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my boyfriend of almost two years told me he doesnt want me around anymore. He's really busy and he says im not maturing, i dont understand him, i demand too much from him, i love him too much, i depend on him too much, and im too emotional. I asked him to just end it up instead of leaving me hanging - but he wouldn't break it off. He said he'll just let things be. I dont want to call him since he said im too dependent. But im really hurting. and i still love him. Should i wait? He did this to me i think 4 times already - and the last three times, i asked him back. but its so god damn painful now - not to mention my lowered self esteem. advise please. =,(

2006-11-29 22:42:56 · 16 answers · asked by illusory_angel 2 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

16 answers

You sound sincere and honest. I think you have real feelings for this guy and he doesn't really care how you feel. It looks to me as if he is using you unill he finds someone eles. But at least he has givin you fair warning ...and basicly has told you straight out that you and him are not a good match . You should respect him on that point and find someone that sees your love and caring for what it is and not as bad things as this guy seems to . I think that is what he is waiting for. Too many guys to worry about one that is not a good match for you!!
I wish you love ...happiness and health..and the strenth to do the hard things...

Peace

2006-11-29 22:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by KorvetteKaren 4 · 0 1

First, I'm sorry you're in such pain. Almost everyone's been there (and definitely myself), so I know how much it sucks being where u r right now.

Second, I'm confused by your Q; you said the bf told you "he doesnt want me around anymore", but then you said he wouldn't break it off. I'm not sure what that means, or where that leaves things, but from where I stand, if someone tells you they don't want you around, it's broken off already.

Move on now. The sooner you end this yourself, the sooner you'll start to heal. Crawling or taking him back will not only delay the healing, it'll further destroy your self-esteem, which is probably what caused you to be too clingy in the first place.

My favorite analogy for this situation is that of taking off a bandage - it's always better to pull once, fast and hard, than to pull slowly and timidly, which always hurts more.

Once you've extricated yourself from this unhealthy situation (and trust me, if this guy cared whatsoever about you, he wouldn't treat your heart like a yo-yo), you need to spend a LOT of time with and on your self. Try to develop yourself and your skills and interests so you can build confidence and your own interests.

Once you've done that, you'll attract a better set of ppl, and won't put up w/ the B.S. that you have from this clown. Finally, you won't be as clingy or needy once you do find yourself in a new relationship.

If that fails to work, you might want to look into some professional help to see if you have any abandonment issues or seperation anxieties that need attention.

Good luck to you!

2006-11-29 22:53:58 · answer #2 · answered by 40oz2freedom 2 · 0 0

You should leave him. He is treating you bad because he knows you are dependent on him. It's a matter of time that he'll call it off with you. The reason he is still hanging on to you is, he has not find a stable girlfriend yet. Till he has done so, he will not end it with you. It's obvious that he is not in love with you anymore. Yes I believe you can't live with him at the moment. Try to mix around more and keep yourself occupied with activities and work so that you can get him off your mind.

Its not easy, but do it girl. You will find that there is someone out there who deserve your loving.. and he will love back :)

2006-11-29 22:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by Dani 3 · 0 0

Sorry to say m8 but ur boyfriend sounds like a real knob.... but then u keep lettin him do it.... look if he has done this to u 4 times b4 then i think maybe he likes beating down ur self esteem to make himself feel better.. he isn't worth it u need to kick him to the curb... throw all his **** out... and tell him if he has a problem with u then u wont love, depend or be emotional over him anymore.. but don't wait for him because he obviously doesn't care for u as much as u care for him otherwise he wouldn't hurt u like this.... get on with ur life m8 and show him how u can be strong and live without him ..... it may hurt at first but trust me as time goes by and u get ur self esteem back u will be thinking why the hell did i stay with him..... GOODLUCK

2006-11-29 22:50:58 · answer #4 · answered by angelindisguise 2 · 0 0

Sometimes saying were over is really hard and painful but there are times that we had to understand and accept that there are times that we had to accept the reality of life,and we must learn to love ourself first before loving anyone.As you had said he had done it too you for how many times and i think he will be use on doing this because letting him.Its not good for both of you to be hang on your relationship.If he don't want to end it why don't you put end on it,he can't do anything if you said its over.If you are really meant for each other the day will come that you will be back to each other arms but if not you hadto let it go.Remember if someone had gone to your life someone better will come along unexpectedly.I can say this cause it also happened to me.You have to right to enjoy life,life is too short to be waste and be hang on a relationship like that. Good luck

2006-11-29 22:53:49 · answer #5 · answered by kimy 3 · 0 0

How about this?

You try your best to forget about him......go out with your friends and throw yourself into the things you used to do before you met him. Keep busy but most of all become a social animal, make new friends, meet new people and if you meet someone who you like and they ask you out.......go for it.

Whilst you are doing this you have the best of both worlds as you will not be sat at home thinking of him relentlessly and should he call you saying that he wants you back -

a) You might be out partying, causing him to think "WTF?!!"
b) You can make a better informed decision as to whether you want him back. Your life may be so much better and simpler that you might prefer it that way and save yourself the aggarvation that this guy obviously brings to you.

Good luck honey.
x

2006-11-29 22:54:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I too had many uos and down with my love but time they say is the best healer i left everything on time but never left him. And as days past by he understood my value when i did not give up inspite of his rude behaviour. And now that we are in to different countries so far away his love has increased a lot. We speak to each other everyday and he loves me a lot and me too. Let him take his own time.

2006-11-29 22:50:22 · answer #7 · answered by 'S' 2 · 0 0

Break it off yourself - it'll hurt, but not as much as it would if he just kept you hanging on for a long time. Find someone closer to your own emotional level and you'll be happier.

2006-11-29 22:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by supensa 6 · 0 0

It will never work,,4 times this has happened, YOU COMPLETELY BREAK IT OFF and move on, if you are the kinda person he claims you are, then you deserve someone much better than him.

2006-11-29 22:46:37 · answer #9 · answered by godzilla99s 2 · 0 0

Sweetie I don't think your in love with him, its infatuation and you need him right now because your used to going to him with your problems AND it seems forbidden to do so, its a mix of temptation and a habit.
Calm down, you can make it :-]

2006-11-29 22:47:37 · answer #10 · answered by ThisSongsForYou 3 · 0 0

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