I've just started a new relationship, about two months in, and we have been spending a great deal of time together. My girlfriend has a 5 year old daughter whose father is not in the picture. My girlfriends daughter is starting to play up and getting a bit jealous of our relationship. I have spent a lot of fun time with the daughter and tried to do things together. We are now at a point were the daughter is starting to rescent me and I am backing away because I don't want her to hate me. I have talked openly with my GF about spending less time together, so they can spend a bit more quality time together, but she see's me as getting cold feet. I seriously want to be a big part of both their lives, but don't want to intrude either.
2006-11-29 22:56:10 · 9 answers · asked by gibsonperkins 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds as though your girlfriend has found a very good person to spend her life with.
The daughter will play up more if you stay away than if you keep spending time with her. This is a problem you and your girlfriend have to solve together and on the same page. If she would prefer you don't back away, listen to her. Over the next few months, try to keep dates where you take mom away from the daughter to a minimum. Keep the little girl involved as much as possible so she gets a chance to work out for herself that you're not a threat.
Remember that right now, you actually are a threat to the little girl's way of life. Things are changing drastically for her by having you move into the family and she's too young to think things through rationally. This is a problem your time and kindness will resolve.
From everything you've said though, it looks like you're going to be a positive in her life. Good luck :-)
2006-11-30 00:22:11 · answer #1 · answered by Canadian_mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right...your gf needs to spend more quality time with her daughter alone so the daughter doesn't see you as a threat. It's in your best interest to have a good relationship with the daughter and it sounds like your on the right track. Her behaviour is all attention seeking so she obviously needs more attention from her mum than what she is getting!!You need to talk to your gf again and let her know how important she, and her daughter are to you and make a plan together that will make everyone happy. Seeing her father isn't in the picture, she'll need you in the future so after she feels secure about her relationship with her mum, you can work on yours,,,remember to praise and reward her when she's behaving!!
2006-11-29 23:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is scared you'll do a runner... Probably bad experiences in the past...
Make an effort to change her mind...
Suggest going on holiday together, all three, somewhere fun and get involve with the daughter... Then see if she can get a family member or friend to look after the child for a weekend so the two of you can spend some quality time...
2006-11-29 23:11:29 · answer #3 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As to your problem, you dont have to put a gap between you and your girlfriend because she would really think that you dont like her anymore. The best thing you can do is to be more closer to her daughter and know what are the things she like, the things she hate, and the "attitude" you must have...... When you go to their house, just bring something for the kid just like chocolate, or anything. im sure she'll be happy about it. You can ask your gilfriend about those things.
I hope my answer had helped you. godbless!!!!!!!
2006-11-29 23:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by timz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your going to have a battle with the daughter, she is going to be jealous and have hard feelings toward you for a while.
You have to let her know your not going to go anywhere and want to be part of her life, that you love her mother and want the three of you to be a family.
Maybe you can take her Christmas shopping for her mother, while your out shopping talk with her about your feelings.
Hope this helps.
2006-11-29 23:33:38 · answer #5 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try showing the Daughter that you are for real and that you are not going anywhere if the Dad is not in the picture maybe she is afraid to get close to you thinking maybe if she does you will leave too.
2006-11-30 00:19:51 · answer #6 · answered by SAHM and proud of it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and do thins with both dauter and mother eg carnival or the movies dont exclude the kid but dont baby her. kids want what they dont have but if you to cold she wont like you give her small prezenst and be nice and offer to baby sit andsneek her chocs or candy lol that useualy works
2006-11-29 23:01:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make an effort to change her mind...
2006-11-29 23:14:56 · answer #8 · answered by heartattack262000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER EVER date a woman with kids.....
2006-11-30 03:11:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋