We already have two daughters (9&7). My husband is 40 and i am 30, have been married for 10 years now. Everyone around keeps telling me i should have another baby. My husband keeps telling me he has no problem, having or not having another baby, he will still be happy, but then i hear him asking our daughters do you wish to have a new sister or brother? And their answer was a big YES.
I do not know what i should do. i love my family a lot , more than anything else and yet i do not think i can go through all this again, i do not have this patience anymore. I think in my age now i need to relax and look after myself and my family too.
Do you think i am being selfish to think that way?
2006-11-29 22:46:02 · 14 answers · asked by green eyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't think you should feel pressure just because your children want a new brother or sister (children always say 'yes' because they don't understand the responsibilities involved --- bless 'em!) I likewise don't think you should feel worried just because your husband asked your children. Being a dad, when my wife and I were talking about having a third child, I asked our first two what they thought, because I think it's important to make the children part of the decision. Your husband may simply have wanted their opinion. Particularly if you don't think you can do it again, just say so. I'm sure your husband would understand. Just say "We have two beautiful, healthy children. Let's quit while we're ahead. I just don't think I could start again." He'd probably agree.
2006-11-29 22:52:08 · answer #1 · answered by crispy 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You've got plenty of time to think about it. At 30 you've got another 10 years or so before you'd have problems conceiving. I don't think you should have a baby to make your daughters happy - it's not a pet and they won't be doing the hard work.
Personally, I think I wait a couple of years and then try for another. It's nice to have babies and older kids together; I'm lucky enough to have two step-kids (12 & 14) and my own baby daughter and it's lovely to see them all together!!
2006-11-30 07:04:17 · answer #2 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No sweetie you are not being selfish...You and your husband really needs to sit down and discuss this...You need to reveal to him how you truly feel about it...I am 51 and sometimes I wish I could still have children for mine are grown, yet I know I cant due to my age with patience..Takes alot these days...Oh girl, most family always gets excited when talkin of new little ones,,is normal..But hun they need to understand your position as well...I think after you and your husband have your talk then you will be more at ease with your decision...Pray about it too...God will lead you also into what to do...God bless you and your family
2006-11-30 06:52:15 · answer #3 · answered by glowworm 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you are selfish to think that way. Give birth to a new baby is easy but how he is raised is more important. You are aging. And are you sure you are healthy enough, have enough time and stable income to guarantee the best for your new baby. From what you told, you are happy with the present. One baby more does not mean you are happier. Instead, save more time and care to what you are having now.
2006-11-30 10:28:55 · answer #4 · answered by ngoctran1999 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, your not being selfish.
The thought of starting over with another child is over whelming.
Your past the all night feedings, diapers, packing around the car seat and so on.
Enjoy your family and look forward to your R&R.
Good Luck.
2006-11-30 07:25:16 · answer #5 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you. if you are happily married, then you won't be raising them on your own. sounds like you have a very supportive network of family and friends. children are gifts from God. Your age is perfect for your chance at having a healthy child. 18-35 years of age is perfect.
you never know, this time might be a boy, if not, it will be beautiful anyway.
2006-11-30 06:47:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, i don't think u r being selfish. the decision is up to u and ur husband to decide. u don't want another and he doesn't care either way, so in my opinion don't have another one.
please remember, the people around u and ur daughters, r not the 1's who will be raising the baby.
2006-11-30 06:53:15 · answer #7 · answered by Miki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOUR CHOICE!!! I for one think that 2 kids enough, but if u really have fun taking care of your kids and watching them grow up. Have another baby. If not, don't care about what others think cuz you are the one that's gonna have the baby NOT them.
*just so u know, ur taking advice from a seventh grader.
2006-11-30 06:52:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
the only way is to talk things out with ur hubby and make the deccision together....not based on ur kids' opinions. U as a parent knows best.
2006-11-30 06:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by Ms B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not selfish. You've , wisely, recognized your needs and limits. Sit down with your husband and let him know how you feel. Enjoy your life!
2006-11-30 06:49:36 · answer #10 · answered by grandm 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋