lee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just calm down, she's having a great time with her friends. When she gets back home, talk to her about it. Just tell her how you feel, you will feel a lot better.
2006-11-30 07:33:45 · answer #10 · answered by Jenny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey sorry but if you dont trust her then your in the wrong relationship.
dont judge new relationships on old ones or your not going knowhere with relationships
2006-11-30 07:33:39 · answer #11 · answered by PETER J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋