A young couple had just finished having sex when the girlfriend said 'i wish my boobs were bigger', so the boyfriend said 'why don't you take some toilet paper and rub it between them everyday for two months'. The girlfriend then asked 'how is that supposed to make them bigger?'. The boyfriend then replied 'well it worked for your bum!'.
2006-11-29 22:17:46 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Ha Ha. That was funny.
Get this
naughty little Johnny @ the class
During one of her daily classes, a teacher was trying to teach good manners,
asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
"What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I'm sorry,
but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at
the dinner table."
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your
good manners?"
I would say, "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to
shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to
meet after dinner."
____________________________________________________
marriage
Marriage - Part I
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I
don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on
table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go
hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old
buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my
rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ......... whether
you're here or not."
(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
******************************
Marriage Part III
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed
either," and storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make
amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings,
and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
******************************************
Marriage Part IV
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so
proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in
spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go
home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,shouts right
back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
**************************************
Marriage Part V
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at
5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper
by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a
rough draft before the masterpiece.
____________________________________________________
BYE - Imtiyaz G
2006-11-29 22:57:19 · answer #1 · answered by Imtiyaz G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's funny how things have changed. Great list and sadly so true.
2016-05-23 04:32:53 · answer #2 · answered by Nancy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gd 1 pmsl 10/10
2006-11-29 22:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ITS THE ONLY JOKE I HEARD SO FAR TODAY, SO I LL GIVE IT THE THUMBS UP.
HAVE A GOOD DAY
2006-11-29 22:35:03 · answer #4 · answered by purple diamond 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats the best joke so far today
2006-11-29 22:20:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL...oldy but amusing
2006-11-29 22:20:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
i don't understand how you get thumbs down for that one.
hahahahhahahahahahahahaha
2006-11-29 22:39:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
naughty boy
2006-11-29 22:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by markhatter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An oldy but still a goodie... you wont get the thumbs down for trying.... more please
2006-11-29 22:21:06 · answer #9 · answered by 2 good 2 miss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooh I hope she threw him out
2006-11-29 22:19:33 · answer #10 · answered by specs appeal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋